I walked into a movie theater to see Everything Everywhere All At Once
expecting a genre bending multiverse movie infused with many interlocking
layers of philosophical and cultural meaning
And I was not disappointed
What I was not expecting however was to witness one of the most challenging and
subversive representations of masculinity that I’ve ever seen in any genre
In order to explain what I mean we’ll need to shift the focus away
from the film’s protagonist, played by the incredible Michelle Yeoh
and over to the character of her husband played by actor Ke Huy Quan
Ke became famous as a child actor in the 1980s for the roles as
Short Round in the Temple of Doom and Data in The Goonies
Despite that early success, he couldn’t find many opportunities for
a young Asian American actor in Hollywood
So he eventually quit acting altogether
In his triumphant return to the big screen, after nearly two decades
he's brought to life a truly extraordinary example of empathetic manhood
If you were to only watch the first half of Everything Everywhere All At Once
the idea that Waymond Wang could be an avatar for positive masculinity would
seem a little strange
Evelyn: Sometimes I wonder how he would have survived without me
When we first meet Waymond, in his original incarnation
he appears to be sweet, almost childlike, but ultimately naive
Evelyn: She puts a lean on our laundromat and you know what your father does?
Evelyn: He brings her cookies!
A goofy, silly, bumbling father whose marriage is in the process of failing
Evelyn: No more google eyes!
He’s timid, conflict averse, and perfectly content to let his wife run their business
Waymond: We'll talk later?
These traits are often associated with a range of familiar subordinate male
archetypes in Hollywood media
In interviews, directing duo Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert
referred to collectively as Daniels have said they wanted to turn
a “beta male” character into a hero
Daniel Scheinert: We needed someone who was convincingly sweet, kind of beta male,
Daniel Scheinert: who you'd almost laugh at and dismiss
That in and of itself isn’t unusual, most movie heroes begin their journey as
someone decidedly un-super, who then grows in power over time
Mary Jane: Wow!
Waymond is different
What’s remarkable is that the filmmakers managed to turn him into a hero
without giving him his own character arc
Waymond: Evelyn?
Waymond: What's going on?
He doesn’t gain any new powers, or skills, or learn to fight
Waymond: Everyone stay calm! I think it's time for a family discussion
All the other characters evolve in transformative ways
over the course of the film, as you’d expect
but Waymond doesn’t change
He is essentially the same character at the end of the movie
that he was at the very beginning
On a fundamental storytelling level that shouldn’t really work.
Incredibly, the Daniels manage to make Waymond, and his empathic worldview
the anchor point around which everything else in the movie ultimately bends
Before we explore how they pulled off that impressive narrative trick, it’s important
to note that the entire concept of alpha and beta males as related to human men
is pure pseudoscience nonsense
Dolittle: The strongest male is called the alpha male
Dolittle: The alpha male is the big boss, he wants everybody to know
Dolittle: he's the boss male. You have to be him. The boss of all the males!
The very idea that animal behavior can be neatly mapped on to the complexities of
human society is absurd
Sheldon: When I fail to open this jar and you succeed
Sheldon: it will establish you as the alpha male
Still, the erroneous myth persists and is perpetuated in popular culture
Gray: Who's the alpha?
Owen: You're looking at him kid
Sheldon: That's not surprising, this is something I long ago came to peace
Sheldon: with in my role as the beta male
So let’s talk very briefly about how terms like “beta male” are typically used
because I think that’s what the Daniels are attempting to subvert
in the character of Waymond
Marty: That's him
In fiction we expect this type of character to be a pushover, a doormat
a man who lets other more dominant men walk all over him
Goyle: Watch where you're going Longbottom
Classmate: I have a question
Classmate: My wife says I'm a pushover but what if deep down inside
Classmate: I'm really just a nice guy?
If there’s a wife involved the guy usually falls into the old Henpecked Husband trope
Mrs. Daffy: Haul your anchor lose of that chair and get busy with the house chores
wherein a long-suffering man submits to the demands of a controlling overbearing wife
Madeline: Could you just not breathe?
This subordinate put-upon man is often a comedic figure
and he’s been around for as long as Hollywood itself.
When men, like Waymond, are presented as too nice, too vulnerable,
Classmate: Don't even think about it
or too accommodating
it’s framed as a significant obstacle to him being taken seriously as a real man
This media pattern has been especially common
in stereotypical depictions of the meek often de-sexualized Asian man
Jock: You Know karate? Takashi: no
Jock: Good
Male characters who refuse to fight, or refuse to fight back
are nearly always mocked as weak, effeminate, or cowardly
Dave: Do something, stand up for yourself! Hit him back
Dave: Link, hit him back. Where are you going?
