We’re all destined to die! We just don’t know when!
Unfortunately, some of us will have to face down some pretty gnarly horrors at some point,
often bringing us to the end a little earlier than expected.
And for plenty of characters in horror movies, this is the reality.
So let’s talk about the TOP 5 HORROR CHARACTERS WHO COULDN’T ESCAPE THEIR FATE - PART 2!
NUMBER FIVE: GINGER - GINGER SNAPS Poor, poor Ginger.
She just wanted to grow up and have a little fun.
And honestly, poor Brigitte too! She just wanted to hang out with her sister!
But the local werewolf had other plans for them.
Or, I guess a total lack of planning, seeing as it attacked two random girls hanging out
in the woods. But hey, in a movie literally called Ginger
Snaps, you have to expect the character named Ginger to go through some shit.
So we kick off with two extremely morbid teen siblings who have essentially made a death
pact if they can’t escape their boring suburb. Things change quick, though, especially when
puberty hits hard. And when puberty powers up thanks to a lycanthropic
infection, things get weird. And sad.
Ginger gets mauled by a werewolf that ends up being hit by a car, and therefore has to
go through her transformation without any guidance whatsoever.
At first, she doesn’t even know that she’s becoming a werewolf!
Of course, the hunger for human flesh and the biological urges that arise during puberty
kind of stand in for each other as more and more folks get tangled in the werewolfy conundrum.
Ginger flies off the handle and tries to live life solo, making decisions her little sister
finds abhorrent. And of course Brigitte doesn’t understand
what’s going on at all! If only they communicated like rational humans
instead of hormonal teens! Gah! The dramatic irony!
After a few back-of-the-van encounters, the killing of some high-school staff, and a gnarly
party, it does seem as though there might be some reconciliation between sisters!
Unfortunately, Ginger’s bloodlust takes over entirely, making killing more important
than chilling. Dang.
Werewolves aren’t totally invulnerable, though, and Ginger eventually does snap.
She decides NOT to take the cure that her pals developed, and goes about attacking folks.
In a final, violent spree, she attacks Bridgitte, who was holding a knife.
Impaling herself on the weapon, she succumbs to her injuries, and perishes as a wolf.
Her fate was indeed to be a werewolf, and she couldn’t control her hunger, thus ending
her own life and traumatizing her one true friend; her sister.
Heavy. NUMBER FOUR: AMELIA - THE BABADOOK
This is a very peculiar case, especially considering the fact that both Amelia and her son, Sam,
survive. But too bad her husband didn’t!
Hey oh! Interestingly enough, this off-screen, pre-movie
death seals her fate from the start. There’s no way for her to avoid anything
that happens here, because she’s experienced a great tragedy that leaves her at a financial,
parental, and emotional disadvantage moving forward.
RIP Oskar! You’re definitely missed! So after this horrible accident took away
her husband and the father of her child, Amelia was left to raise Sam on her own.
Sam was a peculiar child to start with, and tended to be quite difficult to deal with.
Things got even worse when the mother-son duo were introduced to the Babadook!
A tall, shadowy man in a tophat who constantly tortures whoever learns about him.
That can’t be too helpful! So now Amelia has to deal with Sam’s eccentricities
on her own, fight off her own personal demons, and protect herself and her son from this
terrifying monster. Doesn’t sound like a good time, I’ll be
totally honest. After a veritable gauntlet of horrible ordeals,
Amelia and Sam figure out what to do with the Babadook.
They can’t kill it, and they can’t get rid of it, so instead they lock it in the
basement. To prevent it from getting too surly and trying
to escape, they feed it earthworms that they collect in a bowl.
Yum yum. But now they have a responsibility to keep
this thing at bay. Amelia is now the Babadook’s ward, and if
she fails to remain proactive in her attempts to satiate it, it will likely begin its awful
practices anew. I’m sure you all know about the popular
interpretation of the monster as a manifestation of grief, which ties Amelia’s fate to the
loss of her husband. A person can’t escape the guilt and sense
of loss after the death of a loved one, and in this case it sticks around in the form
of a monster. She survives, but her life is forever altered.
And the Babadook isn’t going away any time soon.
NUMBER THREE: DAVID KESSLER - AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
Another werewolf? Man, these folks are bad at escaping their
fate, eh? The thing is, unlike Ginger, David had many
opportunities to escape his fate. He just never decided to do a single smart
thing. Different strokes, I suppose.
So let’s count down the ways David Kessler could have possibly avoided his death at the
hands of a bunch of British cops with guns. Let’s do it.
First: maybe plan your backpacking trip a little better.
If you’re lost in the middle of nowhere, you have a higher likelihood of dying. Just
basic life skills, there. Next up: maybe chill out a little when entering
the local pub, especially if it seems a little rough around the edges. Then you won’t get
kicked out and have to trek in the rain! And hey, if someone tells you to stay off
the moors, STAY OFF! Stick to the road! Ahh, but that would be too easy, and apparently
David likes to tempt fate. Good lord, he never stops with the dumb choices.
