This one's from Bob. Hey Tripp, I'd appreciate your advice. When I'm using dating apps,
I'm often asked, "Have you been married / had children?"
I often feel judged by my answers to this. What should I say to avoid putting women off? Just be
vague? Thanks for your help. I've recently started listening to your podcast and enjoying it so far.
Bob, great question. That's interesting. I haven't really heard much of that. I've heard a little bit
of that. I don't hear about that on the dating apps. But middle aged guy, that means you're over
40, you might even be in your late 40s or 50s. So it does not surprise me that you're getting that
question. First of all, I wouldn't be worrying about the fact that you should feel judged.
Don't worry about that. They're not judging you, they're filtering.
They're filtering. They're filtering and they're trying to get to know you. They're
trying to understand – is this someone who's been married before and has an ex in his life?
Does he have children? They're trying to get the lowdown. I'm guessing most women
probably wouldn't want that. They wouldn't want someone who's been divorced. Ideally.
They wouldn't want someone who has children. But I could be wrong on that because some women also
have children. And they might like the fact that you also have children because you guys
can connect on that front. And no one's really expected to see each other as much as you might
if you were both single. Let's throw out the idea of feeling fearful of being judged and let's be
honest. If you're getting asked, have you been married, are you divorced, do you have children,
you tell them the truth, and then you see what happens.
You can't lie. Because obviously, right? It's like if you lie
and she's like, "Okay, cool" and you guys meet up and it's done. She's going to find out,
it's going to be done. So, you want to tell the truth, you're going to say whatever it is.
And it's interesting, because you actually haven't said what your situation is. I wonder why. Maybe
you should have. Is it possible that you aren't married or don't have children?
Maybe you're just scared about being judged? Whatever your answer is, tell the truth, tell them
what's going on, and then you get filtered out. Here's what I would make sure you're doing, Bob.
Make sure that you don't say anywhere on your profile, or have pictures anywhere on your
profile of your kids, of your... I wouldn't think you would, but some people have pictures of their
ex wives, I'm sure somewhere, but don't do it. Don't put that on there. And I know that sounds
like polarizing advice. You might even hear from some other people.
No, put your kids on there. They should know. They should see. No, don't. It's not a lie. You're just
not portraying that part of your life on your dating app. If they ask you in person, you will
absolutely tell the truth. I've given this advice on the podcast before. I'm happy to say it again.
When you're on a date with a woman and she asks that you're going to answer and you're going to
say it in a very positive, uplifting way. It's not going to be a confession. "Oh yeah, I have a kid.
Yeah..." You're gonna be very positive about it. "Yup. I have a daughter. She's the most amazing
thing in the world. I love spending time with her. And I share custody with my ex wife and it's going
well" Just show her that there's no problems. There's no drama. And hopefully there isn't.
You got to make sure that you are portraying yourself as someone that doesn't come with a lot
of baggage. She's going to want to know that. And you're going to want to know the same from her,
aren't you? Can you imagine being on a date with a woman and she says "Yeah, these two
kids. They can be such brats sometimes." You'd be like, "Uh, I gotta go." Right? You're done.
Meaning you're done with her. So yeah, tell the truth, say what's up. And if you want to increase
your chances of having more women to talk to so you're not getting filtered out so hard
then you got to have a really good profile. Guys, if you're not getting professional pictures done,
you're missing out on a ton of matches. Guys get really freaked out by it. They go "Aren't
women going to notice if I have a really good picture that's professionally taken,
doesn't that look "try hard"? No, it just looks like a good picture of you and they
can clearly see who you are. What's the other idea, selfies? Selfies have been proven to
do very poorly for men, on the dating apps. Studies have actually shown that. I believe it was
OKCupid, it was either OKCupid or Match. It said that men with selfies generally get less swipes.
So get professional pictures done. And if you want to learn more about how to even get more volume,
get the Online Domination program. I can't sit here and tell you all of it. It's like a
6 - 8 hour program. If you get that you'll learn everything in there that will teach
you what kinds of pictures to use, my messaging sequence, all that good stuff. And then you'll
have more volume, more women swiping right on you, and then this is going to help you have
more women so if more women end up filtering you out, you have more options. Simple math. No,
don't be vague. Just be positive. She's if like, " Are you're married? Do you have kids?" Yep. Two
amazing kids. I'd use a really positive adjective. Yep, two amazing kids and yes, currently divorced.