Today my friends, we friends we venture into the unknown.
Where is it that I'm talking about?
Tumblr.
I've never been on Tumblr, I've never known anyone who uses Tumblr but it seems like it's a really big important website on the internet.
I have no idea what to expect frankly; so I'm going in.
I don't have an account, let's sign up.
Jeff Dunham Rules...69, 420 Blaze
If that's taken I will freak, I will freak out!
♬ Random feminist talking on top of spooky audio ♬
♬ Calm classical music ♬ Alright what am I into? Let's see here.
Parenting, this mom looks like she's eating this baby.
That's not even like, that's not parenting that's cannibalism; that's wrong, but I'm into that definitely.
Funny? Pft YES, Can we please get more prank GIFs please?
Can we turn this tumblr into prankgifs.tumblr.net? I'm gunna click that.
Health and fitness has always interested me personally, you guys should be able to tell that by now. *Psh*
Does having a large, voluptuous FUPA ... uhm ... entitle me to click health and fitness? I think it does.
I mean it's not GOOD health and fitness, but it's health and fitness none-the-less....uhm...anime.
Please.
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ Cute. Ah I love it.
How does this represent business? Sims meme of a business man, I mean yeah dude, yes.
♬ High tension music ♬ I think I'm ready to go! I think I'm ready to tumble! Come with me guys, on this journey together, lets get tumbled!
♬ Elevator music ♬ Building your dashboard. Ooohhh, I'm excited guys, my first time on Tumblr! Let's see here...
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ Okay so they've generated a dashboard for me, I would like to see what have they generated. Let's see.
"STAY MOTIVATED AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. SHOCK EVERYONE!" SHOCK THEM DUDE. Give your grandpa a heart attack.
Become so successful, that the next time that your elders see you they will drop dead from a heart attack. SHOCK them.
*pft* Hell yeah dawg, I like this one. I don't know why about this one, but I definitely like it a lot.
Like this one really speaks to me. And I'm gunna gi..I'm gunna like this..I'm gunna give this one a heart.
Tumblr's dope dude.
K I'm feelin' this, definitely. Some young fuckin' butt dude, showin' his thing, loving that. WHY is this guy everywhere? I get it YOU'VE GOT ABS.
I mean why is everyone on tumblr chippin' on about this guy? I've got abs. What? You don't see my on the front page of Tumblr all the time? Like what is this not good enough for the front page of Tumblr?
I don't understand why everyone's got to lose their mind over this guy just because he did a couple of fucking situps,
I checked fitness and health, by the way, on my Tumblr ... interests,
So..like big deal dawg, I mean cool dude, you did some situps. We're all fucking proud of you.
♬ Electronic Music ♬ Are you SERIOUS? More of this guy, this is like the 10th ga...It's just about this one guy.
COME ON WITH THE ABS DUDE! This is not healthy for my self-perception.
I thought Tumblr was all about body acceptance and shit, not getting ...
I'm .. I'm about to get triggered looking at this fucking guy flashing his abs every time, dude!
I'm getting triggered here, dude!
♬ Random feminist talking on top of spooky audio ♬
I have to be honest right now, Tumblr's kinda triggering me.
What is this website?
Why do you keep just showing me male models who are jacked?
What, is this all Tumblr is? It's just fucking ripped guys?
You know what?
Fuck you Tumblr
♬ Electronic Music ♬ You take your body shaming ... your body awareness shaming out the door
Okay? I'm a big, large beautiful man with a voluptuous FUPA
Who DON'T need no woman, and who DEFINITELY don't need no Tumblr
Let's look up, "FUPA". No, "Beautiful .. FUPA"
That's ... there's nothing!
This website's so racist, Hila!
There's ... all it is, is beautiful perfect male models
and when I type, "Beautiful FUPA", zero
FUPA
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ Oh, here I am. I have found myself, finally dawg
Found myself under "FUPA" ... I guess at least they recognise some beauty when they ... hear about it
"stroking out one stablised" (laughs)
That's actually pretty cool. Somebody stablised my fucking "triggered"
This is all FUPA?
It's a bunch of FUPA memes
Oh fuck, that is FUPA
That is actual FUPA right there boy, that is just
Okay
Alright, there it is, we found the FUPA guys
We found the FUPA load ;) here boys, maybe it's time to move on to a different topic huh?
