You’re going about your day and feeling great.
Then, without thinking twice about it, you reach into your purse and grab your vibrating
cell phone.
Blindly pulling it from the chaos of your bag contents, you raise the screen to your
face and freeze..
Your ex has text you.
The feeling you get when you see a past lover’s name pop up on your phone can be as nausing
as a high speed boat race on a rough sea, or as exciting as Christmas morning.
Depending on your feelings towards your ex, as your hopes or intentions, how you respond
to your ex’s message will vary.
Feeling aside though, there are some rules to follow when it comes to texting him back.
Hey ladies, Amy North here, thanks for stopping by my channel.
Due to popular demand, in today’s video I’m going to share with you everything you
need to know when it comes to texting your ex.
From when to reply to his text and what to say, we will cover it all in this video.
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I tackle next week then take a moment now to vote.
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click the little bell below this video.
Now, moving on….
Before I get into the specifics about how you should be replying to your ex, let’s
first talk a bit about the possible reasons he is texting you.
The most common of those being he misses you.
Though he might not come right out and say so, if you haven’t been communicating with
your ex then there’s a good chance he’s missing you.
I mean, you were a part of his life at one point, so it makes sense why he may be feeling
a bit nostalgic towards you and the relationship.
Men start to miss what they had after they’ve had a taste of life without it.
And since meeting new women and making new connections can be tough for them, if this
is the case then there’s a good chance that he’s reaching out because he has been thinking
about you and is missing you.
If he’s already established that he misses you, then he may be trying to get you back,
which is the next reason why he may be texting you.
If enough time has passed since the breakup for him to reflect on your once relationship
then again, he may be realizing what he’s missing out on and want to win you back.
That said, the words he texts you may be written to pull at your heartstrings, but don’t
take these words to mean exactly what they say.
For instance, if he messages you straight up saying, “I want you back,” then there’s
a good chance that he’s feeling mixed emotions right now, and that this may not 100% be true.
However, since most guys fear rejection the likelihood of him texting you those exact
words are pretty low.
Instead he’ll probably send you a message to test the waters, then depending on how
you reply he’ll decide whether or not letting you know he wants you is a good idea or not.
The next reason your ex may be texting you is because he wants to be friends.
In this case his message will probably be pretty light hearted and friendly.
He may choose to share some interesting news with you, or ask how you’ve been or what
you’re up to.
This message is tricky because it could be a well disguised “I miss you” message,
but if he’s throwing out the friend vibe, then that’s likely the case.
You should be able to tell after a few more messages from him.
Next is he is messaging you because he wants to make you feel bad, or hurt you.
This is an awful reason to text someone, but if your ex is feeling miserable about the
breakup, or has any built up resentment towards you, then he may feel compelled to text you
his thoughts.
The important thing to remember here is that whatever nasty things he is sending you, he
is doing it out of hurt.
It’s important that you don’t take these messages to heart, or rebuttal with words
that are equally as cruel.
Instead know that he probably doesn’t mean what he’s saying, but for twisted reasons
making you feel bad makes him feel better… or at least getting these feelings off his
chest does.
If your ex is sorry about how the relationship ended, or something that happened while you
were together, then this may be another reason for reaching out to you through text.
These messages are pretty easy to spot, as he’ll likely just admit to his wrongdoings
and wish you well.
He could be doing this because he genuinely feels bad for hurting you, or he may be doing
it for his own closure reasons.
After apologizing to you there’s a good chance that you won’t hear from him again.
Don’t get angry if you reply to this message and hear nothing back.
If he’s said all he wants to say to you then leave him be.
And the last reason I want to talk about when it comes to your ex texting you is if he is
looking for a booty call.
This could be hard to spot at first because he may sugar coat his messages before implying
that he wants to hook up, but a big indicator as to if he is booty calling you is the time
of his message.
Meaning, if he texts you in the middle of the night, or after getting home from the
bar, then he could just be messaging you out of sexual desire.
Regardless of whether or not you want to rekindle your relationship with your ex, you don’t
want to go down this path.
If you do, you risk getting hurt, and even if you’re just looking for some no-strings-attached
fun, it’s still going to lead to an awkward situation.
