my dad dragged me into brainstorming
how to be more involved with his wife.
Looking past the obvious weirdness,
can I ask why your adult best friend is on my bed?
You're lucky, little man --
you got the best mattress in the whole house.
And you know that because...
Oh, I water your plants when you're out of town,
but the details aren't important.
What's important is getting the Mur-man
back in your mama's good graces.
Exactly.
You two morons seem to keep your women happy,
so I thought I could ask you both for some tips.
My first tip would be
to not go to your child for advice on intimacy.
And your second tip?
Just get in that hot tub with her.
Amen to that, Mur.
Hop in that lobster pot with your lady.
Sooth the aches and pains of your body and marriage.
Also, what happens under that foam --
Oh, boy.
Yeah, sure.
Just to hit the fast-forward,
maybe a love note would do the trick.
I get hand cramps
and don't want to.
What else you got?
How about a moonlit stroll?
Well, I do go out at night to the mailbox.
Uh, she's more than welcome to follow me.
But that is really my only alone time, so I say no.
Oh, my God. You are so bad at this.
Because these ideas are terrible.
Look, buddy, it's normal. Things get tired.
Happens to everybody.
But here's the good news.
Your laziness as a husband is so profound
that even the smallest gesture
is gonna make a big difference to Mom.
A small gesture?
That's just slightly more than I already do.
I can do that. There you go.
A little affection, a little surprise.
She'll be blown away.
I got it! Thank you!
Yeah, you're gonna maybe want to follow your friend?
Oh, this bed is like a cloud's lap.
[ Moans ]
While my dad was gonna show my mom he could change,
Barry was gonna show his friends the new him.
Attention, fashion elite! Barrington has arrived.
Who's Barrington? And what are you wearing?
You noticed my ensemble.
This is my new forever look.
And you thought your hat was stupid.
I didn't.
Well, I'm taking stupid to new and exciting heights.
I don't think so, Bar. You look kind of amazing.
Really amazing. In fact, I'm kind of regretting
this very hot, cumbersome coat I'm wearing.
I've taken like three sports bets today,
and I have no idea what to do with the money.
Yeah, and I don't like how exposed I have to get
when I pee.
Barry? Is that you?
Sure is, Lisa.
Go ahead. Drink me in.
Tell everyone how little you desire me.
This goes against every fiber of my being,
but you actually look super cute.
What? How dare you?
Look closer at these soft pastels.
This actually breaks my soul,
but I think I want you to call me.
What?
This can't be happening.
How could I be even more attractive?
Because, Bar, you sincerely look good.
And you should feel good, too.
Well, I hate the way I look,
and I hate the way you look, too.
They're just clothes, man.
It's not just the clothes. It's everything.
College, living on our own,
new jobs, new girlfriends.
Matt Bradley isn't even here anymore.
Matt's actually coming back tonight.
Please, he's never coming back.
San Francisco has it all.
Cable cars, Alcatraz,
earthquakes.
It's paradise.
Buddy, I think you may be overreacting.
We're always gonna be the JTP.
Are we? Because it seems to me
we're all going in our separate directions.
And I'm the only one who cares.
Barrington...
The -- The gate is open.
As Barry worried the JTP was destined to fall apart,
my dad hoped his romantic gesture
would bring my parents together.
♪ Slicing up a grapefruit, oh ♪ Surprise affect--
[ Screams ]
Oh, my God, Murray!
Oh! Oh! Brought you flowers.
What were you thinking?
I was thinking I would get a smooch from my wife,
not a fruit knife in my arm.
You're lucky my survival instincts didn't fully kick in.
I would've finished you off.
How am I lucky?! I've got a new hole in my body.
Imagine if I'd been chopping an onion.
You'd have a chef's knife in your heart,
and I would be a beautiful widow
with a long line of eligible suitors
standing outside the door.
The door to your jail cell.
No jury would ever believe
that you would do something sweet and spontaneous.
But at least I tried. And what did it get me?
A moldy basement and a light stabbing.
You know what, Murray? Sometimes trying isn't enough.
I don't need a hot tub without you in it, or a random hug.
I need real connection.
Clearly, I don't know what that is.
And that's the problem. 00:04:11.751,00:00:00.000 ♪♪