And no more of that daytime slop!
Krabby Patties aren't slop.
Gotta be something they like in here. No.
No.
Nope.
No.
Nope.
[gasping] Oh, no!
[screaming]
Ooh. Oh, now look a here.
Night Patties, now you're getting the swing of it.
N-N-Night Patties?
Order up, people!
Night Patties.
Tasty.
Smooth.
Ah.
Smokey.
[cheering]
[dinging]
♪ I'm ready, I'm ready For a new job, for a new job ♪
♪ I'm ready for a new job I'm ready ♪
Greetings, purveyor of elongated sausage products!
I would love to work at your establishment.
Well, you do look enthusiastic.
Hmm. All right, kid. Let's see what you got.
So, this is the kitchen.
Hmm.This grill is not in very good shape.
Oh, we don't use the grill.
We cook everything on the roller.
[screaming]
Good luck, kid.
Hmm. There's something not quite right about this food,
but I'm not sure what it is. Ah ha!
[burping]
Hey! Where are those weenies?
[groaning]
Your weenies, sir.
What in the name
of Davy Jones' gym shorts are these?
They're weenie patties.
What are you some kind of nut? You've ruined my weenies!
You're fired!
Aah! But, Mr. Krabs, why?
- Mr. Who? - I mean, Mr. Wiener!
Just go.
Well that was a setback.
[dinging]
Sir, will you please order already?
You're holding up the line.
Uh.
Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.
I've made my decision!
Hooray!
One Krabby Patty for me
and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.
Now, wait just a darn minute!
Awe!
I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty!
I want an adult size Krabby Patty!
The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.
Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child!
The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach.
[laughing]
And that's another thing, I'm not a boy!
I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles
on my liver spots.
One Pipsqueak patty... and your bib and highchair.
[laughing]
I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!
Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?
Feed this, old man!
Ooh!
I'm tired of playing second banana
to a man who wears a bra!
From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man!
And, I'm through with protecting citizens
that don't respect me!
I respect you, Barnacle Man.
That's Barnacle Boy, I-I mean, Man! I...
Ohh... forget you people.
I say if you're not going to give me any respect
as a hero, then maybe
you'll give me respect as a villain.
A villain who is... evil!
Evil?
Evil!
[dinging]
We're as good as Yeti food! I blame Squidward!
Guys, do you hear that?
You mean the sound of my own flesh
sizzling to a crisp?
No, I'm talking about the sound of a hungry customer.
He doesn't want to eat us for being lazy,
he wants to eat us because he's hungry.
Fellas, leave this to me.
Way to go, boy! He loves it!
And look, he's a paying customer.
Come back and see us anytime, Mr. Yeti Krab!
[dinging]
Where's the love?
SpongeBob, what happened to the Krabby Patties?!
I tried to tell them... but they wouldn't listen to me!
This is obscene.
Carl, I need to have a word...!
Your change is $1.75.
Automated cash register?!
No!
Hey, Carl, what have you done with me restaurant?
Processed Krabby Patties? Computerized registers?
Look around you. Our customers are quite content
with the contrived and the mediocre.
[snoring]
That's because they don't know what they're eating.
Excuse me, ma'am, do you know
what's in that Krabby Patty you're eating?
No. [screaming]
See that? Without all your smoke and mirrors,
no one would stomach this garbage.
What'd he say? Garbage?
[screaming]
[dinging]
The key to defeating the patty is you, SpongeBob.
All I have to do is get you close enough to it
so you can make direct contact.
Direct contact? Are you sure?
The puzzle cube never lies.
Okay, we have a visual.
Putting you into position SpongeBob.
Okay, bye.
Well, giant patty, I guess it's just you and me.
Wait, what was I supposed to do again?
Just make direct contact!
Direct contact. You mean like this?
It's working! Keep going, SpongeBob!
You can do!
Ooh, my body... filling with Krabby Patty.
Enormous pain.
Never absorbed this much Krabby Patty
into my body before.
In fact, never absorbed any Krabby Patties into my body,
come to think of it.
[groaning]
Okay, what do I do, now?
[dinging]
You remember Mr. Krabs.
He's the man who brought you the Krabby Patty.
[murmuring in agreement]
And he's the man who brought you the Double Krabby Patty,
and the Krabby Patty with cheese,
and the Bratty Patty for kids.
Um, a little help here!
He also created the Chatty Patty for teens.
And who can forget the Hatty Patty,
the patty you wear as a hat!
I wear it because I'm bald.
Well, I guess any man who invented the Hatty Patty
can't be all bad. Okay, let's get him out.
Whoa! Man overboard! [screaming]
No! Mr. Krabs!
Well, I guess that solves that problem.
[music playing]
I know you'll come back to us, Mr. Krabs!
[dinging]
There it is.
[gasping] Holy shrimp!
I don't know where to start.
Well, all that matters is that it's just you
and me, and nobody--
Squidward? Is that you?
SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here?
I always come to work at 3:00 a.m.
This is when I count the sesame seeds.
What are you doing here?
Uhh, I forgot my--
And why is the patty vault open?
Oh, I thought that...
And why are you holding a patty behind your back?
I... I... I... no, I didn't do...
And why are you acting so nervous?
And why are you sweating so much?
And why do you look so hungry? And...
No, no, wait... it's not what you think.
Th-this is a big misunderstanding.
You've got to believe me, I... Listen, I am telling you...
You better listen to me, SpongeBob!
You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward?
Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob! I love Krabby Patties!
I knew it all along, Squidward.
No one can resist a Krabby Patty!
Squidward! How many are you eating?
Squidward!
[laughing]
Squidward, you can't eat all those patties at one time!
Squidward!
What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?
No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs!
My thighs?
And then you'll blow up!
[siren blaring]
Yeah, [laughs]
I remember my first Krabby Patty.