Just don’t do it.
Okay, so now that we’ve talked about some of the major reasons behind why your ex would
be texting you, let’s now talk about what you should do on the receiving end of these
messages.
To keep this process as simple as possible let’s break this situation into three scenarios.
You want to get back together with your ex You’re uncertain about whether or not you
want to get back with your ex There’s no way in hell you would ever get
back with your ex
Keep your own personal situation in mind as we move forward with this video and your action
plan for texting him back.
So, first thing’s first.
Your ex has just messaged you.
How long should you wait before replying to his text.
Regardless of your feelings towards your ex, you should make a point in holding off before
texting him.
This is important for a couple of reasons.
First, it will give you some time to think about what you want to say.
If this guy has angered or upset you in the past, then your feelings may be running high
right now, especially if you didn’t expect to hear from him, or haven’t in sometime.
The last thing you want to do is blast off a text that is full of resentment or sadness.
Even if you have no intention of ever patching things up and getting back together with him,
take the high road and stay classy.
Since he knows that there’s a chance you could react this way, by not doing so you’ll
surprise him, and he may even realize what a good thing he has lost in you.
More on this soon though, but for now just remember that taking the time to think about
the message you’ll be sending your ex is extremely important.
The second thing that not responding right away does is that it shows him you’re not
sitting around, phone in hand, waiting to hear from him.
Even if that’s not the case when you do receive his message, or you just so happen
to be on your phone for other reasons, letting some time pass before responding to him will
send the message that you’re busy with other things, and will spike his curiosity, leaving
him to wonder what’s occupying your time.
I’d say that waiting anywhere from half hour to an hour is a good amount of time to
let pass before replying.
When you do reply to him, the message you send is important.
Since this isn’t a girlfriend or family member who you can casually just blast off
a text to, you’ll want to make sure that the message you send has the right tone.
Now you may be thinking, “Amy, it’s a text… how the heck am I supposed to make
it sound a certain way?”
Well, here’s the thing.
When it comes down to it, texts are just words on a screen, left to be interpreted by the
person on the receiving end.
That’s why it’s fair to say that texting is almost less about the words themselves,
and more about the feelings you get when reading them.
So, before replying to your ex’s text message, it’s important that you’re completely
certain of the type of message you’re looking to send.
Do you want him to know that you’re open to chatting with him, or would you rather
make it clear that the ship has sailed?
Are you hoping to reignite a spark between the two of you, or are you fighting the temptation
to tell him what a jerk he is?
Knowing your end-game and intentions will help when it comes to choosing your words
and communicating the right message.
Regardless of your intention though, keeping your texts short and sweet can help prevent
any sort of confusion in your message.
Why?
Because the less you write, the less chance there is that he will misinterpret what you
are saying.
For example, let’s say that your ex texts you a short, “Hey, how have you been?”
Instead of rambling about how you’ve been since the breakup, diving into all the emotions
you’ve felt and things you have done, keep your message simple.
A short, “I’m good, thanks.
How are you?” will do the trick if you’re cool with opening up communication lines between
the two of you again.
Or even, “I’m great!
I’m just in the middle of something right now and can’t really chat, but I hope you
are well.”
works well too.
In fact, this second example works wonders for getting him thinking about what it is
you’re “in the middle of” or even who you’re with.
Again, if you want to get back together with your ex, or aren’t completely against the
idea of perhaps rekindling your relationship or just being friends, this is a powerful
message to send.
For more texting examples pop on over to my site and watch the free video presentation.
The URL is www.coachnorth.com/texting, and I’ll post a link in the description below.
If you have absolutely no desire to talk to your ex when he messages you then you may
choose to ignore his text message.
As long as it doesn’t ask anything important, and it isn’t relaying valuable information,
you can easily let it slide.
If however your ex texts you asking something that is important, or passes along some useful
news, then do take the time to respond, either with the answer he needs, or a short “thanks
for letting me know.”
You don’t have to dive right back into communicating with him again, but do show some respect and
appreciation.
Also, always be sure to read your text message at least three times before hitting send,
and better yet, read it out loud.
