>> THIS WEEK, RED SOX SLUGGER DAVID ORTIZ PLAYED HIS FINAL
SERIES AGAINST THE NEW YORK YANKEES.
HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS BIG PAPI HIMSELF, DAVID ORTIZ!
>> HEY! HEY, YO!
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ] >> SHUT UP.
MAN, WE ALREADY GOT A DEAL WITH TIM KAINE.
>> THAT'S FAIR. SO BIG PAPI, WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL MISS MOST ABOUT PLAYING YANKEE STADIUM?
>> YOU KNOW, AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS, IF I HAD TO PICK
JUST ONE THING, I WOULD PROBABLY SAY, LUNCH.
>> YOU'LL MISS LUNCH? >> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, MAN.
BIG STADIUM GOT A BIG LUNCH. YOU EVER EAT AT THE YANKEE
STADIUM, JOST? THEY GOT MOFONGO.
SOPA DE SPAGHETTI. HORCHATA CON JAMON.
IT'S A SWEET MILKY HAM DRINK. YEAH, MAN.
>> DELICIOUS, YEAH. NOW, I HEARD THE YANKEES GAVE
YOU A FAREWELL PRESENT. >> THAT'S RIGHT, MAN.
GAVE ME A PADDED BOX. OPEN IT UP?
BIG LUNCH. INSIDE THERE WAS MOFONGO.
ARROZ CON VEGETALES. BEEF STEAK.
[ LAUGHTER ] IBACA BURRITO.
AND THEN INSTEAD OF PLAYING BASEBALL, EVERYBODY TAKE A BIG
NAP. YEAH, THE FANS WERE NO HAPPY.
>> NO, NO. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GOING TO DO AT THE END OF THE SEASON?
>> OH, YEAH, BRO. I ENDORSE ME.
>> LIKE, YOU DO ENDORSEMENTS? >> NO, NO, NO.
I ENDORSE ME. [ LAUGHTER ]
ME. YOU WANT THE BEST?
REACH FOR ME. IT'S LIKE BRUSHING YOUR TEETH,
BUT WITH SUGAR. OH-OH.
WITH ME. YEAH, YEAH.
>> THAT'S JUST LIKE A GENERAL AD FOR MINTS?
>> I GUESS SO. I DO SPECIFIC BRANDS, TOO.
>> YEAH, OKAY. >> YEAH.
DO YOU LIKE PEPSI, IT BUT YOU HATE HOW SANITARY IT IS?
THEN REACH FOR HEPSI. YEAH.
IT'S THE ONLY SODA POP THAT'S ALSO A LIQUID STD.
SO WHEN PEOPLE ASK, "YOU GOT HEP?"
YOU CAN TELL THEM, "SI!" WITH HEPSI.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND YOU KNOW? I GOT A NEW TRANSPORTATION APP
TOO. >> A TRANSPORTATION APP?
>> THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S CALLED LIFT.
YOU NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE? LIFT YOUR ASS OFF THE COUCH AND
WALK, MAN! BECAUSE I'M NOT DRIVING YOU!
>> THAT'S AN APP? >> AN APP, BRO!
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHAT IF I CAN'T GET AN ERECTION?
>> UH -- NO, I WAS NOT THINKING THAT, NO, NO.
>> YOU NEED TO TRY CYALIS. >> CYALIS?
DO YOU NEED EXTRA FAT ON YOUR BACK?
GO SEE ALICE. ALICE THAT I KNOW, MAN.
SHE'S VERY PRETTY. BUT IF SHE CAN'T GET YOU
AROUSED, I THINK IT'S BROKE, BRO.
>> BIG PAPI, EVERYONE. >> YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ME!