Leonard: I'm going to assert my dominance face-to-face
Of course subordinate male characters only exist in relation to the equally fictional
myth of the “alpha man"
Waymond: Wow, what a fast elevator!
In Everything Everywhere All At Once
our original Waymond is juxtaposed with another version of himself from another universe
Alpha Waymond: I told you to stay low and out of sight!
Alpha Waymond: I'm not your husband, at least not the one you know
Alpha Waymond: I'm another version of him from another life path, another universe
Alpha Waymond: This is where I am from - The Alphaverse
Alpha Waymond is shown to be assertive, demanding, and aggressive
Initially the audience is just as enamored with this new Waymond as Evelyn appears to be
Alpha Waymond: Every rejection, every disappointment has lead you here
It turns out however that Alpha Waymond isn’t exactly all he’s cracked up to be
He’s controlling, impatient, quick to violence, and distrustful of others
He builds Evelyn up, tells her she’s the most important person in the whole multiverse
then abandons her the moment she doesn’t live up to his expectations
Alpha Waymond: I'm sorry Evelyn. I need to go
Evelyn: What?
Alpha Waymond: I need to find the right Evelyn. And this one...
Alpha Waymond: is not the one
Evelyn: No no. Wait! Let me try again!
Evelyn: Alpha Waymond?
Alpha Waymond is just using Evelyn
as indeed all the Alphas are in their attempt to "Make the Alphaverse Great Again"
Alpha Waymond: This is the Alphaverse mission
Alpha Waymond: to take us back to how it's supposed to be
If Everything Everywhere all at Once were a normal movie with normal character acs,
our original Waymond would essentially turn into Alpha Waymond by the end of the story
He’d learn to temper his sensitivity with an unhealthy dose of aggression
thus transforming from the sweet naive guy who won’t even kill a bug
to a domineering dude who takes out a room full of security guards to protect his wife
He might even be given a cathartic “finally grew a spine” moment
where he loudly demands a divorce
Stu: Because whatever this is ain't working for me!
Stu: Let's do this!
This type of hypermasculine transformation is a supertrope in storytelling
This is how pop culture reinforces the myth
that the correct way to be a man is to be aggressive, intimidating and
most importantly to dominate others
It’s not an exaggeration to say some that kind of power fantasy
underpins the origin story of most male heroes in media
But Everything Everywhere all at Once is anything but a typical movie
As the story progresses the audience experiences an epiphany
Evelyn: My silly husband
Evelyn: probably making things worse
We realize our initial impression of Waymond was completely wrong
Deirdre: Okay, you can let her go
We share this realization with Evelyn
as she suddenly sees her “silly husband” in a new light
Waymond isn’t actually passive or submissive
He’s been quietly proactive throughout the movie
Waymond: Everything is going to be okay
Constantly striving to smooth things over with the tax auditor in order to save their laundromat
Evelyn: Oh, tomorrow is better-
Waymond: Ah ah thank you thank you. 6pm. Thank you so much!
Deirdre: Thank you for the cookies
He’s not getting what he wants out of his marriage so he’s taking steps to change it
The divorce was his idea after all
part of his desperate plan to salvage their relationship
Waymond: I wanted to star off the new year on a new foot
And he does all of that while also expressing vulnerability
and attempting to balance his needs with the feelings of others
In short, he knows what he wants and he never stops trying to get it
he just doesn’t do it in a domineering way
Waymond: I know you're all fighting because you're scare and confused
Waymond: I'm confused too
Waymond’s worldview is articulated in this powerful speech about 2/3rds of the way through the film
Waymond: The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind
His words echo those of Sonmi 451 from Cloud Atlas
Sonmi 451: And by each crime and every kindness
Sonmi 451: we birth our future
Waymond: Please be kind
Waymond: especially when we don't know what's going on
If you heard it in the real world Waymond’s plea to “be kind”
could come across as...
