Heya playa, have you ever found yourself getting closer to someone thinking that it was
leading to a potential romantic relationship but somehow under the surface you were still
unsure as to whether or not this person was leading you on?
Figuring out if someone's leading you on is not always the easiest thing to do but there are
certain signs that you should be looking for, I'm gonna walk you through what they are right now.
First, let's talk about what leading on actually looks like.
If you hold an expectation of someone that the two of you are on the same page and you're working
towards the same thing, just casually dating, a romantic relationship, or even a friendship,
and then you find out that they have a totally different perspective than you do
and it was just never communicated that could make you feel like you were being led on.
But communication isn't the only piece, after all, you communicate with your friends and your
family members and you never feel led on by them so what is that missing component?
Well, I'm gonna break it out in four quadrants for you.
The two factors that you need to be looking out for are how often the two
of you communicate as well as how often the two of you hang out or spend time together.
If you feel like the communication between the two of you is great in the sense that you're
always DMing each other, you're saying hi, and having conversations in person but you're never
actually hanging out with them one-on-one you might be in the feedback friend zone.
The feedback friend zone is when a person enjoys the attention that you're giving them
but they're not actually interested in building any kind of physical intimacy with you at all.
This usually manifests as the two of you having these long
deep conversations where you're revealing your heart and your soul
and everything about yourself but there's never any steps forward in terms of taking
it to the physical level where the two of you are hanging out one-on-one in person.
You might have even asked them to hang out but they're just not interested.
They're always too busy, something comes up,
or they'd rather hang out as a group with lots of other people there.
If you feel like you're in this place with the person that you
like the best thing that you can do is to be clear about how you feel.
They recognize you as a friend but if that's not really all you want with them
you need to be clear about that.
Let them know that you like them and you want to build on that connection.
So what if they're not interested in hanging out and communication just sucks?
They never respond to your messages, they never say hi to you whenever you see them in person,
this stage is called the time-waster because you're wasting your time
pursuing someone that has no interest in you at all.
At least in the feedback friend zone, the two of you are communicating but if you're in this
time waster spot you're not even being led on because the person is just not really displaying
any signs that could be confusing in any way.
If you feel like you're pursuing someone that's giving you nothing to work with not
only in cases where you've had zero interaction with them but also cases where you message them
and they just never respond back or if you see them in person they just totally ignore you,
the best thing for you to do is to put that person on the back burner.
You deserve someone that's worthy of your time and attention and if
this person is just not willing to give that to you then okay,
stop investing so much of your energy into it and really start looking for new potential prospects.
Now one odd stage you might run into is that they're open
to hanging out with you but they just really suck at communication.
This is the zone known as the time filler.
Basically what they're doing is they're hanging out with you because they're bored.
They're looking for a way to pass the time and you just happen to be the person that fits the bill.
The problem with this stage is that it's incredibly misleading.
The two of you are hanging out which is a good thing but the communication just isn't there.
That means that they're not really making the effort to get to know you better,
to talk more, showing genuine interest in learning more about you, and sharing more about themselves.
I would suspect that if you're here the person you're hanging out with is just
waiting for someone else more interesting to come along so the way to kind of handle
this situation is to focus on really building strong communication.
The way that you do that is by asking questions, learning more about them,
going deeper into conversation topics as well as sharing more about yourself.
The more you can kind of open up dialogue, the easier it's going to be for them to
realize wow you're actually a really cool person and I want to learn more about you.
Now obviously the best stage to be in is one in which there's
heavy communication and lots of hanging out.
If you find yourself here that doesn't mean they won't lead you on but there's a higher
likelihood that the two of you are making that conscious effort to see if you're compatible,
to see if a relationship is on the horizon, and to see if this is something worth pursuing.
If you want to cast away all doubt as to whether or not you're being led on then hanging out with
them is a good first step, talking is a good first step, but you need to make that physical move.
You need to show them that you're romantically interested in them.
That might mean going in for a kiss,
that might mean establishing whether or not you want them to be your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Take the next definitive step beyond just hanging out if you want to actually have it go somewhere.
So now that we have an understanding of all four areas if you look at the full chart put
together you can see that if you're on that left side in the yellow areas you probably have a
higher likelihood of being let on compared to the blue side where there's a lower chance overall.
Being in the bottom left corner means you're going to have the highest chance of getting led on
compared to the top right corner where you have the lowest chance.
All in all, that's just to say this is hypothetical.
We're purely speculating.
A person can lead you on at any stage of the interaction so the
best thing you can do is be as open as you can,
communicate how you feel, and move things forward to see if this is the person for you.
Now if you're someone that is constantly getting overwhelmed
by mixed signals from the person that you like.
Do they like you?
Do they not like you?
What did they say when they meant this?
Why are they texting every other day?
All these different confusing pieces, check out the video over there on the side where I'm going
to break down how to read and interpret different mixed signals from your crush.
I think that video is going to kind of ease some of the tension and help calm your mind.
So check it out and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.