Hey everyone, I'm Shakti.
And today we're gonna be talking about disability, growing up, and life.
...and today I'm joined by Rebecca
Could you tell me a bit about your disability? Because it's very different from mine.
- People often assume that I have, um, Spina bifida - yeah
Lots of doctors even writing on my medical notes, Spina bifida which is a little bit annoying
but the basics of Sacral agenesis is that I am missing the lumbar and
sacrum parts of my spine and that kind of affected the way the lower half of my
body kind of grew and developed. Um, and Sacral agenesis is something quite rare
like I think there are only maybe four or five people in New Zealand that have it
But yeah I feel like I know a lot of people who have Spina bifida
yeah and I've met that I'm I've talked to them but yeah that must be a really
different experience having not as many people who talk to you about, that have it?
I think the weirdest time with - I looked into it was when I looked at Sacral agenesis on
Wikipedia and they had like a notable person section
oh yeah?
- and I was on it! - No way! Really?
That is really weird. It was like; Rebecca Dubber
- New Zealand Paralympian I was like "oh" - Dude, look at that. Represent!
Thats really cool, representation.You're like "Oh it's actually me, I'm doing that"
Yeah, I was like, I don't know if I should be weirded out or flattered right now
No, you should be so flattered. That's so cool dude, yeah.
Um, I'm sure for other people that look it up that have it they're gonna see you right
- that's so neat - yeah
Cool, I reckon we move on to this thing. Do you remember these from like primary school?
I do
These like fortune tellers would you like to choose a color?
Blue
B-L-U-E
Lets go three.
Three. I'm going to open it.
What are your dreams and future goals, Rebecca?
I have a lot dreams and goals coming up
Um, Recently I retired from Paraswimming
And before I retired my dream was to go to the Tokyo Paralympics and to win a gold medal.
I struggled a lot with injuries and I had to have surgery on my elbow and
the surgery went really well but my recovery my rehab back into training
didn't and I was kind of all of a sudden confronted with this big decision that I
had to make as to whether I try really hard to go to Tokyo or do I for the sake
of my long-term health and well-being retire from swimming and kind of set
some different goals, so I spend a lot of time really thinking about what I
- wanted and what I wanted to achieve in my future - yeah
- so I would say looking at my five-year plan - yeah yeah
because I like to plan. Um, I'd like to buy a house and I like to start a family and I'd really like
to focus on building a really successful career in media marketing and communications
it must have been crazy like having that be such an important part of your life
Well and it was because I was swimming ever since I was like 6, 7 years old years old
so all I ever knew was swimming. For such a long time I was Rebecca the swimmer
and I was terrified of what that was going to be or who I was going to be without it
you know, being confronted with the idea that maybe I had to retire
I was like "well, shit" I need to really think about what I want and-
- like who your like, identity is? - Yeah and I still feel like I'm really figuring that out like
I definitely have days where I'm like "oh I don't really know what I'm doing" like
am I on the right path? and I'm just kind of saying yes to everything and really
putting myself out there for all the opportunities and um, like I'm loving where it's going
So currently I work for the Halberg Foundation which is basically a
big accumulation of everything that I am passionate about which is;
disability, sport, and kind of making things more accessible for that next generation
Yeah, you're a perfect person for that job as well I feel like because you've competed
in that high level and I'm sure you've lived those same experiences that you
know what young people with disabilities need in that situation, that it must be a
really good feeling to be proud of that as well yeah
For me um one thing that I've thought about is the Paralympics are a really big thing now I think it's
really cool now it's in like mainstream media we see that a lot more now - you've
been involved in that and what are your thoughts on that sort of representation of disabled people?
What happened in Rio with TVNZ and Attitude
kind of with the free-to-air. That did so much in terms of . growing
Para-sport in terms of everyday people and everyday of people with disabilities
having access to see that to see what that's like because in London we didn't
have that it was all privatized and there was very limited coverage as well
because there was too much money to do anything substantial and coming
back from London like there wasn't a lot of hype around the Paralympics and it
you know you just kind of came back and you went back to you read a life there
was nothing really special about coming back from the London Paralympics
but then Rio so many more people had seen it the media had been given
tools to explain it in a way that the public could understand because
I think that's a barrier to really kind of getting into para-sport as people are
too scared to talk about it because they don't know what's going on they don't
understand the classifications they don't understand disability sport as a
whole it's confusing and it's scary and that's okay yeah but I feel like it's
it's our job as well to really you know provide people with resources so that
they can understand and Paralympics kind of tried to do that and once you know
news sources and the media we're explaining to people how it worked they
were watching and they were starting to figure it out and they were really
enjoying it and they're like hey this is really cool so I am so proud to be a Paralmpian.
and it really bugs me when people go:
"oh my god you're an Olympian that's so cool"
Mm-mm not an Olympian, haven't been to the Olympics.
please don't call me that. And then you try to explain it to them
in the nicest way possible and they go "oh but it's the same thing"
Uh-oh
Like you know, I think-I think an Olympian is way cooler. You're an Olympian.
because it's almost like it's perceived that me being a Paralympian
- isn't cool enough so we're just going to call it Olympian - They just kind of want to buff it up
yeah yeah absolutely it's the same argument as like:
"oh I don't see disability in my head" you know what I mean? it's like that same vibe
which is just a pure lack of understanding in my opinion
Yeah, and it's trying to educate but it's you know what is the best way to do that?
how are we going to kind of overcome that? And that I don't have the answers to
You do not have the answers, I was just about to ask.
