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(Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)
Wiz: Some people are born to be heroes or villains.
But many are thrust upon these roles with very little regard and must simply make the best of their new stressful life.
Boomstick: Like Black Widow, the covert enemy turned ally of the Avengers.
Wiz: And Widowmaker, the deadly but unwitting adversary of Overwatch.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!
Natalia Romanov, more commonly known as the anglicized Natasha Romanoff, is one of the more curious members of the legendary Avengers.
Boomstick: Yeah, unlike most of them, she doesn't have any ridiculous superpowers.
And she even started out as a bad guy!
Wiz: Like many secret agents, Natasha's past is a mystery.
One account claimed she was raised by a soldier named Ivan Petrovich, who taught her the art of combat.
His teachings were so affluent, that Natasha was kidnapped by an order of assassins known as The Hand, intending to train her as their master assassin.
Boomstick: Luckily, Wolverine and Captain Boy Scout rescued her.
But, she eventually put her talents to use, workin' for the KGB and becomin' a famous ballerina.
Wiz: However, the most likely story was that Petrovich admitted a young Natasha to a secret soviet program called the Black Widow Ops.
There, in the infamous Red Room, Natasha was trained to be the deadliest spy in the world.
Boomstick: She learned all sorts of stealth, assassination, and martial arts techniques.
Includin' the newly invented Sambo style.
Which is basically like street fightin' Judo mixed with the craziest grapplin' moves ever.
Like, how does she even do that?
Are Russians magic?
Wiz: She learned dozens of other martial arts, including Karate, Mui Tay, Aikido, and Kung Fu.
Boomstick: And she's mastered all sorts of weaponry, becomin' an expert marksman.
Damn, sign me up for the spider ops!
Wiz: Don't get the wrong idea.
The Red Room was Brutal.
Natasha was brainwashed, literally programmed with false memories, which included her days as a ballerina.
She was even forced to duel other members to the death.
Crazy to think about considering how much went into each one's training.
But all the more to transform her into the ultimate stone-cold spy, codenamed Black Widow.
Boomstick: Eh, sometimes that's what you got to do if you want to be a winner.
When I was a kid, Mama Boomstick trained me and some friends to eat over 60 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
I was the only one who survived.
Wiz: That's...
Wow.
Boomstick: You should see comin' out.
Wiz: Well while Natasha was plenty deadly on her own she got one more gift from the Red Room.
Boomstick: A Super Soldier Serum.
Because at the time everyone in there dog was trying to make the next Captain America.
But she wound up with the knockoff dollar store version 'cause the Nazis decided to kill the only person in the world who knew how to make it.
Seriously what was this guy thinkin'?
Wiz: Even still she received some impressive benefits.
Including a beyond Olympic level physique inhuman resistance to poison and disease and slowed aging.
Boomstick: So she gets to keep her good looks for over a century.
Wiz: And run up to 35 miles an hour.
Boomstick: Just as pretty good too.
Wiz: As the Black Widow Natasha quickly proved her dominance over her peers soon becoming the KGB's top operative.
Taking on the most perilous of missions It wasn't long until she found herself face to face with an adversary who proved her match...
Iron Man.
Boomstick: Hey when it takes a super suit with enough mutagen to wipe out a whole city to stop you.
Y'know you're pretty good at what you do.
Wiz: To destroy Iron Man and his team of Avengers.
Black Widow recruited Hawkeye and attempted to sway him to the dark side.
But to her surprise.
The exact opposite happened.
Boomstick: Yeah it turns out Hawkeye is so goddamn handsome that he literally love-struck the brainwashin' out of her.
Wiz: And so Black Widow betrayed her country and became an ally of the Avengers.
And while keeping up with the likes of Iron Man and Thor is no easy feat.
She held her own not just with her amazing talents, but also her plethora of gear and gadgets.
Boomstick: Where does she keep them all in that bodysuit?
It's like super tight.
I mean not that I'm complainin' or anythin', but the legistics are babblin'.
Wiz: Well, not only is her suit composed of an abnormally durable Kevlar she has several gadgets hidden within her gauntlets.
The Widow's line is a retractable grappling hook that lets her swing like Spider-Man.
Cartridges of tear gas pellets and explosives serve obvious purposes and then there's the Widow's Bite.
Boomstick: What like a spider bite and how's that supposed to...
(Boomstick being electrocuted)
Huh?
Wow.
That was pretty...
Shocking Wiz!
(Laughs)
You broke your glasses idiot!
Oh, god I've seen this comin'!
Wiz: Even without the KGB Black Widow remains one of the top assassins in the world.
She's so skilled with a sniper rifle, she could cut Hawkeye's bowstring while he's in mid shot forcing him to miss his target.
To put this in perspective the average thickness of compound bow string is about one hundred of an inch thick.
That's as thin as a fingernail.
And she made this shot from hundreds of feet away.
Boomstick: She's quick enough to easily dodge point-blank gunfire skilled enough to defeat 100 men by herself.
And strong enough to snap a guy's neck with just one kick.
Wiz: Pretty impressive as it takes around 600 pounds of force to break the human neck.
