When life beats us up sometimes we have to figure out how to do this. Starting
life over after losing everything.
Disclaimer right up front. You are never wrong about how you feel. Some of what
I'm going to share with you in this video may suggest that you're not
feeling what you should be feeling. I don't want to even go there.
You're never wrong about how you feel. How you feel is 100% consistent with
your current set of beliefs and perceptions, with the way your mind is
processing your experience. I'm going on record saying that. Now having said that,
when you feel that you've lost everything, you haven't. The fact that you
can feel, suggests that you haven't lost everything. No, you're never wrong about
how you feel. Notice this, it could always be better. And it could always be worse.
Is that true? Don't take my word for this. I want you to run it through your
own filters and see if it's true because if that's true then no matter how bad
things seem right now, it could always be worse, is that true? Yeah, it could always
be worse and is that true the other direction? No matter how good things seem
it could always be better? Why do I make a big deal out of that because it is
what it is. You say you've lost everything, really? You've lost some
things. I am not denying that. You have not lost everything. Just over a decade
ago, I thought I had lost everything. Not really because my mind quickly reminded
me that I hadn't lost everything. I went through a bankruptcy. Now that's losing
everything, right? No, it's not. In fact, the first thing that I noticed after that
happened to me, everything was still in color which
how surprised me. I was expecting maybe everything would turn into one of those
old twenties movies. You know where everything's black and white. People are
hanging in their heads and it's dust and depression everywhere. No, color. The wind
is blowing, the birds are singing, children are playing in the park. Had I
lost everything? No, the fact that I could still see those children playing in the
park meant I hadn't lost everything. I interviewed Carol Decker, what an
amazing woman. She contracted sepsis as she was having her second child went
into the hospital. Was in a coma. She came out of that coma as a triple amputee and
blind. She lost everything or did she? Still had her daughter, two of them. A
loving husband the subtitle of her book 'Unshattered", is choosing a beautiful life.
I love that because you never lose everything as long as you're still here.
What if you lose your life? Well that depends on what your beliefs are but we
can leave a legacy behind even after our life is gone. I don't think you fully
lose everything anytime. I've probably emphasized that enough. Connect with that
for just a moment because how you feel is driven by your perception. When you
can go back to the gratitude of what you already have and what you still have,
that gives you a place to start from. A good friend of mine Chad Hymas taught me
something about this. He's an amazing, inspiring man and a world-class speaker.
Chad had an accident that left him quadriplegic meaning all 4 limbs are
affected with the paralysis. While he was in the hospital, he started to get into
this period of depression because of all that he had lost and he'd lost
everything, right? No, what did he still have? Chad pointed out to me that when he
was focused on what he couldn't do, depression, discouragement. When he turned
his mind to what can I do, that brought some hope and gave him a starting place.
When we've had a significant loss, I think it's important to start focusing
on what we have not what we don't because that at least is useful we can
wrap our heads and our hands around that and then start from there. You have to
start from somewhere and where you are is the only practical place that you can
start. So let's get good with where we are. Instead of telling ourselves that
we've lost everything, let's acknowledge the loss feel whatever we're going to
feel, you're never wrong about that and then get on track with okay, what do I
have? What can I do? What are my resources? Where can I start? And then actually
start. I told you that I ended up in a bankruptcy. It was one of the darkest
periods of my life at least from a financial standpoint, I had never planned
on being there. I didn't want to be there. You know me is the pathologically
positive Doctor Paul on YouTube. Well this took a hit and it was a little hard
you know it was a lot hard for me to deal with that. I realized through a
number of experiences that I had to start from somewhere. I looked down on
the ground and I saw a dime. I reached down and I picked up that dime and I
thought, well there we go. That's what I'm going to start from. And there's a lot
more to the story than that but the point is let's start from where we are
with what we have, that's the only place we can start from anyway. This is a mind
shift. It's a paradigm shift and I know I'm not giving you a lot of practical
advice about how to pick up the pieces from this broken life. I'm just saying
that you can and your amazing, creative ability to do that is going to sustain
you through the difficult times. There are better things to come.
When Vickie and I were first married we lived in a little basement apartment.
This place was so tiny. Honestly, I could touch my nose to the ceiling. In several places
in that apartment was actually dug out by hand by the landlord who wanted more
space to rent to poor students and that's where we lived. Well right across
the street was a historic building that I had the honor of leading tours for. As
people would come to visit this historic building. We lived right across the
street. I had a key to the place and it was such an honor to be able to
guide people through this historic building. Well a few years later, that
building caught fire and the whole roof collapsed and the entire interior of the
building was destroyed. The walls were still standing. The old historic
sandstone walls were still there but the building was destroyed or so we thought.
It was a few years later that that building was renovated to become a
beautiful edifice. A building that far surpasses what the original historic
building was and stood for. It's beautiful and I look at that sometimes
as a symbol of what we can do with our lives.
Yeah, things happen and you know what as a matter of fact that fire prepared the
building for the renovation that turned it into the beautiful edifice that it is
now. It just reminds me that when things happen in our life, let's not be too
quick to assume that this is the end. That this is the last part of the story.
In fact, it may be an important step toward a really awesome upgrade. When you
think you've lost everything, keep in mind that you're not done yet and that
there are some great things that are still waiting for you. Start from a place
of positivity that allows you to be grateful for what you have. Start from
there and let's start building something that represents an amazing upgrade. If
nothing else, I hope that gives you some hope and if it did, would you please
share this video with someone that you care about? If
haven't yet, please subscribe to the channel. We'll be back tomorrow with some
more great content.
I saw standing in this