How to heal from Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse
hi beautifully to family ceremony here the breakthrough life coach nums day and
today I want to discuss a pretty important day and I'm laughing because I
say that almost every time I do a YouTube video to discuss something
really really important because of severe wounds healing is really serious
stuff so everything that has to do with healing on an in the divine level in our
heart level is pretty serious this is very serious so I received an email
early this morning from a woman who asked me a very personal question she
said I don't know why I simply just can't heal from codependency and why I'm
having such a difficult time hearing from you know being abused by a
narcissistic mom growing up and no matter what I've tried it doesn't seem
to work and I like what you're saying but i wanna know what it is
session was she was asking me I like what you're saying I can hear what
you're saying and YouTube videos and on your website but I want to know exactly
what it is that makes it so difficult to hear and I really did some thinking and
I walked away feeling like when you are living in a state of survival of narcissistic abuse
you have to rely on Flickr thing about being a newborn and what does a newborn
baby have to rely on a newborn baby has to rely on its five senses in order to
survive and if you think about a three year old who has a drug addict or a
crack at it from mom or my mom has got to go to friday or whatever or dad who's
an alcoholic without whatever you have a region all attorneys you live in a
domestically violent home which is terrible I told her so let's say you
this little three-year-old baby are you living in this crazy chaotic all what do
you have to rely on you only have your instincts your five senses when we are
in favor of people who were at war and war they have to rely on they have their
five instincts to rely on so when you're living in a state of survival it's
absolutely impossible for you to heal because
to heal you need to look within to find peace peace comes from within it sounds
so cliché and I've heard so many people ask you why can't I find peace walk on
can I find happiness why can't I find contentment and you know have pretty
smart people so you gotta look within you've gotta find it within how and why
can't I access it why can't I why can't I find that peace and i'm looking for
you can't find the piece that you're looking for it if you'll still living in
the state of survival which is why I'm so crazy and Ahmed about spreading the
news about codependency codependency implies that I am stuck on something
outside of myself for a sense of happiness or sense of peace or I'm stuck
thinking that the reason I'm stock is because of something that's happening
outside of me when you really believe you can see here for codependency part
of the process and I teachers and she teach this might well we break through
coaching program a big part of the process is learning to say okay I bought
this house with a leaky basement and now it sucks but I have to roll up my
sleeves and I have to fix it so those of you have been following my work and you
understand that this is all a result of childhood programming and Fulton belief
systems and learning to leave is something that's just not true you know
you begin to understand that at some point as crappy as that reality is we
have to learn to take responsibility for what's in the basement which is our
subconscious mind and we've gotta learn to negotiate on a conscious level what's
happening in the subconscious mind and that's what I teach that's my twelve we
break through coaching program teaches at my book throwback to me help you
become aware of and the number of books I've written since then so how do I it's
he in the sense of peace but we have to take we can attend that we have to
attend the sense of peace by first understanding what's wrong so one of the
ways that we teach kids how to tie their shoes is we watch what they're doing
wrong and then we say no
johnnie try it this way or Susie try it this way and that's when we begin to
understand that there's a better way of doing something but if we don't ever
learn what we're doing wrong we can't fix it and I believe something magical
happens in the brain when you show it where where the blockages so if the
brain has a bunch nor is a bunch of neural pathways when awareness says to
the shows as you're able to use your awareness to see there's the blockage I
was living in the state of survival
you know I'm still living in the state of survival you know I'm still still
living in a state of survival
meaning I'm co-dependent because I'm still thinking on an unconscious level
that I am I need something outside of myself to bring me peace
hence the linchpin depends so I believe it car-dependent are living in the state
of survival and those of us were not heal from narcissistic abuse are still
living in the state of survival because we're still dependent upon something
outside of ourself for that sense of happiness and that sense of belonging
that that need to rely on consciously just functionally to rely on something
outside of self keeps me focused on the focus on the external world I want an
excellent I'm extremely focused what you can find a piece that's within can find
a piece i cant access the pieces within me that's why sometimes the best thing
that can happen is going on no contact with narcissistic abuse of peaceful
people that's why the best advice on time is to withdraw your attention from
the external world so that you are doing now you don't have an excuse as to seek
other people's validation because now in the quiet that's why people go on
retreat they're looking to find the quiet but when you're pregnant you take
all of your problems with you so you can go away for a month you can go in for
six months but if you're still co-dependent and we haven't healed the
unconscious belief systems are taking all the chaos with you do one so you
might be able to attain a sense of peace for temporarily in Bali or India where
the hell you gonna go chill with us please you know
you might be able to do that go for a spot weekend but when you're
co-dependent when you step back into your life than all those problems come
back so-called advantage codependency tennessean and and means that you're
living in a state of Iowa still to some degree because you co-dependent on the
idea that something outside of you is keeping you from attending the peace
from within heal narcissistic wounds
so so many of us have a difficult time finding that inner peace because we are
living in states of survival and we're relying on our five senses where we are
attached to something else out of ourselves and in the attachment to
something outside of myself we are actually pulled off course we're pulled
away from the Divine Self and when were attached to things that are out here
even if it's an idea like I'm not good enough or I'm stupid or not interesting
and i cant i cant you know I have conversations with other people people
think I'm stupid I'm afraid they don't think I'm stupid even that is a
co-dependent idea because you're co-dependent on the idea that something
outside of yourself is preventing you from enjoying the peace that from that
is within so I hope that answers is just brilliant question and I hope that it
has helped some of you get a little bit clearer about why it is peace might be
is keeping you because really its peak pieces within you but when you're
extremely fixated and you're relying on your five senses because you still
