This is all about Susie Diaz.
It's Suzie Diaz's party.
Susie Diaz is running the show. I'm just gonna show up.
If she needs me to bring beer or something,
I'm more than happy to do it.
Oh, dude. Oh, my God.
A woman just fainted. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Ma'am.
Oh...um...
[line ringing]
[ringing]
911. What is your emergency?
Yes, yeah. I'm at the corner of Fifth and Metropolitan,
and I just came up across this woman,
and she just--she just passed out on the sidewalk here.
Okay. And is she responsive, sir?
Um...
[dramatic melody]
Okay, sir? Is she responsive?
Sir? Sir?
Um, no, she's-- she's not responsive.
She's...beautiful.
♪ ♪
That is not relevant to this emergency, sir.
An ambulance is on its way.
In the meantime, I need you to check her pulse.
Check her pulse. Right, check her pulse.
Okay.
[dramatic melody]
Does she have a pulse, sir?
Oh, she does,
but her skin is so soft.
Sir...
She doesn't have on a ton of makeup,
but she's the kind of girl
- that just doesn't need it. - Sir--
You can see that she put a lot of thought into her outfit,
but not like she's trying too hard.
She's perfect.
Sir, may I remind you
that you have not spoken a word to this woman?
I need you to see if she's breathing.
Is she breathing? Yeah, okay. Hold on.
♪ ♪
Sir, I need you to stay on track.
Oh, God. Oh, God, she's not breathing!
The love of my life is not breathing.
You got to save my baby!
Do you know how to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
Yes, I do.
Okay. I need you to administer that now.
Okay, okay. [exhales sharply]
No, no. I ca--I can't.
I can't do it. I can't--I can't do it.
It just-- it's disrespectful.
I have to be respectful for her.
Sir, this is the only time it's okay to put your mouth
on an unconscious woman. Do it.
I just didn't picture it happening this way,
and there's butterflies in my stomach, and I'm just--
[hyperventilating] I don't want to mess this up.
- It's so rare to find-- - Sir, if you can hear me,
an ambulance is on its way.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I need you to calm down.
- Oh, gosh, my head. - Sir?
- I'm so light-headed. - Sir, stay with me.
If this is what it feels like to be in love,
this is what it must feel like when you--when you find the one.
Sir, are you there?
[busy signal beeping]
[sirens approaching]
Oh, God.
[phone beeping]
[line ringing]
[phone ringing]
911. What is your emergency?
There's an attractive, confident, well-to-do black man.
He just passed out right here on the street.
Okay. Ma'am, listen very carefully.
I'm going to need you to marry him.
O-okay.
Shouldn't I give him, like, mouth-to-mouth first?
Yeah, girl. Get you some.
Shoot.