sometimes it's not the process we want
but it is the process that we need
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hammer names father Mike Schmitz and
this is essential presents one of the
things that happens a lot of times when
I'm talking with couples in marriage
preparation and then any couple anywhere
or even just human beings is I mean
imagine this scenario you probably lived
it before where say Jack says to Jill
what do you want to do for supper any
any decision right what do you wanna do
four separate and Jill says the jack it
could go either way you know Jill says I
don't care you choose now this could go
for eating this could go for what we do
next
this could go for a thousand different
things one person says the other person
I don't care you choose so what does
Jack - Jack says well I don't know what
do you think about Chipotle look I don't
want you pull a pic again okay what
about pizza I hate pizza right now
they say choose something else and at
this point person a in this case jack
could say ah you said you don't care it
seems like you really do actually care
an awful lot and just like no no no I
don't care you choose this makes me just
laugh um why because the couple can get
are the friends the whoever the
relationship people they can get so
frustrated with the other person
they like wait a second no no after a
while like after maybe six to twelve to
a couple more times of doing this you
realize okay this isn't what they're
asking for is not actually what they
want right that the person isn't just
saying okay you choose I'll do whatever
you want what they're saying is you
suggest to me a number of things we
could do or places we could eat and from
those things you suggest I'm going to
choose one of them but I want you to be
free to suggest whatever it is you want
as long as I'm free to shoot down some
of those options right so make sense and
we can get frustrated with that or we
could just realize oh this is the
process then that that's where I want to
talk about like this is the process no
yes
hey I think ultimately it'd be very
helpful to actually use the right words
rather than saying I don't care what I'm
trying to say is you tell me what you
want and give me the freedom to shoot
down everything I don't want that make
sense right but the frustration part is
what I thought this would
is you just said I could choose and I
could get what I chose or we would do
what I chose but what ultimately is is
this whole different process and I just
recognize yeah I don't know I think it's
worth noting that the process works I
might not like this process but the
process actually works the same thing is
true when it comes to so many elements
in our life same thing is true when it
comes to so many ways in which God tries
to have to get to our hearts like we
could say okay God just do the thing you
want to do God give me the answer that I
need to do with my life give me direct
me in that vocation God do the healing
thing can open my heart and like make it
like yours all these kinds of things I
had just do it and God doesn't just do
it right it isn't just tell us what he
wants he doesn't just heal us in the
moment he doesn't just kind of like open
the door there's a process and that
process often is painful it's like it
make you God you just tell me what you
got me to do and he says okay choose and
then it doesn't work out he's okay
shoots again no not that choose again
like no God you just tell me to do what
to do he's like no no this is part of
the process this is this is how I'm
bringing you into the very action of
your own life by not just telling you
what to do but by letting you choose
this again part of the process it same
kind of thing when it comes to like how
do you just you perform you purify my
heart you heal my heart and he's like
mmm okay um I'm gonna have to let you
experience a broken heart
why because having your heart broken and
then letting me heal it that's how I do
this you walking through the valley of
the shadow of death and then at the end
of that realizing wait God you were
there the entire time like that's how I
grow your trust that's part of the
process now we can really dislike that
because we just want to be done right we
don't want to go through the process we
just want to say hey you let me choose
what we're gonna eat tonight that's what
we're gonna eat and the other person
says mm-hmm it's gonna work a little
differently than that and Scott says the
same thing where you say God just do the
thing let me know the truth let me know
the direction do the healing and he's
like it's gonna work a little
differently than that now I can this
last thing I can kind of buck against
that right I can kick against the goat
as it were I can resist that or I can
just say okay god I get it
this is the process and I can engage
again I can resist and I don't want to
be this way or I can say okay this is
how it is and I can engage he's like it
or not I mean the reality is God is not
our ATM he's not our fortune teller he's
not crystal ball that's that that's not
this this gesture was he's our Father
and He loves us and in the process of
making us the kind of people who love
like him it will be a process in the
process of being people who have wisdom
to choose like him it will be a process
and he allows us to participate in that
process so if you find yourself right
now in the midst of that process don't
resist
but acknowledge okay god you're with me
I'm gonna engage the process for all of
us here to Center presents - about the
Micra mints god bless
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