Waymond: Be kind
...a little cliché or at best unrealistic
Evelyn: It's too late Waymond
So I think it’s useful to break down exactly what he means when he says “be kind”
For him kindness is not putting on blinders
ignoring the negative, or being fake nice
Waymond: Think about it, unless it's an emergency, whenever I try to talk to you
Waymond: you always get pulled away
Waymond manifests kindness through patience, communication, and empathy
Waymond: Ah, sorry, my wife confuses her hobbies for businesses
Waymond: An honest mistake
And the movie presents all of those traits as useful pragmatic skills
This brings us to Business Waymond
a version of the character from a divergent timeline where he and Evelyn
never got married. This Waymond defends original Waymond’s perspective
without of course knowing that’s what he’s doing since he’s unaware of the multiverse
Business Waymond: You think I'm weak, don't you?
He’s speaking directly to the audience, as much as he is to Evelyn
when admonishing us for our previous assumptions about him
Business Waymond: When I choose to see the good side of things
Business Waymond: I'm not being naive
Business Waymond: It is strategic and necessary
Business Waymond: It's how I've learned to survive through everything
In reality, he’s not naive
He understands the oppressive nature of the world
but chooses to fight back in his own way...
Waymond: Can't we just stop fighting!
...with empathy joy and hope
Business Waymond: This is how I fight
It’s interesting to note that although Business Waymond should be considered
the pinnacle of success, we don’t envy him
Business Waymond: In another life...
Business Waymond: I would have really liked...
Business Waymond: just doing laundry and taxes with you
Instead we pity him for what he never had
laundry and taxes with Evelyn as his wife in a distant universe
Waymond is the anti-cynic, the antidote to nihilism
and his worldview is represented in the film through the visual motif of googly eyes
When Evelyn finally adopts his perspective
she affixes a third googly eye to her forehead
This marks the moment where the Daniels flip the action movie genre on its head
Waymond’s worldview runs counter to the underlying message
in almost all action movies
the reductive notion that violence can solve all conflicts
regardless of the circumstances
Waymond: Evelyn! Evelyn please, no more!
Waymond understands that the way to ultimately win against a stronger oppressive force
is to create a situation where the foot-soldiers of the powerful refuse to keep fighting you
Waymond: What are you doing?
Evelyn: I'm learning to fight like you
As noted eloquently in the book The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber and David Wengrow
“Revolutions are rarely won in open combat.
When revolutionaries win, it’s usually because the bulk of those sent to crush them refuse to shoot,
or just go home.”
And this is precisely what happens in Everything Everywhere all at Once
Evelyn uses her new found multiversal power
to learn why each of her opponents is hurting inside
and then she gives them what’s missing
After which, one by one, they all lose interest in trying to fight her
Violence doesn’t solve this conflict, it can’t
because the enemy is a cynical nihilistic bagel devouring love and meaning
and everything else
Empathy is what solves it. As it must
Notice that even though he’s pivotal to the film’s resolution
Waymond’s masculinity doesn’t require him to become an action guy
He doesn’t need to take center stage or fix the problem himself
Waymond is content to inspire his wife
and then stand back and support her while she wins the day
It’s particularly important that this depiction of transcendent masculinity
is embodied by an asian man
As Chris Kranadi pointed out in his Stale article about Waymond’s character
“It’s a rare depiction of an Asian male lead that not only rejects and deconstructs Hollywood’s
stereotypes of them but also serves as a necessary evolution for Asian representation in cinema.”
At the beginning of this video I said that Waymond doesn’t have a character arc
well it turns out that by the time the credits roll
it’s us the audience who’ve been given a character arc
Over the course of the film, our perspective has shifted so dramatically
that we’ve come to understand Waymond
and more importantly to embrace his revolutionary worldview.
This shift in perspective also reframes the social expectations
Hollywood so often places on masculinity
Like kindness, empathy can occasionally feel ​​naive or ethereal
just a pretty, empty word with little to reinforce it
Especially in difficult times like ours
I’d argue though that what Waymond advocates is actionable empathy
It’s empathy that you don’t wait around for
it’s the kind of radical empathy
that we can use to fundamentally change our reality
Jonathan: Thanks for watching. In other videos on YouTube this is where you'd see
Jonathan: a sponsorship for some sort of corporate ad but
Jonathan: we don't do that here. Everything here is 100% funded by viewers like you
Jonathan: So if you like what you see, please consider going over to Patreon to support the project there
Jonathan: I've also left some links below to help detail other ways you can help out like Paypal and there's a wishlist
Jonathan: Anything you can do to help out is much appreciated it helps keep us going and sustainable into the future
Jonathan: Quick reminder, we have a podcast as well, you can find links to that below
Jonathan: Again i really appreciate all your support. I'll see you again next time