I haven't seen you for a while.
It's great seeing you.
Nice to see you.
And this was something you were just
talking about the last time I saw you, and now it's out.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
So what a year that you have had.
18 months ago, you were a school teacher.
Yep.
And your whole life just changed.
Yeah, it sure did.
Yeah.
Did not see that coming.
No, no.
Well, you weren't dating him at all.
Well, you were dating him, but it
didn't look like he was going to run for president.
No, and on our first date, which I talked about in the book,
like I was so tired of bad dates,
I remember on the first date being like I
might be too forthcoming.
Because I was like, what's your plan for the next five
years of your life, right?
And he's like trying to just have a beer with me.
And I didn't mean it politically.
But I definitely did not see a presidential campaign coming.
Right.
And it really did change your life in major ways.
In the book, you share a lot of your struggles that you've had.
Were you scared to be that honest?
Yeah, because in politics, you were just not
supposed to be vulnerable.
I think a lot of people in politics and in public life
in general think that vulnerability somehow
makes you weak.
And when I was out on the trail, I
would talk about my experiences with medical debt, student
debt, being a first generation college student.
I even open up about sexual assault on the campaign trail
and in the book.
And I found that when you talk about those really hard things,
it helps other people feel less alone.
And so, at first, I was so confused about
who to be on the campaign trail, then
I realized I'm just myself.
And if I talk about all of these sticky, confusing,
heartbreaking things, then other people
feel a connection to somebody else.
They feel less alone.
It builds them up.
But putting it in a book to send out to the world
was a little nerve racking.
Yeah, but I'm glad you did, because like you said,
it's really important for people to see
that we all have something that we're struggling with.
And I thank you for mentioning me in the book.
That's very sweet.
So you grew up in North Michigan, very conservative
family, and there's a story in here, you never really fit in.
Explain what you were doing inside while your brother
was outside.
No, yeah, so my brothers were probably like skinning a deer
or chopping wood.
It was like a very hyper masculine environment,
and I was usually like dusting cabinets and reenacting
My Heart Will Go On while my mother was folding laundry.
You know, when you come out, and you're like,
the hints were there.
They said they didn't know.
But I was like black sheep, like did not blend in at all.
Yeah, no.
Now when you're singing Celine Dion at a young age dusting
cabinets and your brothers out there hunting, it's--
Yeah, they're like, he's different, special.
But the thing was my family didn't have the language
for what it meant to be gay.
And I mentioned you in the book because you were
the first gay person I knew.
You were on television.
You know, I'd come home from school
and my mom would watch you.
And I remembered thinking this monster inside of me, right?
This gay demon that is eating me alive inside that everyone,
like society, my government is telling me you are twisted,
you are wrong.
But my mom's watching you on television.
And she likes you.
And she's laughing at you.
And it gave me a little sliver of hope that maybe,
just maybe it won't be so bad.
Yeah, well, thanks.
Everybody needs representation, you know.
We need to show everybody on television that that is the way
to start conversations.
You were so scared to tell your grandmother.
I know you adored your grandmother.
I mean, I think that's the story for most people, Portia.
Everyone was scared to tell her grandmother at the time, too.
So tell that story.
And it was the hardest part of the book
to write because when you--
I mean, the bad boyfriends, the breakups, the homophobia,
I mean, that stuff is like I've had enough therapy
to work through that stuff.
But we lost my grandma a few months after Peter
and I were married.
And she was our staunchest ally.
But when I came out, the general consensus
was do not tell grandma, it will break her heart.
And it was eating me alive that this person I loved so much
didn't know this thing about me.
And I think it was Thanksgiving.
And I asked her if we could go out to her car and talk.
And you know, I was watching her rosary hanging
from the rearview mirror, and I just said, grandma,
I have to tell you something.
And I lost it.
And she reached over, and she wore all these really sharp,
big rings.
And they just dug into my hand as she
was gripping my hand so tight when she said, I know,
and I love you just the same.
That's what you want.
She must have seen you singing Celine Dion songs.
I mean, that must have been the tip off.
And you also talk about one of your first dates with Pete
to go to the White House and you saw the Obamas.
Yeah, so dating Pete, I feel like an imposter.
I do not belong in these spaces.
He asked if I owned a suit.
I did not.
I had never owned a suit in my life.
He bought me a suit.
He takes me to Washington to go to the White House Christmas
party.
And you know, the Obamas come in.
They say some hellos.
And then they're starting to shake hands and whatnot.
And Pete said, go up there.
Go say hi.
I cannot say hi to the president and the first lady.
He encourages me.
And so I finally start working my way through the crowd.
And I'm reaching my arm over the guy in front of me
to shake his hand.
And then some jerk comes barreling in
behind me trying to shake his hand as well.
And he just knocks me off my balance.
And I turn around, I'm like who did that jerk move.
And as my arms extended, I feel President Obama's hand
touched mine.
And I turn around and I recoil.
I don't know why.
And then I realized, mid recoil, that I
am recoiling from the President of the United States.
So I stopped and I grabbed his pointer finger
and I just shook it so vigorously and I was like,
Merry Christmas, Mr President.
And he looked at me and he goes, yes.
I just figured they would go to bed that night, [INAUDIBLE]..
I just had that image of you holding--
[LAUGHS] We have to take a break, Chasten.
We'll be back.
We're back with Chasten Buttigieg,
who has a book I Have Something to Tell You,
which is funny and informative and important.
And you say that your life will never be normal again.
But you're OK with that.
Yeah, I mean, it's weird when people
catch you smelling deodorant at Target
and want to take a photo of you.
But also, you have a platform.
And people are paying attention to what you have to say.
And in a way, I feel like now I get
to be a person I wish I would've had when I was younger.
I'm sure it comes with some awkwardness
and it comes with some stress.
But I want to make sure that I use the most of that moment.
And it's such a blessing to be able to show up
for people in a way that I wish I would
have seen when I was younger.
Yeah, and you are making a difference for just
like you seeing me on television made a difference.
People seeing you is going to make a difference.
And since you do have that platform
and you have kind of learned a lot in a crash course
with your husband running for president,
and we have the election less than two weeks away,
what do you have to say?
Well, please vote.
I feel like we always say this is
the most consequential election of our lifetimes
but it truly is.
And I know some people are wringing their hands
and thinking that their vote doesn't really
impact their life, but think about all
of the other lives that are impacted by your privilege
to vote.
Think of every person's life who can be improved
if we make the right choice.
If we make the right choice and we
elect someone who not only believes that Black Lives
Matter and trans lives matter, that affirms acceptance
and equality for LGBTQ people, a secretary of education who
actually believes in public education,
I mean, you have the power to make all of those changes
with your vote.
And then I would also say do something fun
when you make a plan to vote.
My plan is to go vote early and then
I'm going to go to the bakery and get a dozen
and celebrate saving democracy.
What's your plan?
I'm voting and I'm having some wine.
Yeah, see?
There you go.
Treat yourself.
That's what I'm going to do.
But yeah, it is the most important thing exactly.
Everyone's cheering with their wine right now.
[LAUGHS] I like that.
But it is the most important thing that we can do right now,
is to vote.
We have to.
Chasten's book is called I Have Something to Tell You.
It's available now.
And everyone in the audience is getting a copy.
I want to thank Sarah Hyland, Chasten Buttigieg.
And I want to thank all of you for watching.
I feel the love coming through the screens.
I send it back to you.
Go out and spread it around in the world out there.
Thanks, everybody.
Bye.