living in the state of survival or you co-dependent which means you're
extremely focused until you start cutting the ties those psych accords to
any idea any false illusion that has you believing that you need someone else's
validation or any idea that someone else has absolutely has control of your
vibration because they don't you know you can learn to control a masculine
preparation i talked about that and quantum tools to help you heal your life
now the more you cut those cords in those ideas to cut those drinks
dysfunction ideas that were able you will be to experience piece by learning
to look within and in the quiet and in the turning away of everything that's
external you reconnect your codependency and narcissistic abuse
act with the divinity that's within you because you are born of Divinity one
more thing I want to add you know for those of you who follow my work you know
that I'm not religious but and I will take like I said with them anywhere I
get it you know anywhere I can find with them you know a tree or are you name it
you know and I think proper like narcissus like you to try to talk to a
narcissistic I talked into iraq you know you like try to china bowl the rock you
don't try to try to get iraq to see your point of view so even in in in looking
at a rock you can learn like nurses that's why I feel like this every time I
try to connect you can ever try to connect with the rock so you can learn
new one but you know recently I had a client who had a lot of trouble with
with the idea of getting a divorce because she felt like God has ordained
this marriage and she keep her very was a baptist background from that mistake
forgive me if I've got the religion wrong but it was a baptist background
and she wanted to get divorce was very unhappy and and she felt like she was
married to a narcissistic and she felt much happier when she said she wasn't
with them which is a big clue at a really big clue but anyway so scriptures
being found out her like what God has brought together let no man separate her
husband said thanks to her like what I take my wedding bells very seriously we
have three kids look what you doin to the kids you know you're being selfish
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and you know like I always do I asked my
clients you know can I give you my interpretation of that scripture sure
she said sure it and I said to her I feel that the union that is being spoken
about in the Bible has nothing to do with marriage in my opinion I think that
the union or the scripture that refers to god as we're together let no man
separate describes the female egg and milk and God brings that together
because God Creator LifeSource if you don't like the word God Creator source
whatever Lisa A ROmano life coach
intelligence what Infinite Creator
infinite intelligence even Max Planck and einstein believed in this infinite
spirit this incident intelligence if you don't believe me look at all they did
you know so they even humble themselves that any any basically any scientist at
that is really seriously involved with with how this world you know God created
will ultimately come to the conclusion that there is a master designer of it
all and that there's a field that we all communicate and it's just obvious but
we've got as we're together let no man separate my opinion is the egg the
female and male sperm and it is that point of creation and there's a great
video out there that one of my clients also sent to me and it's a video of how
of what happens at a cellular level when a sperm fertilizes and they're literally
looks like the Big Bang you can actually see light happen there's an explosion
it's so beautiful do when you're sober you are so incredible you are due on the
fact that you hear zone miracle really seriously so I believe that our programs
separate us from what God brought together we are born we forget our
divinity we don't remember that were connected to source an extension of
course we forget so anything that helps you reconnect with the divine source
within you that helps you to detach from the external to help that helps you to
get out of living in the state of survival will ultimately bring you to a
place in your life where you understand that it's not your fault that you have
unconscious program and the man of the program or the world of Caesar was done
to you that you at your core perfect it's not your fault that your divine and
that anything that happens out of the program is a byproduct that's the effect
but but the cause was not your fault as we approach these ideas we begin to heal
the shame that buying so much so many of us like John broad branch or so
brilliantly love him i mean those of you who are struggling which came from
dysfunctional families I do suggest you check out his work is just really really
got some really good out there to Delia trial but in a nutshell in a nutshell
your 10 perfect and any any idea that has kept us from believing that is of
the world of Caesar or all of the maternal world the material world like
Eckhart Tolle talks about these superficial melody of the world it's all
BS it's all nonsense you're perfect I don't care for eight hundred pounds
4,000 pounds or twenty pounds I don't care what color you are if you've got
purple hair and green here you at the moment of your conception became enough
an extension of all that is so learn to understand what went wrong and if you're
living in a state of survival understand that that's preventing you from becoming
peaceful so you want to work on work at healing from codependency you wanna work
out any idea any type of what was me that's going on I can't move ahead
because of this person I can't move ahead because of my race or I can't move
ahead because of my age and I can't have that because whatever I'm a woman and I
can't do that because I'm a man that's as a man thinketh so is he you know
whether you think you can or you can't you're right not because you can't have
stuff just because you've told your brain you can and your brain is such a
thing that it passed to believe it has to work with whatever information you
give it so if you have fallen if you you you know the majors if you take the pill
that has you believing that you must be like everyone else then your brain is
sort of like a computer it's just going to take direction from there so you are
the ultimate programmer but you can't program your brain your computer until
you have until your Xperia where innocent expanded which is why I make
these YouTube videos and I do what I do and I write my books and I create
coaching programs it's all because I'm trying to help people awaken and become
more where their own self so that they can successfully confront any narcissistic abuse recovery
dysfunctional patterns within then that has them believing that they are not
enough as they are and once you know that your enough is but a small increase
in this is that surrounds you guess what you hear from codependency and you can
look within and guess what you find I'm getting goosebumps you find that you
were perfect and it is a moment of integration of goose bumps like crazy it
is such a beautiful moment of integration and it's like being born
again all over again not a studio ones about the love in the light in you
oh and by the way my latest book has just been published co-dependent now
what its not you its programming it's actually a workbook that you can use to
help you heal from all these ideas
imagine that I almost forgot not day by
Heal from codependency and narcissistic abuse