So after a bunch of horrible nightmares featuring weird creatures killing everyone, he wakes
up and sees a vision of his horribly mauled dead friend.
Does he listen to Jack’s advice, though? No!
And he continues flouting his friend’s good-intentioned advice right up until the bitter end.
Even after transforming in the most painful way possible, he continues to live his life
as a normal, non-deadly human. He even runs into all of the folks he killed
at a porno theatre, and decides to ignore their pleas too!
Come on, David! You’re a werewolf! Release these folks from their bondage and save your
soul from any additional torment! But of course, he decides to not do that and
ends up rampaging through Piccadilly Circus. And gets gunned down big time.
No escaping that. NUMBER TWO: AUDREY + HENRY - ANYTHING FOR
JACKSON Here’s another grief-ridden tale of love
and loss. Released very recently, too! So, if you still
want to see it, uhh, SPOILERS! Elderly couple Audrey and Henry love their
little grandson Jackson. But one fateful day, Jackson died in an accident.
His mother survived, but couldn’t deal with the guilt and ended her own life.
This left Audrey and Henry in a state of total disarray.
But soon, they discovered that it was possible to bring Jackson back!
And if they could bring him back, everything would be okay again!
So what if resurrecting a four-year-old means selling your souls to Satan and inadvertently
killing everyone you come into contact with? Seems like a pretty good deal to me.
Henry is an obstetrician, and manages to find a young, single, pregnant patient who is both
planning to keep her child and raise it on her own.
Naturally, the older couple kidnap her and tie her to a bed so they can perform rituals
that will transfer Jackson’s soul into the unborn baby’s body.
This requires sacrifices, and lots of secrecy. Both of these end up in bloodshed, whether
it’s the local snow-shoveller, or a detective who has sniffed out their wrongdoings.
But it’s all worth it, right? As long as Jackson comes back, they can flee the country
and live out their lives once again! Unfortunately, Audrey and Henry didn’t see
all of the side-effects coming. Ghosts and ghouls roam their home, and the
dangers multiply. Amidst the chaos, it becomes clear that nobody
is making it out alive. Henry, cursed to his fate because he loves
his wife, and will do anything to make her happy again.
Audrey, grief-stricken and drowning in guilt, can’t live if she thinks her grandson is
really gone. And Shannon?
Well, this is a pretty new movie, so I’ll let you find out for yourself.
NUMBER ONE: JESS - BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974) Aye, aye, aye.
The first kill has to be memorable, right? Well, this one never stops looming over the
movie! After Clare gets suffocated and locked in
the attic, nobody manages to find her body! Not even when it’s literally staring out
the window with dead eyes, covered in plastic! Ahhh, how are the police not gonna check the
attic after all that? Billy got lucky as hell when they all just
assumed Peter was behind everything, leaving Jess in a very vulnerable position!.
See, as members of the audience, we know that Billy is a madman who has somehow made it
into the house and has been picking off the residents one-by-one.
But because Peter is a tortured soul with a history of destroying pianos, the police
somehow figure it’s been him all along. They find him beside Jess’ unconscious body
and decide: yup, that takes care of that. Leaving a police officer behind to watch over
the house was a nice gesture, but poor Jess is unmonitored in her room!
After an entire movie’s worth of being harassed over the phone, watching her friends die,
and getting chased by her boyfriend after not wanting to keep her baby, she’s now
alone. But Billy is still chillin’ in the attic,
undisturbed. So after answering that first obscene phone
call, Jess’ fate was sealed. Even though everyone can assume the house
is safe and sound now, the killer remains. It’s left ambiguous in the movie, but we
all know Billy’s MO.
Poor folks, eh? If only they hadn’t tempted fate in one
way or another. Maybe they could have lived out uninteresting,
safe lives! But that’s not how things work in horror
movies! What did you think of the list?
How many of these did you see coming? What’s another movie where some characters
are doomed from the start? Make sure you let me know down in the comments.
Speaking of comments, let’s take a look at some of your more gratuitous ones from
the TOP 5 HORROR CHARACTERS WHO COULDN’T ESCAPE THEIR FATE - PART 2:
Kazuma-Kun says “If you have the choice of decapitation or burning, yeah, go with
decapitation. All you feel is a sore neck. When burning, EVERYTHING hurts.”
I like that you foresee folks getting to choose their gruesome death! Ah, yes, I think the
decapitation sounds good today. Capi says “I feel the characters from Final
Destination can never escape death’s plan.” I agree!
Its Phisty says “Cannibalism is the only ethical consumption under capitalism. I mean
they rhyme so it has to make sense.” Hold up, you think cannibalism is ethical?
Ethical cannibalism… Kind of has a ring to it!
Lauren Bolding says “Hereditary was epic UP TO the ending. Let down worse than Scarlett
Johansson’s performance in Lucy.” Okay, I’ve been seeing a lot of people say
this lately. I don’t get it, the ending to Hereditary makes sense to me. What don’t
people like about it? And that’s all the time we have for today!
I’m going to float my way up to the top of a backyard treehouse!
Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!