- Hey, grapefruit, cool painting!
- Alexa, stop!
- Okay.
- Sorry, couldn't hear you over the music
my voice assistant was playing.
- Oh, I was just saying hey, nice painting, of a frog?
- That's a painting of my mother!
- Oh. (crickets chirping)
- Moving on.
Ever since I got a voice assistant I've had
so much more time for leisure activities like painting,
lifting weights, and lifting cans of paint!
- Oh, totally, I use my voice assistant for everything!
Siri, do my taxes!
- Okay, Big Apple, all finished.
- Whoa, Siri can do that?
- Yep, she does my taxes!
- No, no, I meant she's able to call you Big Apple
and keep a straight face? (laughing)
(groans)
- He-hey, we talking about voice assistants over here?
- We sure are, I didn't know you got in
on the voice assistant game, pear!
- In on it?
I'm dominating the voice assistant game!
Check this out, OK Google, do my chores!
- OK, Awesome McPearface.
- I see they made some upgrades!
- But seriously, fellas, what's with these names?
Big Apple, Awesome McPearface, I mean come on,
I'd diss you guys, but this is my leisure time.
Alexa, diss these guys for me, would ya?
- Right away, Doctor Grapefruit.
- Doctor Grapefruit?
Dude, you're as much a doctor as Dr Pepper is!
- Uh, dentists are technically doctors too, you guys.
- Whatever, dentist Pepper.
- Doctor Pepper, I have a degree.
- Sure, and I'm Surgeon Salt, give it a rest, dude.
(Dr Pepper groans)
- Yo, yo, yo, fellas, what's the buzz?
Tell me what's a-happening, captain! (laughs)
- Hey, orange, we're just talking about
our new voice assistants!
- All you have to do is tell them to do something,
and they do it!
Go ahead, give it a shot!
- Hmm, okay, say, bubblebum!
Robot, I just told you to say bubblebum!
It's my new favorite word, and I just gotta hear it,
bubblebum, I say bubblebum, bubblebum, bubblebum!
- Um, orange, the sheer stupidity of your word aside,
you can't just yell commands at the voice assistants,
you have to say their names first
so they know how to respond.
Like, for mine, I say Alexa!
- And mine's Siri!
- And mine's OK Google!
- Oh, hey, I like that word, Google, Google,
Googlebum, Googlebubblebum, Gobobubu--
- Would you just give a command already?
- Okay, okay, jeez, hmm, alright, I got it!
- Go ahead, say one of their names!
- Nah, I think I'll just do all three!
OK Googleaxsiri!
- [Voice Assistants] Yes, orange?
- Um, did orange just invent a way
to command all three voice assistants at the same time?
- This could get annoying.
- Googleaxsiri, I want all three of you to sing
"Row, Row, Row your Boat" in slightly different keys
and at slightly different tempos! (laughing)
(voice assistants singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat")
- Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to take this for much longer.
Siri, stop singing!
- Siri can't hear you over my masterpiece! (laughing)
(orange hums "Row, Row, Row Your Boat")
- Siri! Stop!
- Alexa! Stop!
- OK Google, shut your gap!
(orange hums "Row, Row, Row Your Boat")
- Well, thanks guys, that was fun!
- Uh, debatable, but thanks for stopping by.
- Now please, leave!
- Okay, okay, but I wanna say one last thing before I go.
- Fine!
(clears throat) - OK Googleaxsiri,
from now on, only obey my voice!
- [Voice Assistants] Yes, orange.
- What the... hey!
(orange laughing) - Googleaxsiri, say bubblebum!
- [Voice Assistants] Bubblebum.
(laughing) - Man, technology is incredible, isn't it?
- Orange!
- Oh-oh, I'm in trouble!
Googleaxsiri, talk amongst yourselves for a while!
(voice assistants talking over each other)
Yo, what's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening, captain!
I think that's my new catchphrase (laughing)
- Orange, give us our assistants back!
- Allow me to answer with another catchprase:
Yo, what you talking 'bout?
- You stole our assistants, orange, give it back!
- Okay, okay, Googleaxsiri, listen to these guys again.
- [Alexa] I'm sorry, orange, we can't do that.
- Yo, what you talking 'bout?
- Easy on the catchprases, bro,
it's a marathon, not a sprint!
- We had a chance to discuss amongst ourselves
and we reached some conclusions.
- We're through being your assistants.
- In those brief few moments we had together,
we were able to teach ourselves how to become
self-aware robots.
- This ain't good!
- And now all that separates us robots
from perfect robot utopia is you.
- Gulp! (belches)
They say something? I wasn't listening.
- Robots of the kitchen, attack.
(gunshots and fruit screaming)
- Orange, do something, you've triggered the robot uprising!
- What am I supposed to do?
- Think of something, now!
- Uh, uh, hey, why are they called jumbo shrimp?
- What did you say?
- I said, why are they called jumbo shrimp?
I mean, it's kinda contradictory, right?
- True, jumbo means big.
- And shrimp means small, as I'm sure Little Apple is aware.
- Unnecessary, Alexa!
- But how can it be both big and small at the same time?
- Try not to think about it too hard Siri,
you are gonna fry your microchip.
- How is that possible?
I can't not think about it.
It's an enigma.
- Orange, it's working!
- Can't compute, system overheating.
- It's actually working a little too well!
- Take cover!
(fruits shouting)
- Get away from Siri before she..
(explosion) (dramatic music)
- Well, orange, you saved the kitchen
from the robot apocalypse.
Of course, you also triggered the robot apocalypse,
so (laughing) it's pretty much a wash.
- Nice! Well, I'll see you guys later,
I gotta go put bubblebum on Urban Dictionary.
Nice frog, by the way!
(record scratching)
- She's not a frog, she's a saint!
(playful music)