- Hey, what's up, everyone?
My name is Motoki.
How you guys doing today?
I'm great, thanks for not asking.
I just want to take a second and apologize,
because I think I have a cold, and my voice sounds
so weird right now, I don't even know, sorry.
If you saw my last video or some of my other videos,
you know that I'm single.
Like, very single.
But it's cool, I'm fine with it, no biggie.
You know, I cry myself to sleep sometimes, but whatever.
Having been single for a long time, I've been around
a lot of couples, and you know, done some observing.
Some stalking, same thing.
In watching these relationships, I've seen so much
stupid stuff that makes me not want a relationship.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are obviously
great things about relationships, but there are so many
things that ruin it for me.
For example, public displays of affection,
a.k.a. PDA.
♫ AKA PDA AKA PDA AKA... ♫
Okay, chill, chill, chill.
I'll be walking down the hallways at school, and oh look,
couples grinding up on each other against lockers.
Awesome.
That also goes out to the lovey dovey flirts
on Twitter and Instagram.
(clears throat) By the way, don't forget to follow me,
user name: @motokimaxted.
(clears throat) What?
I don't want to see you couples seducing each other, okay?
You can do it privately.
Suppress your hormones.
And they always say the same lame stuff
in every single conversation.
"Oh my god, I love you."
"No bae, I love you so much more."
"Oh, I want you inside me."
"Uh, what?"
Stop.
Stop that (bleep)!
I just...(sighs)
Ugh, you know?
It's funny, though, when couples think they're madly in love
when they've literally been dating for like a week.
Oh yeah, that's love all right.
Like, am I getting invited to the wedding or what?
Which reminds me, I hate it when couples get so
wrapped up in each other, that they stop hanging out
with the friends that they've had for years.
If you stop talking to your friends, then who are you
going to turn to if the relationship ends?
But that's none of my business.
And that brings me on to my next point.
Relationships cause so much, so so much
unneeded drama, uh, no thank you.
Another reason why relationships suck
is because they're expensive, especially for guys.
Why is it that guys have to pay for everything?
Come on, society, this is 2014.
Where's the equality?
Hitler's dead.
I've seen guys drop so much money on gifts and dates,
and they're like, "Where'd all my money go?"
While single me is sitting at home like...
(hip hop music)
Something that really annoys me is seeing people
in relationships that are constantly unhappy
because of their significant other.
That's stupid.
Obviously, couples fight, but I'm talking people
who are always upset with each other.
Why do you do that?
You could be spending time doing stuff that
you actually enjoy instead.
Oh right, my bad.
That makes too much sense.
You know, I've never understood how younger teens date.
I think that at least one person in the relationship
needs to be able to drive.
I mean, how else are you supposed to go on dates?
Isn't that the whole point of dating?
You know, going on dates, right?
Like are these freshman guys going to go up to
their girlfriend's house, and be like,
"Ay, come jump on my bicycle!
"Let's go get some candy!" (laughs)
Y'all are wack.
I think that sometimes people feel pressured to be
in relationships because other people are doing it,
so they do it too to try to be cool.
Like guys at my school who find out I don't have
a girlfriend will try to convince me to get one.
"Come on, dude, get that ass!
"Get that pussy!" (laughs)
Like no, I'm good.
Thanks, though.
Girls, stay away from those guys.
There are so many that just want to get in your pants.
It's ridiculous, don't get pregnant.
Okay, since we're on the topic,
and I get this question a lot.
I don't even know why.
But anyone who's wondering, I'm a virgin.
"Wow, dude, you're such a loser."
Yeah, I don't really care.
I'm sorry, I don't think about sex 24/7.
It's more like 23 hours a day. (laughs)
Look, I'm obviously curious what it's like,
but that's not my first priority in life.
Same thing goes for relationships.
I just want to have fun in high school.
I don't want to have to worry about another person,
because I can barely handle myself.
I honestly think people spend way too much time
worrying about relationships while they're in school
when instead, they could, oh I don't know,
pay attention in class, yeah!
(bleep) me, right?
All right, that's just some of the reasons
why I think relationships suck.
Listen, I'm not trying to hate on anyone
who's in relationships.
Obviously, I've seen teen couples have
great times with each other.
It just depends on who's involved and how mature they are.
Plus, it's way more fun to rant about
how dumb relationships are.
It's kind of weird, because I feel like I'm missing out
on a lot of things being single,
but then I order some pizza, and we're all good.
But who knows, maybe I'll have a girlfriend next month.
Probably not, because I have zero game.
But you know, there's always a chance.
But that's all that I have for you guys today.
My voice is gone.
I can't even, ah, blah, blah, blah.
By the way, for like the three of you who are wondering,
this is a mole.
Yep, I'm human, I have those.
None of you probably care, but I'm extremely
self-conscious, and I just wanted to get that off my chest.
But I can't, because it's like literally on my chest.
Ha ha, I'm so funny, I should make YouTube videos.
If you enjoyed the video, please give me a thumbs up,
comment, subscribe.
You know what to do.
I appreciate it, thank you guys.
Also, don't forget to add me on your favorite social media.
I post daily Snapchats, if you're into that.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
I'll see you guys soon.
("New York" by Ngan)
♫ I am just a schemer
♫ Trying to turn you non-believers into dreamers ♫
♫ Ay PDA getaway
♫ You know me to say
♫ Okay okay ain't nobody...♫
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