It's, ah DJ Khaled's tagged under "FUPA"
"These will be for sale very soon, online"
Two words: Nice one, Khaled
"Super FUPA". That's dope, we're like taking over the "FUPA" keyword
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
That underwater FUPAmobile
It's a FUPAmobile underwater!
Ohhh man, there's a lot of FUPA here
Kinda more FUPA than I bargained for, if I'm being honest
Maybe I should've stuck with the six-pack male model abs ... on the homepage
♬ Random feminist talking on top of spooky audio ♬
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ That is not FUPA. You know what, this has no place on the FUPA page.
Can I report this? Like this is fucking bullshit, dude
♬ Random feminist talking on top of spooky audio ♬
I feel like I'm on the edge of having a stroke here from getting triggered so frequently on Tumblr
You know, I feel I've done enough exploring on FUPA. I've been triggered about 20 times
and I think for my health maybe we better change the topic ... let's type H3H3
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ That's dope, that's pretty fresh, pretty hip-hop, pretty dope
'preciate that.
Awe. I'm gonna miss Franky boy when we move back to LA.
This definitely makes me wanna go back to the days when I used to be hot and sexy, dude
Dude ... I've got such a shimmer in my eye!
Such a sweet, young man!
Boy, that one really brought the like greasy, jew-y meme inside of me.
I can feel the Morty coming off there
This ... is actually one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
"The beanie that keeps growing."
and frankly, if you guys wanna know where we are on the beanie game
I mean so far, this is the biggest one I have found
So this is the Beanie King for those of you who don't know. It's definitely far from this
which is my destiny, to have a like 50 foot beanie
But this is the closest we've got, and so far it's pretty good.
DAYUM, BOY!
Is this fucking gay fetish porn, or is this Tumblr?
Man I didn't know Tumblr had porn on it..
DAMNNN
That is fucking thicc, Hila, how'd you score an ass like that, dude?
That's sick, that's definitely the best female Ethan cosplay Vʌ I've ever seen
That is on point, girl. Hell yeah, dude.
"when mom walks in on you" [fake laugh] I get it, like I jerk off to Khaled porn, really
Like I jerk off to watching Khaled's beautiful FUPA fold smashing and slam dunking his wife
Like I sit there in a hazmat suit and just jerk off in there.
Yeah, right(!)
I definitely don't do that, ever.
Definitely, I've never jerked off to DJ Khaled. Please.
Never.
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ Woo-hoo! WHAT?
This is like the Keemstar, H3H3 ... gnomestar's best friend, Ethan
Holy Shit
Nice neck FUPA there, very nice
Wow, I'm a big fat chubby gnome in this one, boy
DAMN that's so good
The lil' undie peek?
If you guys at male fashion y'know, care about your fashion, and you wanna attract the opposite sex
The undie peek is honestly one of the most potent moves you can do
If you can just ride your shorts up high enough, and peek the boxers out just enough to entice them
to say "hey" - just that little peek, just that sexy lil' touch just at the bottom of your shorts
to say "hey, I am a serious person, but I'm also down to get a little bit weird with you,"
If you know what I'm saying.
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ So this one has ... 1.7 million loops?
Dude
I'm fucking famous on Tumblr, that's dope!
♬ Vine by JONATHAN playing ♬
[laughs] What the fuck?
Well I don't really understand it, but it's got 1.7 million loops so
I guess I'm just gonna accept that as a compliment. Thank you guys, appreciate that
Tip of the beanie to you, out there Tumblr
Oh wow, H3H3 National Anthem...
♬ "The H3H3 National Anthem" by Mp3Charlie ♬
♬ Calm Classical music ♬ So hold on, wait, I'm looking up "Ethan" and it's another guy with a six-pack
who's jacked? Tumblr, what the hell, I'm just trying to look up myself
I've already got triggered once on your homepage looking at male models, and I can't even escape...
Oh my god, I'm so fucking triggered dude, are you serious? Ethan, no!
♬ Random feminist talking on top of spooky audio ♬
♬ Sombre classical music ♬
This triggered journey through Tumblr: frankly this was my first time and I'm absolutely disgusted
by the body shaming on here. I thought this was a safe place, and I've never been triggered so much in my life.
Let me know - does Tumblr trigger you guys, like it triggers me?
'cos I have like a friggin' ... I think I lost some brain cells by shaking my head so hard
I just completely stroked out
So thank you so much for watching guys, we love ya, we appreciate you, and we will most definitely be seeing you on the next time.
ethan theme-songer