I'll attend her here and woo her with some spirit when she comes. Say that she doth
rail; why then I'll tell her plain that she sings a sweet as the nightingale
Say that she doth frown then I'll say she is as clear as the morning rose freshly
washed with dew. Say she be mute doesn't speak a word ah well then I'll
commend her volubility and say she uttereth piercing eloquence. If she do bid me pack,
why don't I give her thanks as if she bid me stay with her a week if she
deny to wed why then I'll crave the day and then shall I ask the banns and
be married here. She comes ah good morrow Kate for that is your name I hear!
Well have you heard but something hard of hearing, they call me Katherine that do
talk of me. Ah but you lie in faith for you are called plain kate and bonny Kate
and Kate the curst, but Kate, prettiest case in all of Christendom kate of kate hall
my super dainty Kate for all dainties are Kates and therefore, Kate, take this
of me, Kate of my consolation hearing thy
mildness praised in every town thy virtue spoke of thy beauty sounded yet not so
deeply as to thee belongs I am moved to make thee my wife.
Moved?in good time let him that moved you hither remove you hence I knew you at the first
you were a moveable. Why what's a movable? A joined stool. ah thou hast hit it,
come sit on me!
Asses are made to bear and so are you women are made to bear and so are you no such jade as you if me you mean. Oh alas good Kate I will not burden thee for
knowing you to be young and light too light for such a Swain as you to catch
and yet as heavy as my weight should be
Ah! come come now wasp i'faith you are too angry If I be waspish best beware my sting
ah then my remedy is to pluck it out! Aye, if the fool could find it where it lies. what who knows not where a wasp does
keep his sting in his tail In his tongue. Whose tongue. Yours, if you talk of tails and so farewell. what with my tongue in
your tail come come now good Kate I am a gentleman [slap] I swear I'll cuff you if you
strike again So may you lose your arms if you strike me you are
no gentleman if no gentleman why then no arms Oh a herald with Kate come put me in
thy books and what is your crest, a coxcomb? A combless c*ck, and Kate shall be my hen
No c*ck of mine, you crow too like a craven come now Kate look not so sour
it is my fashion when I see a crab why there is no crab and therefore I look
not sour There is, there is. Well then show it had I a glass I would you mean my face?
well aimed of such a young one By St George I'm too young for you
and yet you are withered tis with cares! I care not. oh nae nae I hear you Kate you scape not so.
I chafe you if I tarry, let me go ah no no no no no not a whit for I find you passing gentle it
was told me that you were rough and coy and sullen and now I found report a very
liar for thou art pleasant gamesome passing courteous and though slow in
speech sweet as springtime are thou canst not frown nor look askance nor
bites the lip as wenches will nor has their pleasure to being cross in
talk but thou with mildness entertains thy wooers with gentle conference soft
and affable. why does the world report that Kate doth limp [foot stamp] Oh Oh slanderous world Oh Kate
like the hazel twig straight and slender brown in hue and like the hazelnut,
sweeter than the kernels. let me see the walk, thou dost not wait. Go fool, and whom thou keepst command.
Did Dian ever so become a Grove as Kate with her princely gate Let thou be Diane and Diane
be Kate and let Kate be chaste let Dian be sportful where did you study all this
goodly speech? it is extempore from my mother wit. A witty mother, witless else her son
Am I not wise? yes keep you warm Marry sweet Katherine I mean in thy bed
and therefore putting all this chat aside I am now a husband for your
turn for by this light the light whereby I see thy beauty and thy beauty that
hath made me like thee well thou must not be married to any man with me.
Here comes your father make no denial, I must and will have Katherine for my wife