It's about this time where we get introduced to the drivers in the style of "Death Race 2".
Except this time they actually remember to put the fuckin' chicks in the shot!
They still don't get names, though.
- NERO!
The one black drive in the whole fucking movie and you named him...Nero?
So they're about to start the race when all the sudden...
- Oh, my God, what are you doing?
- Never before has a driver been killed before the race has even begun.
Okay, I guess we can start the race now...
- Introducing Olga Braun.
- Do you want me to drive? - Fuck, it's...
- Death Race's first ever female driver.
Hey, wow. It looks like this movie is a sequel that actually addresses
some criticism...no.
She crashes instantly...
- How does it feel to be the first female race car driver in the
"Death Race" universe?
- I'm quite proud, because it shows some female empowerment and
we have an all-female crew, so with only girls, we can definitely
keep up with all the men.
- It's kinda cool, isn't it cool? It's not just a guys movie, it's
a girls movie too.
You know, I'm not sure how good of an idea it actually was to have this
whole thing set in the fucking desert.
Because to me it doesn't even look like they're racing anymore,
it just looks like they're all driving to the same place.
But don't the cars just look so cool though?...
- What they did with these cars in "Death Race 3", is they made them
look so awesome.
Omni--omnibus, is that word? Omnibus?
Looks...you understand, y'know? These massive...that's really hard to drive.
They were really, the steering wheels, y'know, they're so heavy and, so the,
and then you're in this compact, full of steel, little cage.
- In "Fast Five", they had this high truck in the opening of the movie.
When we started developing "Death Race 3", we heard that they had two cars left,
so we were able to buy them from the "Fast Five" production.
- All these cars were built from scratch, none of these cars are from
the first or second film, so everything was made here in Africa.
I'm blown away when I look at some of these scenes, some of it looks a lot
like a Star Wars, actually, when I look at these things on it.
So anyway, this one driver named Joker tries to fuck up Frankenstein.
- Are you okay, Mr. Frankenstein?
And it's kind of embarrassing how hard they're trying to make him
seem funny in this movie, hence the name.
- You wanna fucking drive? - Could you just not talk?
Just don't talk.
Anyway, he just crashes and...yep.
- Fucking idiot!
Yeah, every single one of those angles is completely necessary,
it really adds to the film.
- We've ten cameras running, so... one of them will have a cool shot.
So now, Frankenstein's being welcomed by a bunch of African fans.
Wait, isn't Death Race pay-per-view?
And for some reason, they've waited until now to introduce this driver.
- PRETTY BOY.
I wonder if anything important is gonna happen to him, in this scene...
Well, looks like his car is fucked. Too bad for him, because if he leaves
his car, his tracking device goes off.
- We've got a runner. We've got a lock on him. - Fire.
Yeah, that's how homing missiles work. They stop like three feet from the
ground, at a random spot and then continue along the same altitude
until they hit their target, right? It's not like a downward angle from the
sky would make more sense or anything...
- Fuck logic. Sometimes you just gotta let your heart and gut tell
you what's right.
Yeah, fuck logic. Come to think of it, that seems like it would be a more
appropriate subtitle for the movie.
Anyway, some Randy blows up, and "Oh no", Frankenstein just barely
get second place.
Looks like he'll have to race some more and fill up some more time in
this fucking movie.
Directly after the race, it looks like someone's gonna try and stab
Frankenstein, Oh No!
Wait, isn't that the exact same guy that won?
Noooooooo, Goldberg...
- What can we expect from Goldberg in this film? How much ass does he kick?
- Well, he gets stabbed, really.
It's that sloppy sequence of events that leads up to the most
cringe worthy scene in the movie.
Goldberg's getting some medical attention but oh, it looks like the
hot nurse's one of his fans.
- Now, I'm gonna need you to drop your trousers.
- Now, I hear you also have a love scene in this...of sorts.
- Yeah buddy. - How much was that written...
- Gorgeous little girl, Kim, uh... God, I forget her last name.
Yeah, this scene isn't unintentionally awkward at all.
If there's one thing that really pisses me off in the production of movies,
it's shitty fucking TV movie quality background music like this,
that screams: "This is supposed to be funny. You get it?
This scene has comedy in it, and you know that, because this music's playing."
It sounds like stock music.
Like you can literally copy and paste this exact same song and
every single shitty TV show about hospitals and no one would even fucking notice.