Would you like to pick a color?
Lets go yellow.
Y-E-L-L-O-W
Lets go one.
Alright.
How did you feel about yourself and your disability as a kid?
- I don't think I really noticed my disability is a kid - interesting, why's that?
I don't think I was even really brought up to think of myself as different like I think my parents did a
phenomenal job raising me and having me grow yeah because I never treated me any
differently and I think it wasn't until I kind of got to my teenage years that
I started to really notice the differences
Was there something that like brought that on?
... Boys?
like starting to like boys and realising the boys maybe didn't like me back
because I used a wheelchair and my friends didn't but then it was
also just things like I started to really get into my swimming and that
kind of took off just again I was you know 15, 16 swimming with kids that were
11 and 12 yeah and kind of having that difference and always kind of being
separated and it just kind of started to get to me but I didn't really
like the way I looked because you know fashion magazines and media and
everything kind of played into how you're supposed to feel about yourself
And I would go shopping with my friends and they'd be trying on clothes
and I would try on something that they'd been trying on but it would look
different on me and I didn't like the way it looked and that was just really confronting.
I think it wasn't until I was 23 that I was perfectly happy and content with who I was,
and it took a lot of soul-searching and kind of
you know deep thought and deep reflection
and really had to change the way I thought about myself in the way I saw my
outlook and had to take it from a real negative like
oh you know no one could ever love you because you may need some help doing some other things.
and you have a wheelchair and all all those other negative thoughts that you just kind of
manifest about yourself that make you hate your life and I realized I can't go on
like this because I'm not gonna wake up one day and magically not be disabled
- that's really tough thing to come to I think - I didn't like being this negative person
that you know will go to a bar with my friends and they'd be pointing out you
know all the guys that they wanted to chat up and I was just internally
thinking well none of them I'm gonna be interested in me I didn't want to
be that person I just kind of wanted to accept what my life was and kind of just
be confident and I think you know if I could tell anything to my younger self
is that once you get over that it gets better
so you're talking about
Those feelings of coming to terms with your identity and feeling good about yourself
Were there any tools that you used? Or was there support?
I don't think I had tools as such to come to terms with it
I was very blessed to have a lot of support from my family and from my
friends but at the same time I think a lot of it kind of had to come from me
because it was my life it wasn't anyone else's life and you know in that
same year I won my first Paralympic bronze medal and it was almost like my
life peaked and I was just like there was nothing that I would change
I wouldn't change my disability I wouldn't change my friends my family the path
that I was on, the fact that I was studying University or anything I was
completely and 100% content with who I was and that's never gone away it's only
grown and my life I feel like it's kind of manifested into this just amazing and
you know I wake up every morning and I'm just like holy shit this is my life like I am just so happy.
I feel like yeah one of the big things about this disability
thing is that the collaboration makes it easier for everyone
I definitely think that if I saw more Indian boys and wheelchairs on TV I'd
probably feel a bit more confident about who I was and what I can achieve like
Well thats where um -
shameless plug here amazing human being Grace Stratton with All is for All
- like how amazing is that? - it's pretty crazy
I went to my first New Zealand Fashion Week casting
like you know I've always loved fashion and you know I've never
been afraid to get in front of a camera like I love dressing up and I love doing
that yeah but I never saw that as a pathway or an option for myself
And then Grace starts up All is for All and you know I was saying to my
partner earlier I never knew that by you know taking a couple of selfies in the
bathroom at work and sending them to her being like can I be a part of this well
you know it's all her and Ang over there doing these amazing things
creating these opportunities the fact that I get to be a part of it that I may
be a part of you know another young girl in a wheelchair seeing me and you know
nice clothes and being like far out you know I can I can do that too I think
it's really amazing what Grace Stratton has been doing and even the idea that
she's creating opportunities for women like you to access that kind of thing
it's interesting to think that before that there's not even an opportunity or
like a path of least resistance to get into that kind of thing um do you
think it's like the responsibility of us young people to be doing this?
I think so, I don't think we can put too much emphasis on reliance on that older
generation to do it I think one of the things that you had to discover when you
kind of get into your adult years is that when you're little you think adults
know everything and they're the ones out there creating the change and making the
difference but then when you get to you know your own adult years and you're
like great I don't know what I'm doing and nobody else knows what they're doing
yeah so I feel like if you've got these ideas if you want to go out there and be
an advocate don't wait for someone else to do it it's finding the balance as
well because you don't want to go down the spectrum where you're someone who
just fights all the time for injustice yes because I think that puts you in a
- really negative space - I think it's also very taxing right?
yeah it is, and I see people out there who are they've just spent their whole lives
fighting for things that they don't know how to be positive or they don't know
how to affect change in an effective way anymore yeah because what I found is
that I've had much more success changing things coming from a place of kindness and empathy
Thank you so much for coming here today and having chat with me it's been great talking to you
- Thanks for having me - Awesome!