- Alright, we're off.
- [Both Men] Chicken Watch 2K15.
- We're gonna find the best rotisserie chicken
at any grocery store chain in Los Angeles.
- Rubric:
skin, dark meat, light meat, "wow factor".
- Oh yeah, "wow factor".
If you look at this chicken and you're like--
- [Both Men] "Wow!"
- Bonus points if you can take the leg or the wing
and flick it, and the meat comes off.
- Okay, alright.
- Read off some chicken facts?
Poke your head through here.
- "Alektrophobia, fear of chickens."
- Woah!
Who could be afraid of chickens?
- So we're in a mediocre strip mall.
There's a Radio Shack here,
so that should tell you about how up to date
this strip mall is, but who knows?
We're at the Jons Marketplace.
- [Keith] This one's made at 8:30.
That one's made at 8:30.
Well, that's it.
- Chicken Watch 2K15.
- The chicken doesn't look very good.
If I had to describe this chicken in one word,
it would be (slurps)
- This skin is nightmarish.
- [Keith] Cheers? Cheers. - [Chris] Cheers.
It's delicious.
I'm very impressed,
because it looks like it's gonna be the worst thing.
Also, this one's five hours old.
- It's a little chewy.
- A little chewy.
- [Chris] Flick test.
Ooh.
$6.99.
- $6.99.
- Jons looks straight out of a zombie apocalypse,
yet this chicken is okay,
so I'm gonna give it the "wow factor".
- Let's go to Vons.
(sniffing)
- "Chicken sperm can survive in a hen up to 32 days."
- 32 days?
Damn!
- Chickens are sexual beasts. - [Keith] Yeah.
- You guys, this isn't just Vons.
This is Vons Hollywood.
- [Chris] Oh wow.
- [Store clerk] Do you want a hot one?
- [Kieth] Oh yeah!
Dude, that's perfect! - [Chris] Wow!
- [Keith] Thank you very--
- [Store clerk] Welcome to Vons, fuck Ralphs.
- [Keith] Woo! - [Chris] Yeah! Right!
- Yeah! Chicken Watch 2K15!
- [Chris] Wow!
- [Keith] What's going on there?
- It looks like somebody grabbed some.
- Somebody had some of it.
Oh my god, that skin is amazing.
- That's the best skin.
- I could eat that chicken skin all day.
It feels so moist. - [Chris] Oh my god.
How's the dark meat?
- Not as impressive as everything else has been.
- It's still really good.
I can't even flick it, 'cause it--
- So does that mean it passes?
- Yeah it passes, 'cause it's so tender
I pulled both legs out without trying.
- Vons not only gets the "wow factor"
because of the taste of the chicken,
but also because the guy brought it right out to us,
was really friendly. - [Keith] Yeah.
- And also said, "Fuck Ralphs".
- $7.99.
- $7.99. $7.99. - [Chris] $7.99.
- Let's pack this up and move on to Albersons.
- [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15!
- Man, chicken always in the mood.
Right up to Vons,
right out to Whole Foods.
- Throw another fact down, Shane.
- "Eating makes a chicken get hot."
- [Keith] None of these have timestamps.
- No timestamps? - [Keith] No timestamps.
- [Chris] Well, what're we supposed to do?
- [Keith] I guess we just guess.
Aw yeah. - [Chris] This one's black.
- [Keith] This one spent some time at the beach.
- I am not a fan of that. - [Keith] Too brown.
It's very flavorful.
- [Chris] It's like naturally shredding.
- [Keith] It becomes strings.
You could knit a sweater outta this shit.
- The flavor's really good.
- But the texture's not perfect.
- [Both men] Ohh!
- No "wow factor". - [Chris] No "wow factor".
- I did think it looked sexy.
- So I get one sexy nod, too?
- Yeah, price was $7.99.
Let's pack it in.
- Chicken? I'm thinkin' Roscoe's.
Oh chicken, no, you thinkin'--
- [Both men] Costco's!
- ♫ Chicken Watch 2K15 ♫
- "Chickens can be cannibalistic."
- Oh fuck!
- "Debeaking helps them not be cannibals."
- So we're pulling up to Costco right now,
which is a membership only store.
