- Hi, I'm John Mulaney and this
is how I got started.
(fast-cooking jazz horns)
So when I was growing up,
there were 1,000 million comedians on TV all the time.
The first comedian I ever saw
was a guy named Dennis Wolfberg,
who was a Chicago-based comedian, he was on cable.
I liked The Amazing Johnathan,
I liked Bobcat Goldthwait, Comic Relief,
those specials, I'd watch all those.
David Byrne was a big influence,
because when I was a kid,
"Stop Making Sense" was very funny to me.
And I also thought that I looked like him when I was a kid,
so I thought if I had to dance,
I would dance like him in "Stop Making Sense."
'Cause I was like, "Okay, that's a funny way to act."
And when I started doing stand-up,
I talked a little like David Byrne.
There's a bonus feature on "Stop Making Sense"
where David Byrne interviews himself,
and he's like, "What are your favorite hobbies?"
And it's like, "getting haircuts,"
and like I kinda talked like that
when I started doing stand-up.
The first time I was on stage, like ever in life,
would've been in a Christmas pageant when I was four.
- [Interviewer] What did you play?
- An Israelite.
I mean like, a passerby.
Not a shepherd, not a wise man, not Joseph,
not the innkeeper,
which actually I would've liked to,
now that I think about it, the most,
that would be the funniest role.
"My wife's pregnant."
"Yeah, I know, but we don't have any room."
Like four to nine,
I was Gary Coleman good, all the time.
Very funny, witty, good exit lines, great with adults.
It started to happen right around 10 or 11,
and I was starting to get introverted.
I do remember my mom, one day, she went,
"What happened to that happy boy that used to be here?"
But, I don't know.
So, 11, 12, really lost.
Not lost, just trying a lot of things.
Like I had metal bracelets from Urban Outfitters,
I was just trying things.
I didn't know how to act.
And then, high school,
drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink
drink, smoke weed, and do coke and stuff, and do Ritalin.
So, that was like, then I could come out of my shell
when I was all messed up on that.
And I was funny with my friends then,
and I started to feel like, "I am funny
"and I like this type of thing,"
but I still would choke
whenever I auditioned for a school play.
And then, so I stopped drinking
and doing all sorts of genuinely fun things
when I was 23.
And then I started to become
like I was when I was like eight or nine.
I felt funny in a way I hadn't in like, decades.
So I left college, and I was a temp.
And I got assigned at Comedy Central,
so I was actually an assistant
to the Head of Development.
And then, sometimes, when he was in town,
I was the assistant to the President of Comedy Central.
And that was really interesting.
'Cause like, Chappelle's Show was on there,
I took the call when Chappelle went missing,
to South Africa?
They were like, "You have to interrupt the meeting
and tell them."
And I was like, "Okay."
And I went in, and I was like, "So, Dave Chappelle's gone."
And they're like, "Yeah, I know,"
'cause Dave Chappelle was often three to four hours late.
So, they were like, "We know he's late," you know?
And I was like, "No, they say he's gone."
And they were like, "Health and safety issue?"
And I went back to the phone and was like,
"Is it a health and safety issue?"
And they were like, "Yes!" and I was like,
"It's a health and safety issue."
They wanted to get Season 3 of Chappelle,
the tapes, from production,
and they were going to put me on a plane that day,
and send me to LA to get the physical tapes
so that they couldn't be destroyed,
and fly back to New York with them.
And that was like, interesting,
but it felt actually like a hindrance
to being a comedian.
So I left that job, I wrote freelance ad copy
for a tchotchke catalog that would sell candles and such.
And then, I started going on the road
with a comedian named Mike Birbiglia,
and I would MC for him.
And then I did a college tour with him,
and it was like 30 days straight.
And I remember I got back from that
and I had $2,600.
My rent was $600 a month,
then I got a tax refund,
because I'd made so little money as a temp,
And it was for $2,000.
So then I had $4,600 roughly,
and I was like, "I am set. This is the greatest."
I was like, "I am flush."
And I wanted to work!
So it was that type of thing
where I was like, "I don't need to do,"
it was like, but you want to,
you're trying to get your career started
but you're thinking like a shut-in, or a retiree.
I'm like, "I don't have to do a thing."
I'd be like, "If I get hit by a bus tomorrow,
"and I couldn't do stand-up,"
which by the way didn't pay much,
"I could live for," you know, however many months,
"and then be evicted."
So I quit all other temp jobs
and just did stand-up.
I read once David Byrne say that he makes things
because he wants to see them.
I wanted to make the "John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch"
musical comedy children's special
'cause I wanted to see it.
There were albums, when I was a kid,
like Harry Nilsson's "The Point,"
Carole King's "Really Rosie."
"Free to Be... You and Me" was a big influence,
that was kind of the first jumping-off point.
I just felt like they were like,
things from weird people, for children.
One problem of making a variety show is that I,
and several people that have worked on this,
already worked on a variety show that exists,
and everything gets compared to it.
So I was trying to think of any other good variety show
other than the one we used to work on, on NBC,
and there aren't many.
And then I realized that Sesame Street
was the only other variety show
as successful as the show we worked on,
which was Saturday Night Live.
There were multiple kids in the Sack Lunch
that I identified with.
Not just that they had different traits,
but I could identify with them
at different times in my life.
Young John Mulaney
wouldn't have wanted to be in the special more.
Like, you can't fathom
how much I would have wanted to be in the special,
but I think I would have tightened up at the audition.
I think I would have blown it.
And that's
how I got started,
though it did deviate a few times,
and we got into some libel and slander,
and how much money I had in 2005,
but my new special, "John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch"
is streaming now on Netflix,
so please check it out!
(upbeat jazz tag)