Not only will it avoid making you look absent-minded or unintelligent, but it’ll also prevent
you from needing to follow up your text with a corrected version or explanation.
Sure, it’s not the end of the world to have to do so, but it does take away from the original
message.
Since this IS an ex you’re messaging, you want to make sure that you come across as
intelligent and well-spoken, regardless of whether or not you want to win him back.
Now that we’ve covered the basics when it comes to replying to his initial post-breakup
text message, let’s talk a little bit about what you should be texting your ex if you
do choose to keep the conversation going.
In this case it’s likely that you do want to get back together, because let’s face
it, you’re not going to waste your time messaging someone you have zero interest having
in your life.
And again, as tempted as you may be to keep a conversation of sarcasm or belittling one
another going, don’t waste your time or energy on such a thing.
It won’t do you any favours and in the end it’s only going to make you feel worse.
Be the bigger person.
If though, you absolutely feel the need to send him a message after he’s reached out
then you can choose to let him know that you wish him well but don’t see a reason to
keep in contact.
Simple as that.
Don’t feel obligated to keep answering his messages from here on out.
Now, for when you are wanting to get back together, or are at least open to the possibility,
there are certain things you’re going to want to keep in mind when replying to his
text messages.
As I briefly mentioned earlier in this video, you’re going to want to send him a positive
message.
Even if you’ve been devastated since the breakup and feel like life as you know it
has ended, you cannot convey that in your text message.
If you do, you’ll look desperate to get him back, and even a bit pathetic.
That is not the type of message that will make him want to be with you again… and
if he was thinking about to get back together with you a downer message may make him change
his mind.
What will make him want to be with you is a message expressing how cheerful you are,
and how busy you’ve been.
Sending the type of message that shows him that your life carried on after the relationship
ended and it will let him see that you are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t
need a man to complete her.
That is an extremely attractive trait.
Once the texting conversation begins to flow, you’ll still want to take things slow.
This will give you both the opportunity to do some thinking and decide if you want to
give your relationship another try, and it’s also good for reigniting the spark between
you.
When you message him, send the type of texts that you would in the early days of getting
to know someone.
Yes, you know this person and you’ve already shared a relationship, but if you go right
back to where you were in the past together then you risk the relationship falling apart
again – I mean, it didn’t work in the past so why go back there?
Instead consider sending him what I call Satellite Texts.
These messages don’t ask for a reply from him, though if he’s into getting back together,
he probably will respond.
What these messages do is pass along information that you know he will find fascinating, or
useful.
Or, they could ask a question that you know he’ll enjoy reading and answering.
For instance, you could message him,
“Hey, I just saw that Ditch Records is having a huge sale this weekend.
I know how much you love your vinyl so I thought I’d let you know.
I hope you’re having a great day!”
Or, “I’m really craving some sushi for lunch.
Seeing as you’re a restaurant expert, where should I go?”
The first message lets him know you saw something that made you think of him and were thoughtful
enough to pass along the news.
The second message gets his opinion on something that you know he’ll be happy to talk about.
Neither of these messages are overly romantic, but believe me, both of them are super powerful
for reeling him back in and making him want to commit to you again.
Just remember, men like to keep things simple, so if your texts demand a lot of attention
or are overbearing then he may choose to avoid them.
Also keep in mind that guys love their freedom, so if you make him feel smothered the second
he reaches out to you then he may feel that getting back together would be a mistake and
move on.
Be wise with your words and keep him looking forward to hearing from you.
Well, that’s just one example of the type of text you can send your ex to get him back.
If you’re interested in learning more, as well as other texting secrets to keep him
hooked, then visit my site and watch the free video presentation.
The URL is www.CoachNorth.com/texting, and I’ll be sure to post the link in the description
below.
Now that we’ve come to the end of this video, I’d like to thank you all for watching.
If you enjoyed what you learned here then please spread the word and share my channel
with your friends.
Also, if you haven’t already done so subscribe to my channel and check out my other dating
and relationships videos.
Lastly, if you have any questions for me, or would like to share your comments or questions,
feel free to post those in the description below and I’ll personally get back to you
as soon as I can!
Until next time ladies, take care and good luck!