And we do not have Costco memberships.
Are going to Costco?
- [Chirs] We're making a video about chicken around the city
and we wanna try the one from Costco,
but we don't have Costco cards.
- Okay, just come-- - [Chris] Can we walk with you?
Hell yeah.
- [Keith] ♫ Chicken Watch 2K15 ♫
Wow.
- Thoughts?
- Skin does look crispy.
- Ooh! - That's really good skin.
- Now we try the white meat.
- I think it tastes good.
- I feel like garlic something, something else, you know?
- What do you expect?
- Now, so we try the dark meat.
- It's like standard.
Okay. - [Keith] A little bit.
- [Woman] Some came off mine. - [Keith] We got some.
- Here's the thing.
It's definitely not getting the "wow factor".
- It has big breasts.
Sexy nod. - See! See!
We were just talking about-- - Sexy nod.
- Chickens are really small, right?
- Right.
- Chicken breasts are like the size of human breasts.
- It was $4.99.
Really we ought to thank my mother-in-law,
'cause that was my Christmas gift.
Costco membership. - Wow.
- [Group] Chicken Watch 2K15.
- [Woman] 15.
- We're on our way to Whole Foods?
I feel like I just now am experiencing
a little bit of chicken fatigue.
'Cause we've had so much salt. - [Chris] I'm feeling a little
chicken fatigue.
Whole Foods.
Everyone in Whole Foods in Los Angeles is really hot.
Or hippies.
- This chicken in $14.
This chicken is $9.
- We should probably get the organic chicken.
I got kombucha in my beard.
That's a pretty good lookin' chick.
Skin.
- It's fine.
- You wanna be called "flavor buds"?
- Yeah, we should be "flavor buds"!
- I'm not even focusing anymore.
I'm just eating.
- This white meat, though, is leaner.
- There's something free range-y about it.
- This is the best dark meat so far.
- It's like together.
It has its shit together.
I dunno, that's hard.
That's a hard flick test.
I don't think Whole Foods gets the "wow factor".
- No.
- Because you're like, "You better be good,
"you're $13.99."
I don't know if you saw all the moms in there,
but they got the Chris Sexy Mom Nod.
- Woah, boy!
I saw some sexy old ladies, too!
- (groans) I'm so full.
- ♫ Finger lickin' chicken, put it into your mouth ♫
- You gonna give these kids some chicken?
Talk about chickens without the words breasts
or cock being brough up.
- Or thigh, or leg.
- Nobody wants a chicken brain.
- We're going to Sprouts.
Have you ever been to a Sprouts?
- No.
I'm so tired.
I need some vegetables.
(sighs)
- [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15.
- 2K.
- I didn't take into account
how all this chicken would make us feel.
- [Keith] Wow.
- [Chris] Wow, it's a chicken.
- This skin doesn't look right at all.
But it's amazing.
- It's really good.
- Whoa. Whoa. - [Chris] Holy shit!
It's the best dark meat, too.
- Yeah.
- [Chris] Ohh.
- It's right there, it's like in-between--
There you go. "Wow factor"?
I mean, I'm blown away. - [Chris] After abs...
- Wow! - [Keith] I'm fucking wowing!
- I was sick of chicken.
What was the price there?
$6.99, right? - [Keith] Fuckin' so cheap.
What if I drink a little bit of chicken juice?
- Keith.
- Ooh! Ooh!
Chris, a wishbone!
- Oh yes!
- This is the best rotisserie chicken I've had so far.
- I feel like we have a winner hands down.
So what do we do to celebrate?
- There's a Chuck E. Cheese's across the street.
- [Both men] Yes!
- Don't let the spiders eat the butterfly!
(playful orchestral music)
- [Both men] Yeah!
(laughing)
- [Chris] We did it! - [Keith] That was awesome!
(cheering)
- If you haven't had your chicken yet,
we hope one day, you find your Sprouts.
- And honestly, no matter what year it is,
in our hearts, it's always...
- [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15.
- "If a rooster is not present in a flock of hens,
"a hen will often take the role, stop laying,
"and begin to crow."
- [Keith] Wow. - [Chris] That's kinda neat.
- Will it start producing sperm and grow a dick?