>> Jon: WHAT YOU GOT THERE, STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: IT'S A BABY SPARROW, JON.
I FOUND HIM IN MY DRIVEWAY.
I'M NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH.
>> Jon: SEE, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU, STEPHEN, YOU
LIKE TO HELP OTHERS.
IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, HOLD ON A SECOND --
( HEAVING ) SORRY, JON.
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING WAS BEAUTIFUL?
>> Jon: LET'S JUST ROLL THE NEXT THING.
( LAUGHTER ) ♪
♪ >> Stephen: WE JUST HIT
ANOTHER CULTURAL MILESTONE BECAUSE AFTER THE RECENT CLOSING
OF TWO BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO STORES IN ALASKA, AMERICA HAS JUST ONE
BLOCKBUSTER LEFT IN OREGON, WHICH MEANS I AM NOW ONE STEP
AWAY FROM TAKING PERMANENT POSSESSION OF THE CUTTING EDGE.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU WILL SOON BE MINE FOREVER.
THAT'S JUST ANOTHER THING FADING AWAY THAT YOUNG PEOPLE WILL NOT
GET TO EXPERIENCE LIKE SENDING A FAX OR PAYING FOR PORNOGRAPHY.
( LAUGHTER ) SO I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT
IT.
I WANT TO GIVE THE YOUNGER GENERATION TONIGHT A SHOT AT AN
EXPERIENCE THAT WILL SOON BE GONE FOREVER AND IT STARTS RIGHT
NOW.
DO WE HAVE MILLENNIALS IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT?
DO WE HAVE A MILLENNIAL?
( APPLAUSE ) YOU'RE NOT MILLENNIAL.
YOU'RE NOT A MILLENNIAL.
ARE YOU A MILLENNIAL?
COME WITH ME.
COME ON, YOU'RE A MILLENNIAL.
HERE WE GO.
WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK DOWN HERE.
COME ON.
THIS IS -- HOLD ON.
THIS RIGHT HERE, THIS IS -- WE CALL THIS THE BILL MURRAY DOOR,
OKAY, BECAUSE HE USED TO COME IN AND OUT OF THIS DOOR A LOT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
>> YEAH, FROM WES ANDERSON MOVIES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE DEFINITELY A PLIRNL LET'S GO.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME.
>> CHRISTINE.
>> Stephen: FROM NEW YORK?
NO, MISSOURI.
>> Stephen: THE SHOW ME STATE.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING, WE'RE COMING UP ON ONE RIGHT
NOW, THEY'RE DISAPPEARING ALL OVER AMERICA, BUT I WANTED TO
GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO USE SOMETHING THAT YOUR AGE NEVER
EVER HAS TO DEAL WITH.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: HERE IT IS, OKAY.
DO YOU -- DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A PHONE BOOTH.
>> Stephen: IT'S A PHONE BOOTH.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU DO IN A PHONE BOOTH?
>> YOU CAN CALL PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN.
YOU CAN.
IT'S ONE TO HAVE THE THINGS YOU CAN DO.
IT'S ALSO AN OPEN-AIR URINE, ALSO.
HAVE YOU EVER USED A PHONE BOOTH BEFORE?
>> I HAVE NOT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE NOT USED A PHONE BOOTH?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: I FEEL YOUNG.
DO YOU LIKE TO TEXT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I HEAR MILLENNIALS TEXT MORE THAN PHONE CALLS.
>> YEAH, I LIKE TO TEXT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN TEXT ON THIS, TOO.
YOU PICK UP THE PHONE, DIAL THE PERSON YOU WANT TO TEXT AND TELL
THEM IS WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TEXTED.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GREAT, MAKE A PHONE CALL.
DO YOU HAVE ANY QUARTERS ON YOU.
>> NO, NO QUARTERS.
DO YOU HAVE QUARTERS?
>> Stephen: I HAVE QUARTERS.
OKAY.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
HOLD THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THESE BEFORE?
THEY'RE LIKE VENMO YOU CAN TOUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY?
ALL RIGHT?
>> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS?
WHAT'S YOUR GUESS ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS?
>> I THINK YOU PUT IT IN THERE, IN THE, LIKE, SLOT.
>> Stephen: GO AHEAD, AND GIVE IT A SHOT.
>> OKAY.
OH, NO.
>> Stephen: I HAVE MORE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I'M RICH.
I HAVE A TV SHOW.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
PICK IT UP.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: NOW, DIAL A PHONE NUMBER.
DO YOU KNOW ANY PHONE NUMBERS OTHER THAN YOURSELF OR YOUR
PARENTS'?
YOU CAN'T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE.
>> NO, I JUST DON'T.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW ANY PHONE NUMBERS?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: SEE, YOU ACTUALLY HAD TO KNOW PHONE NUMBERS WHEN
THESE WERE AROUND.
>> I CAN'T DO THAT.
>> Stephen: CALL THE PIZZA PLACE.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE NUMBER.
1-917-261-4204.
IS IT RINGING IN THERE?
>> THANK YOU FOR CALLING NA POLLTON EXPRESS.
THIS IS ANGIE.
>> HI, CAN I GET FIVE LARGE CHEESE PIZZAS?
>> FIVE LARGE CHEESE PIZZAS?
SURE, CAN I HAVE A NAME FOR THAT ORDER?
>> CHRISTINE.
ALL RIGHT, CHRISTINE, GIVE IT ABOUT FIVE OR SIX MINUTES.
>> THANK YOU.
, BYE-BYE.
>> Stephen: DID IT WORK?
IT WORKED!
>> Stephen: ONE MORE.
FACE THE CAMERA.
I'LL WHISPER WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY IN THE PHONE BOOTH IF THIS WAS
IS HAY DAY OF PHONE BOOTHS.
READY?
>> YES.
( WHISPERING ) >> Stephen: REPEAT WHAT I SAY.
OPERATOR.
GET ME KLONDIKE 5232.
I HAVE TO GET MY LOVER BEFORE HE SHIPS OFF TO THE WAR.
( WHISPERING ) >> WE HAD A FIGHT AND I DON'T
WANT HIM TO FACE THE JERRIES WITHOUT MY LOVE.
JERRY SEINFELD?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T HAVE A
RED WAVE IN A REPUBLICAN PRIMARY.
A REPUBLICAN WAS ALWAYS GOING TO WIN.
AS I SAY, WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE A CHILD WON THE SPELLING BEE THIS
YEAR.
THOSE KIDS ARE ON A STREAK.
CHILD WAVE!
PENCIL, PENCIL (SPELLING).
YES, THAT'S THE WORD THAT KNOCKED ME OUT IN THIRD GRADE.
( LAUGHTER )
NOT-AT-ALL!