- Well, it sounds like a, a kind of climax...no pun intended of course.
So, it's the day of the second race and I couldn't help but overhear the
announcer saying something...
- For an additional cost, you can tap in to the closed circuit camera
inside the driver's car.
What? I thought Carl Lucas was supposed to be pretending he's Frankenstein.
How's he supposed to do that if people can see inside his cockpit and he is
not wearing a fucking mask.
Or they're just people watching at home being like: "Oh, Frankenstein
looks oddly familiar without his mask on."
Does nobody care about consistency?
- "Death Race 2" was a prequel to Paul Anderson's movie.
Now in "Death Race 3", we could start from scratch.
The race starts and a weapon marker shows up, but apparently
it's the only one for 25 miles.
- The first one through, it gets the weapons. But if you die, the weapon marker reactivates.
So, everyone's gonna be on your ass.
How does that logic makes sense? If you kill the driver with a weapon,
what good would it do to drive all the way back to the marker?
Sure, you'd get a weapon but how the fuck would you catch up to anybody
after that point?
Is the objective of the race not to win?
Whatever, the movie thinks it makes sense, so I guess it does.
Just don't think about it.
So, Olga gets the weapon and now she's in danger from the
black guy who we've only ever seen from a few two seconds reaction shots.
I mean, at least Pretty Boy got a conveniently timed intro right before
he showed up to do something.
- What you gonna do, bitch?
God damn it. Does anybody remember watching the trailer for "District 9"?
The chills that it gave you from the fresh and original soundtrack using
slow paced, loud, single low note instrument hits?
And then "Inception" came out, and they did almost the exact same thing,
and then they made a lot of money, and then it became the cool thing to do.
Can we please stop?
Can we seriously, just please, stop?
- Eat this! - Oh, shit!
So now, they head into a different township where the locals aren't
exactly supportive of Death Race.
And now, York's reaction to this, is the most awkward laugh of all time.
Anyway, Nero crashes and then gets killed by the locals.
What the fuck was the point of putting that in slow motion?
Is that your fucking answer to everything?
So Frankenstein sees a bunch of random bandits and decides to shoot at them.
BUT WHY?
Is it because he thinks that they'll only retaliate against the other drivers?
I have no fucking clue why he did that.
Well, I guess that's pretty convenient for the sake of people with short attention spans.
A.K.A. this movie's target demographic.
Because there's only so much you can do when you've only got four racers left.
Anyway, looks like whatever unexplained plan Frankenstein had backfired, because
the rebels shoot up his pit crew.
Hey, how do you get outside so fast, I thought you were right the- uhh...
Wait a minute, those are two completely different people.
And it only shows one of those stations blowing up.
Who-who the fuck are these people?
- So I had the camera on my shoulder, looking trough the viewfinder, and "Action!".
And then he does the scene, very emotionally, he starts crying,
the whole thing, and I was soaking up, y'know?
Tears were going all over my cheeks, while I was operating it.
So, Katrina starts mopping outside his cell for whatever reason,
I guess she's allowed to be there.
And Frankenstein wants some alone time with her, so he says:
Uhm, you realize that he's the prisoner here, right?
Why the fuck are you listening to him?
So, by the end of the next race, Frankenstein has weapons and he's in the lead.
So, York decides that the only way to stop him from winning, is to blow
him up with a missile.
But wait, why are you resorting to these measures now?
Was it not also a huge risk for him to win in the first race?
I guess you gotta make the final race seem more significant.
It's not like Frankenstein has been one race away from winning his freedom,
this whole fucking movie.
Well, big surprise, his plan didn't work, 'cuz 14k deploys a countermeasure.
- And of course, y'know, at the end, y'know, 14k saves the day again.
- Saves the day?! - Saves the day.
- Seems like you have one the best roles in this series.
- Well, exactly! I'm one of those characters that, in the movie, and he doesn't do very much,
he's just kinda be around, y'know, he's around, but at the end,
he saves the day.
- You told me that tracking device was foolproof.
- I'm coming to kill you. You hear me, Niles? I'm coming to kill you.
"Damn, there's no way I can kill him now..."
What the fuck's stopping you from firing another missile?
I was under the impression you had, hmmm, I don't know, more than one?
Too bad for those guards, 'cuz Frankenstein just blows them up with his own missiles.
