>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
LAD'S SHALL-- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
MY FIRST GUEST IS A COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM HBO'S "CRASHING"
AND HIS PODCAST, "YOU MADE IT WEIRD."
HE NOW STARS IN THE NEW CBS SITCOM, "HOW WE ROLL."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," PETE HOLMES!
HI, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> HI STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ALWAYS FUN TO TALK TO.
>> YOU ARE ALWAYS A DELIGHT.
I LIKE YOUR HANDSHAKE T WAS FIRM, AUTHORITATIVE.
>> Stephen: BUT NOT AGGRESSIVE.
>> WELCOMING, NOT TOO DRY.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU SCHEDULED TO APPEAR A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I
WAS DISAPPOINTED AND THEN CONCERNED TO FIND OUT, MAYBE
CONCERNED FIRST, TO FIND OUT THAT YOU HAD COVID.
>> COVID-19.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THAT-- .
>> THE VERY POPULAR ONE, VERY POPULAR ONES, YOU HAVE HEARD OF
IT.
VERY CON TABLINGUS, I THINK I GOT IT FROM AN EMAIL.
>> YOU ARE A GOOD CROWD.
BUT DON'T WORRY, IT WAS VERY MILD.
MY COVID IF IT WAS A SALSA, PICO DEGALLO, TOO HEAVY TO PICK UP
WITH A CHIP BUT IT WASN'T TOO BAD.
BUT MY WHOLE FAMILY GOT IT WE JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING AS A
FAMILY.
>> Stephen: ONE CHIED.
>> ONE BABY, THREE AND A HALF, AND SHE WAS FINE, ABSOLUTELY
FINEMENT BUT PERSONALLY WITH COVID, I'M OVER T I REALLY
FOLLOWED COVID WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT.
ALL THE NEWS, ALL THE TWEETS, EVERYTHING.
BUT SOON AS IT STARTED BREAKING OFF INTO VARIANTS I AM LIKE I AM
OUT.
I WATCHED ALL OF BIG BANG THEORY, I'M NOT WATCHING YOUNG
SHELDON, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO REMIND YOU, WE'RE ON CBS.
>> WE'RE ON CBS.
>> Stephen: WE'RE ALL WATCHING YOUNG SHELDON, AREN'T WE REASONS
THAT'S RIGHT, I IN.
I WISH HI MY PHONE I WOULD START WATCHING YOUNG SHELDON RIGHT
NOW.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU FEELING OKAY.
>> I'M FEELING GREAT.
THE QUARANTINE WAS A LITTLE ROUGH, I GOT A LITTLE SHOFT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW, EATING THE FEELINGS.
>> Stephen: OKAY, WHAT IS THE MOST SOOTHING.
>> WHY IS IT SO QUIET, LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE.
OH, I'M SORPEE NO ONE WENT TO BEN & JERRY FOR THEIR COMFORT?
LIARS!
YOU KNOW ARE YOU IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU OPEN A PINT OF ICE CREAM AND
YOU THROW THE LID AWAY.
YOU WON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE.
WHERE WE'RE GOING, WE DON'T NEED LIDS.
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE TOGETHER WAS A LONG
TIME AGO, THREE YEARS OR SOMETHING, YOU ARE A BABY,
NOW-- .
>> SHED TO ELS.
>> Stephen: STILT A TODDLER.
>> SHE DID IS DOINGED TO ELLING.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU LIKE THE THREE AS AS OPPOSED TO
TWOOS, BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY TERRIBLE TWOS BUT THOSE ARE
PEOPLE WHO NEVER HAD A THREE YEAR OLD.
>> THEY SAY THREE-NAIJER YOU HAVE HEARD THAT.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NOT.
>> I SHE TORMENTS US BECAUSE I THINK SHE IS BOARD. SHE KNOWS
WE LOVE HER UNCONDITION ALLAHLY.
>> Stephen: LIKE THE DOG YOU WON'T WALK.
>> HE ALSO HAVE ONE OF THORKS AS SOON AS YOU HAVE A BABY THE DOG
IS LIKE WELL, I'M [BLEEP] COMPLETELY OUT.
THIS WAS UNSCRIPTED.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN GUFF HIM TO THE LID TO THE ICE CREAM AND
WILL FEEL BETTER.
>> LIKE A FRISBEE.
