It was nice to talk to someone
who wasn't like, well you know-
- I did it like this! - Yeah, exactly.
I'm Danielle Brooks, and this is
A Little Bit Pregnant.
Each episode I'm talking to the experts
about pregnancy, parenthood, and
everything in between.
This episode, What in the Doula?
All right, y'all, I'm gearin' up!
I got six weeks to go
before this baby comes outta me,
and I keep hearing about doulas,
and I know nothing about them!
Maybe a little bit.
I hope you'll come with me and learn
as we talk to the experts.
In the meantime, hydrate.
I'm very, very scared of childbirth.
That's why I'm going to hire a doula.
You know what a doula is?
That's a white hippie witch
that blows quinoa into your
to Keyser Soze all the pain away.
I'm here with Domino Kirke.
I'm super excited to have her.
And she's one of the cofounders of
Carriage House Birth.
You know what I was going for.
Anyway, can you please break down,
talk to me about doulas.
Just educate us, 'cause we need help.
Doulas are emotional, informational,
spiritual, physical support for the laboring person,
and the family.
I just want to talk about the
difference between a midwife
and a doula.
Because when I first came in, I was like,
I thought they was the same thing!
And they're totally really not, right?
Midwives are medical professionals,
they're medically trained.
They can do everything except surgery.
And the difference with a doula is,
between the midwife is that
the doulas can't necessarily deliver.
No we're not catching your babies.
OK, but have you caught a few?
I have.
How early in the process
do you think one should even bring in a doula?
As early as they can. But we,
as doulas we get called at 37 weeks.
Like "Oh my God, I heard I need a doula,
- I need you." - Really?
Tell me everything, can I meet you once?
That late?
And some people pee on a stick and we're hired.
How is it for doulas working with dads?
We like to say partners,
'cause they're not always male.
- Partners, it's true. - The person in labor
just starts to vomit or there's a lotta blood,
or a big thing that could be scary,
the partner looks at the doula
and is like, well if they're not scared,
I guess everything's fine.
So we're like the-
We gauge the room.
Partners end up loving doulas
because we relax them
and give them less to do
so they can hone in on you.
- Which is nice. - Mm hmm.
OK, give me an example of what a doula
would actually do while I'm in labor.
One way that doulas tend
to tell people how to breathe
- is just circular breathing. - OK.
So you might completely ditch this
- when you go into labor. - OK.
And be like I don't know
what she was talking about.
- But one way- - I'd be like
I'm breathing!
- I'm breathing! - But one way is really
to just take it in through
your nose really long and slow.
And blow it out of your mouth.
And as you blow it away,
you're also blowing away the tension
that is in your shoulders and your neck.
And so you can really feel how that circular breathing
is moving through your body versus
the in and out of your mouth,
or holding your breath
until it's done.
Circular breathing
is actually just moving everything through.
So what are some tips for
people who can't afford a doula,
who might not want a doula.
One thing about people who can't afford one,
there really is a doula for everyone.
There are volunteer services.
OK.
It's much more the category of people
who feel like they don't need that kinda thing.
But let me tell you those people
always end up calling someone.
One tip, what would it be?
Picking your team is so huge.
It doesn't matter what hospital you're in,
or what place you're in,
as long as the people there are for you.
Make sure they're they're the kind of people
that you could take a poop in front of.
We talked to Domino, but I also heard
about post-partum doulas,
did you know that was a thing?
OK, y'all.
So I am here with my friend Tedecia.
And she is just golden.
She's a new mother of, how old is your son?
- Seven months old today. - Seven months old today.
- Yeah. - And you said
- this thing moves fast. - So fast, so fast.
Ugh, well I need your help!
- I need your knowledge. - I'm gonna give it all-
- Give it to us! - All to you.
- Give it to us! - Yes!
'Cause I'm constantly receiving it.
Anytime I see a mom, I'm just like, "What do you do?
- What's your secret?" - Yes, yes.
- You know? - So...
I want to talk to you about the doula thing.
Did you know about doulas
before being pregnant?
I did know about doulas before being pregnant.
When me and my partner Curtis-
What up Curtis.
He was just like,
"We don't need the doula, I've got you."
So you didn't get pre-doula
- No. - If that's a thing.
- Right. - Guess it's really called
- just the doula. - Just the doula.
You did something called post-doula
- Yeah. - Did she live with you?
- She'll come over for a couple of hours,
three hours at a time.
She would ask me how everything is going,
give me any advice I need, any questions that I have.
She's incredibly knowledgeable.
She's a baby-wearing expert.
So she taught me how to-
- Wrap the baby, mm. - Wrap the baby
and wear him,
which gave me an immense amount
of freedom.
Did she talk to you about breastfeeding?
Everything, she's a lactation consultant.
- Nice. - She talked to me
about breastfeeding.
But more than that, she would always bring me
- a cooked lunch - This woman cooks?
- Yeah! - For you too?
She cooks for you, washed my dishes,
- take out my trash. - She did your dishes?
- Make sure that- - Your trash.
My trash, made sure we were both down
for a nap before she left.
You may have to drop me her number.
I know, she's-
- The best. - Amazing, yeah.
So did you have any
misconceptions about doulas
- before using one? - Yeah.
I just didn't realize how essential they could be.
I think I'm gonna do the doula.
- You should do it. - I'm into
- this post-partum doula. - Yes!
- If my mom's not available. - Well,
it was nice to have an objective opinion.
It was nice to talk to someone
who wasn't like "Well you know-"
- I did it like this! - Yeah, exactly.
Did you feel judgment with that?
Mamas being like,
"You can't handle this on your own?"
I'm from a Jamaican family so
my mom was just like, "What is this doula?"
After hearing about it, and realizing what a help it was
for me, she was like "Oh this is really cool."
Do you feel like because it's such a luxury
that sometimes maybe
you can find that within a friend-
Yeah, definitely.
We were so fortunate that we were gifted that.
- Yeah. - That was really amazing.
The things that I have learnt
from having a post-partum doula,
I have passed on to other people,
simple things like do a list of things
that you would like your guests to know
when they come through the door-
- Ooh! - so that you don't have to-
- Say it. - Say it.
But sometimes you still got to say it.
Right, exactly.
If you had one tip that you would give any mother,
what would that be?
It's what we were just talking about.
Allow yourself to be helped.
It's OK to be held and carried by your friends,
by your family, by whoever your support network is.
It really is about the village,
- and it truly takes a village. - A village, yes.
For the village to work properly,
it means that you have to be in a place to receive it.
Allow yourself to be helped.
I'm here for that.
My favorite phrase while being pregnant is, no,
I'm pregnant.
Can you put your earring in?
No, I'm pregnant.
Can you do the dishes tonight?
No, I'm pregnant.
Can you order the pizza?
No, I'm pregnant.
Help me get up, girl, help me.
I'm just kidding.
I'm practicing, I'm practicing!
Yeah you got it!
You've got it!
You're doing a great job, there!