Boomstick: She's so goddamn tough she's takin' a grenade to the face from a few feet away and she was fine.
She fell four stories through a mounted sight into a car and she was fine.
So much for that Super Serum being dollar-store junk right?
Wiz: Well this durability extends beyond physical toughness after all she doesn't exactly have bulletproof skin or anything like that.
Rather she possesses a staggeringly strong drive to survive.
No matter what.
Boomstick: Yeah, like the time when she had to go through intensive surgery while she was still conscious.
Just imagine she felt every cut, every pole, every movement as the surgeon sliced open her stomach and sewed up her insides.
Despite the incredible pain throughout this entire ordeal which likely lasted several hours for her own sake she could not move a muscle.
Boomstick: I think I'm gonna throw up.
Oh that reminds me of my vasectomy.
Both of 'em.
Wiz: But even alongside the Avengers; Natasha maintains a gray sense of morality.
Her path to redemption has been a rocky one as her personal quest to destroy the Red Room has left a trail of bodies in its wake.
Boomstick: This is one red head you don't want mess with.
Wiz: While the stories of many world-class assassins often carry a truckload of baggage.
Few are quite as heartbreaking as the case of Amélie Lacroix.
Boomstick: That's even more true than you think, but we'll get there.
Wiz: Growing up, Amélie never aspired or trained for combat.
In fact, she devoted much of her life to becoming a world-renowned ballerina in Paris, France.
Boomstick: Y'know, I've noticed it's almost a requirement for all badass assassins to be ballerinas or somethin'.
So I've started workin' on a few moves myself.
Wiz: What, wait hold on!
Amélie's husband, however, was a key figure for Overwatch.
A global peacekeeping organization spearheading operations against a terrorist group called Talon.
Boomstick: Talon tried over and over to kill this guy, but they just couldn't pull it off.
So instead, they kidnapped Amélie.
Damn!
Not cool.
Wiz: Thankfully, Overwatch quickly rescued her, and life returned to normal.
Boomstick: Or did it?
Nope!
Because out of nowhere, Amélie killed her hubbie in his sleep.
Wiz: Turns out, the kidnapping wasn't just a simple ransom or attempted lure.
Talon ruthlessly subjected Amélie to intense neurological reconditioning.
Molding her into the perfect brainwashed sleeper agent.
Boomstick: Right, because she was sleepin' next to him in their bed and then bam!
First kill!
Sleeper agent!
Wiz: Right, sure.
She returned to Talon to complete their psychological and physiological reconfiguration process.
When all was said and done.
Amélie Lacroix was no more.
In her place stood the cold-hearted assassin known as Widowmaker.
Boomstick: Ah, I get why she's called Widowmaker!
Though it is kind of weird that the widow she was makin'...
Was her.
Wiz: Brilliant deduction, Boomstick.
Widowmaker embodies the coldhearted killer trope so well, it's actually literal.
Talon's experiments slowed her heart rate and suppressed her emotions.
Turning her into an actual cold-blooded killing machine.
Hence the cold blue skin.
Boomstick: That's not really a thing is it?
Turnin' your skin blue like that?
I just figured she was the girl Smurf all grown up.
It's gotta be some trauma.
Wiz: There's actually a pretty easy way to turn your skin blue.
You just need to drink some coal oil silver.
Boomstick: Uh is it safe?
Wiz: Oh yeah. Sure. No doubt. It's 100% non-toxic silver.
Boomstick: Okay bottoms up.
Wiz: (laughs)
Anyway, the blue makeover wasn't just for show with her heart rate down her body's movements and vibrations are highly reduced.
Boomstick: The blood pulsin' through your hands can actually bump up your shot.
It's not by a lot but when you're aimin' at somethin' a thousand yards away even a tiny bit of movement matters.
Wiz: This might not sound too difficult until you consider that a typical human heart rate in a stressful situation can exceed 100 beats per minute.
A perfect sniper has to time their shots between almost two beats per second.
Boomstick: So even though she's started pretty late Widowmaker skip years of killin' people school with just this one little tweak.
Wiz: Talon's manifesto is that humanity is made stronger through conflict.
And so Widowmaker was taught a variety of different combat and covert techniques to be ready for any violent possibilities.
Boomstick: She's ridiculously athletic.
Just look at her go.
And she's got plenty of handy tools to help her kill people even faster.
Wiz: She carries a grappling hook with a 65-foot cable perfect for getting around any terrain in an instant.
Her Venom Mines stick to most surfaces and after being triggered by movement release a deadly toxin.
Boomstick: And give her a ping in her funny-lookin' spider helmet.
Wiz: That's Widowmaker's Recon Visor.
Basically multi-screen super goggles.
They provide infrared sight that spots heat signatures through walls and transmits multiple feets.
Boomstick: Then there's her signature weapon the one the only Widow's Kiss.
It may look like an oversized SMG but with a click of a button it turns into a badass Sniper Rifle.
As a sniper this baby can fire at four different levels of power a fully charged shot hits ten times stronger than a standard one.
Makin' the Widow's Kiss one of the deadliest rifles in the world.
Unless you're wearin' some really heavy armor.
It'll kill pretty much anyone with just one shot.