>> Stephen: THIS IS YOURS.
>> OR A UFO.
I WATCHED.
I WATCHED WITH THE FIRST COMEDY ACT, I WILL WATCH IT LATER.
>> Stephen: EXCELLENT.
THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE FIRST BUT IF YOU THINK THAT IS THE FIRST
COMEDY ACT, THAT'S FINE.
ONE OF THE THINGS WE SAID THREE AGO-- YEARS AGO WAS THAT HAVING
A CHILD WAS A GREAT WAY TO AVOID SOCIALIZING.
NOW THAT SHE IS BIGGER ARE YOU STILL-- IS IT STILL HELPFUL.
>> WELL, IT'S HARD GOING OUT BECAUSE WE WERE ALL INSIDE FOR
SO LONG AND I THINK WE ARE RELEARNING HOW TO BE IN PUBLIC.
I WAS NOTICING, I THINK ABOUT THIS, WE ALL HAVE GROUP MODE
LIKE RIGHT NOW YOU AND I ARE IN GROUP MODE BECAUSE WE ARE
TOGETHER AND THERE SAY GROUP.
BUT YOU ALSO HAVE SOLO MODE.
AS SOON AS I WALK BACK TO MY HOTEL, EAR BUDS IN, HOODIE UP,
LIKE IN MANHATTAN YOU MOVE LIKE A PIECE OF DATA.
>> Stephen: LIKE YOU ARE AN ASSASSIN.
>> EXACTLY, THANK YOU.
WHAT I NOTICE IS WE HAVE GROUP MODE SOLO MODE AND WHAT HAPPENED
WAS I GOT TO WATCH SOMEONE GO FROM GROUP IMMEDIATE TO SOLO
MODE IN REALTIME.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU SEE SOMEONE GO TO SOLO MODE IF YOU
ARE THERE.
>> I'M TELLING YOU.
YOU KNOW, DON'T BLOW HOLES IN MY PREMISE AS I'M GOING INTO IT.
YOU'RE A TRAINED COMEDIAN.
I'M YOUR GUEST.
HELP ME SHINE!
(LAUGHTER) >> LIKE JON, THAT'S SHOW
BUSINESS, SUPPORT, GLITTER, SPARKLE.
>> Stephen: GO ON.
>> THANK YOU, I WILL.
I SAW SOMEONE GO INTO MOSTLY SOLO MODE IN REALTIME.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I WAS ON AN ELEVATOR.
I WAS ON AN ELEVATOR AND I WAS ALONE SO YOU GO IN THE CORNER, I
HAD MY EAR BUDS IN, I PUSH THE BUTTON, I'M GOING UP, AND THEN
FOUR LOUD GUYS GO ON, IN REIN GROUP MODE BEING REALLY LOUD AND
PUSHING THIS ONE GUY, I THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT CHIPOTLE
BECAUSE THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT DOUBLE BEANS THEY SAID THIS GUY
GETS DOUBLE BEANS, IS HE IS LIKE WHAT CAN I SAY, I LIKE A WILL
GUAM AND THEY ARE BEING REALLY LOUD, I AM IN SOLO MOD AND THEY
ARE IN GROUP MODE, BUT THEN THEY GET TO A CERTAIN FLOOR, THREE OF
THE GUYS GET OFF, DOUBLE BEAN STAYS BACK.
IT WAS ONE THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN THE WILD.
THE HE WAS STILL IN GROUP MODE, THE DOORS ARE CLOSING ALL RIGHT
GUY, CHIPOTLE TOMORROW, CHIPS ON ME.
AND THE THEN THE DOORS CLOSE AND HE'S LIKE--
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
THEN HIS FLOOR CAME HE WAS LIKE HAVE A PLEASANT DAY, I'M LIKE
YOU DON'T FOOL ME, YOU'RE DOUBLE BEAN, FROM EARLIER.
>> Stephen: I WAS REALLY MOVED BY THAT PERFORMANCE JUST NOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS REALLY WELL DONE.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT?
SOMEONE'S GOING TO MAKE IT A MEME.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK BUT WHEN WE COME
BACK I WILL ASK PETE HOLMES WHERE HE SEES A CROSSOVER
BETWEEN HIS SPIRITUALITY AND HIS COMEDY.
I BET HE'S GOT A GOOD ANSWER.