How smart are these fuckin' missiles?
It would make a lot more sense if they were blowing up cars directly
in front of him at the same altitude.
But how do you aim the missile to go to that random tower over there?
He just pressed a fucking button
Same thing for your machine gun to. We can all assume that it has enough
of a spray to hit targets in random places in front of him.
But at that height?
Maybe it's just a super sensitive button that can control the height
of your gunfire depending on how hard you press it.
Whatever, I guess this entire race didn't actually matter at all,
because he lets 14k win.
So, once they find out that Frankenstein's actually coming to kill them,
this woman handcuffs him, so he can't escape.
Frankenstein then recklessly drives into the studio, killing Niles York
and creating a huge explosion on impact.
And by huge I mean, remember how fucking long that tunnel was?
Well, it turns out Frankenstein survived anyway.
So, to set things up for the first movie, we get this scene:
- I leave the task of rebuilding Death Race in your very capable hands.
Hmm, why isn't Joan Allen talking or responding?
Could it be that they never actually filmed her and are just using B-roll
footage from the first movie?
Oh my god, what a twist!
It turns out, the burnt guy that everybody thinks is Frankenstein,
is actually Niles York.
- I'm not Frankenstein! Noooooooooooooo!
- Is everything okay? - No. It's perfect.
WHAT? HOW ARE YOU ALL STILL ALIVE?
Oh, so it turns out, a lot of things happened off-camera.
Carl Lucas secretly made a deal with Weyland to take out Niles York.
And everything went according to plan. He purposely brought the warlords
into the race to stage Danny Trejo's death, meaning his entire plan was completely
banking on the chance that the warlords would actually get in
a vehicle and follow him.
Shoot at the exact moment when they were passing his pit crew.
And also not kill his pit crew, despite the fact that bullets are flying right at them.
He's the new Jigsaw!
But how did you survive that explosion?
Oh, your car had escape pods, that-that launched indoors?
Or were you just really, really lucky that the car was at an angle when you did it?
You could have easily just tipped the roof, you now?
Yeah, looks like they totally had enough time to run away from that
explosion, that destroyed the whole fucking prison.
And this woman was helping the whole time!
- Psst! The coast is clear.
And hey, here's Lists...but how-how the fuck did he get there?
So, if we were to assume that this location where they're standing right
now, is easily accessible to prisoners?
Because Lists had no trouble getting there.
Then, what the fuck was the point of staging Danny Trejo's death?
Why didn't they just...not do that and then have Trejo show up with
Lists at the end?
- A lot of people who don't like a whole lot of thinking,
"Let's go be entertained" and that's what this is,
this is entertainment.
Doesn't seem like there'll be any issues with the fact that
they be missing convicts.
I mean, they're inviting Lists to go with them, even though he says:
- I'm not going. In prison, things make sense.
And, plus, someone has to stay behind.
A witness to tell the tale.
- What you're doing isn't logical. - Yeah, he's right.
Someone once told me, fuck logic.
Let your heart tell you what's right.
Yeah, let's let one of our best friends stay incarcerated
his whole life.
- To Lists. - To Lists.
Someone's gotta live to tell the tale to the rest of the convicts.
It's super important, even though he never once decides to mention it to
Jason Statham in the first movie.
Let's just take his word for it that is not well adjusted to the outside world.
It's not like any of us could try to help them with that problem or something.
The End.
- I'd do whatever you got, y'know?
You want me to play a tree? I'll play a tree, y'know.
You wanna put fruit on it? It pays me more money.
- Yesterday, at the screening, somebody was saying about Death Race 4?
- Oh, I don't know if I'll be apart of the fourth one, I mean...
Despite this movie being extremely enjoyable when you're on something...
- This is Africa, son of a bitch!
It just felt as if something was missing...
- Eat my lead, boy! Eat my lead! - Hillbilly.
Regardless, we all know one thing for sure.
And that's that everything that Roel touches, turns to shit.
He's got the Midas touch. Except with poop.
- For me, there should be Death Race 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...
We can continue, forever.
- You like playing the bad guy, but there's a very specific reason, correct?
- That's easy.
- You're like, I got this!
- You know what is, is that I like working, y'know, I like working.
It seems the bad guy always seems to work more than uhh...
...than uhh...uhhh... ...who do you say it?...
...more than, than anybody else.