Wiz build me one now.
Wiz: Yeah with your luck your handle probably gets stuck in one of the moving parts and I'll have to be the one to amputate it and build you a mechanical replacement.
Yeah I'm in.
Boomstick: You don't know that.
Stupid Wiz!
Wiz: Widowmaker is one of Talon's top agents and has the feats to prove it.
She's taken on Overwatch members multiple times.
Effortlessly defeating some of their own top agents like fellow sniper Anna Amari whose cybernetic eye can see six times greater than a normal one.
And she pulls this off while achieving ulterior goals such as when she baited Tracer into unknowingly allowing her to assassinate a diplomat.
That's some intense on-the-fly multitasking.
Boomstick: And she's way tougher than she looks.
Her visor can protect her from a sniper shot to the face and she even took a hit from Doomfist Gauntlet.
This thing can take down a skyscraper.
But she was fine.
While it wasn't wielded by Doomfist himself at the time it clearly struck with some serious power.
An average skyscraper ranges between 250 to 300 feet tall.
To topple in one go you'd need a force equivalent to at least 2 tons of TNT.
Boomstick: You sure Talon didn't slip her some super serum and a drink or anythin'?
'Cause that's ridiculous.
Wiz: Also Wild Range combat may be her forte Widowmaker is skilled enough to take out an entire armed security force up close while avoiding their gunfire.
Boomstick: The blue bombshell can do it all.
Kind of sucks that Talon trained her of all emotion 'cause now she can't appreciate how badass she is.
Kind of like how I sometimes forget I have a shotgun for a leg.
Until it...
AAH! (Shotgun shot)
Wiz: God I hate when that happens.
Talon's experiments may have yielded astounding results.
But I'm not sure they were quite so thorough.
In fact every Christmas a certain blue skinned woman can be found leaving a rose at her late husband's grave.
So maybe just maybe.
Amélie isn't quite gone for good.
Widowmaker: A single death can change everything.
Wiz: All right the combatants are set.
And we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: But first...
Wiz: The internet is a complicated beast.
Just think about how often you use public online networks like in hotels, restaurants, airports.
Boomstick: Or when I borrow my neighbors Wi-Fi I because they never setup the password.
Wiz: For those of us who want to protect our privacy this can be disastrous.
Public networks can get certain hackers ways to steal your info such as credit cards and emails.
The best way to protect yourself is with a virtual private network and ExpressVPN has you covered.
Boomstick: ExpressVPN uses their digital magic to encrypt your internet data.
Shieldin' it from anybody who's tryin' to dig their way in.
Wiz: And as the name implies ExpressVPN is consistently faster than other VPN providers.
With server locations in 94 countries around the world there's of options to choose from.
And as a bonus you can make your internet think you're in someplace a little more exotic.
Boomstick: Like Canada.
Wiz: Take back your internet privacy today and find out how you can get three months free by clicking the link below.
Or by going expressvpn.com/battle
Boomstick: But right now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Widowmaker: Je te vois...
Black Widow: Got you...
Widowmaker: It's finished.
Rendez-vous immediately.
Black Widow: Trying to escape me?
No chance.
Widowmaker: Abort!
Abort!
Ugh, you've got to be kidding me...
What makes you think you can sneak up on me!?
Black Widow: I'm a goddamn Avenger...
Widowmaker: I can survive anything.
Black Widow: Nice theory.
Let's test it!
Dasvidaniya.
Announcer: KO
Boomstick: Damn!
Which one was the cold-hearted chick again?
Wiz: Given her history Natasha obviously brought a lot more combat experience to the battle than Widowmaker.
Even still this was far from one-sided.
Widowmaker's arsenal in particular made it difficult for Natasha to outgun her in ranged combat.
Except for the Venom Mine given her enhanced immune system.
Boomstick: But what's Widowmaker was disarmed something which seems to happen a lot Natasha got the upper hand like literally she's way better at hand-to-hand.
That's a no brainer just based on how many martial arts she knows her super serum boost and how many people she's had to judo to death.
They both could dodge bullets and were expert shots.
But Widowmaker has never shown capabilities equal to Natasha breaking a neck and one strike.
Running 35 miles per hour or shooting a moving bowstring.
Boomstick: They were pretty evenly matched when it came to takin' hits though.
Natasha took a grenade to the face while Widowmaker got hit by Doomfist Gauntlet.
Wiz: Yes, but while the Gauntlet can take down a skyscraper, even Doomfist's own hands it certainly doesn't seem capable of doing so with only one hit.
Much less in the hands of a skinny teenager.
Boomstick: Hell Doomfist escape prison by punching through a concrete wall with his bare fists.
I don't think hoodie kid's gonna pull that off.
Just a hunch.
Widowmaker's certainly had her moments.
But she just couldn't match Natasha's greater speed, precision and decades of experience.
Boomstick: She just couldn't find that "Widow" of opportunity.
Wiz: The winner is Black Widow.
Ben: Hey thanks for watching this episode of DEATH BATTLE!
If you want the battle music for yourself you can get by clicking the link below.
Chad: Or you can click over there and check out one of those other videos.