- How do you describe our relationship to others?
- That like if you have like a black and white painting,
like I'm like the dark and you're like the light.
Or vice versa, 'cause we switch it up.
(laughing)
And yeah, like together it's like this one cohesive thing
that you can kinda like look at and it makes sense.
Yeah.
- I think that I've been describing it
as something that's like tying a string
around your finger, almost.
You know, it's like deeply wound.
That's how I describe it to people.
And like it doesn't always make sense,
and it is very like complex and there's a lot of chapters
and all of these different things.
But it's just like different than any other
relationship that I have.
- Do you feel that like...
Is it that we're like closer or that you...
Do you feel comfortable like with the,
my understanding you and you understanding me,
like is that something that
you feel you have in other relationships?
Like I'm saying like is that something
that's common with you?
- Not really.
(laughing)
Not really.
It's just...
I don't know, it's hard to explain.
- Is it my turn?
- I think so.
- What are you hesitant to tell me?
- Oh boy.
What am I hesitant to tell you?
I guess,
that, I dunno, I have to think about this.
But if you wanna answer first.
- Oh god.
- That'd be great.
(laughing)
- What am I hesitant to tell you?
How did you flip this on me?
(laughing)
That like, I love you.
And like you can trust me,
like I'm always gonna be here for you.
There's like an unconditional love
that I've liked developed for you.
And I think that's what...
I actually think that's what connects me most to you.
And I want you to know that you are loved
and that you are safe, and that you're like...
You will be cared for and like supported
in whatever way you need.
And, yeah.
I feel like whenever I tell you that
you don't like understand it.
You kinda like take it with a grain of salt,
but it's true.
- I guess that's what I'm hesitant to tell you,
that like, I don't know.
I guess I just want you to want to be around me
as much as I wanna be around you.
Ugh.
- Ugh, feelings.
(laughing)
- What's the biggest challenge in our relationship
and why do you think that is?
- Communication.
I want you to tell me when you're upset,
even if you think it's like stupid.
Like any kind of little thing, like oh,
you just said something to me and it pissed me off.
Tell me, we can talk about it,
and then we can, you know, keep going.
You don't have to bottle everything up
until it just comes out like over something tiny.
You know?
- Mm.
That's valid.
I think for me the biggest challenge is like,
not something that is a challenge between you and I
but more for myself.
And that's like feeling like I can reach you.
You know what I mean?
Like you could be standing in front of me
but I feel like I can't reach you.
- Do you feel like that right now?
- Well I mean.
(laughing)
No, not right now.
But a lot of times I do.
Like you're just like smoke,
like I can see you and you're there
but I can't grab you and like feel you in my hands,
you know?
I don't know, sometimes it's just hard for me
to admit things to myself, you know?
And so I couldn't possibly explain to you
what I don't even know myself, you know?
- I don't know.
It's whatever you're comfortable with, again.
- Have you ever been afraid of like bringing something up
because you feel like it would just
make everything collapse under your feet?
- Yes.
- Yeah, that's like kinda what I've been
struggling with lately.
- Mm.
Well whatever it is you don't have to deal with it alone.
And like, whatever your mess is, I'll make it my mess.
We can clean it up together.
- Okay.
(laughing)
I dunno.
I feel like we have the capability to
keep each other grounded but we just don't
always exercise it, I guess.
I dunno, 'cause, I dunno, maybe you're as scared about
getting really close to me as I am with you.
But I know that I am with you.
- Yeah I am too.
- Okay.
- What do you think is the next step in our relationship?
- That's a tough question.
- Yeah we're always like zig-zagging.
- Yeah.
You know, moving in together.
Starting life together, and like I dunno,
essentially being like life partners, you know?
- Yeah I see that.
And it's not something that like...
I dunno, I'm very confident that we're gonna be
in each other's lives for a really long time.
Like you're special and I wanna let people
know that you are, like, yeah.
- Okay.
I don't know how to form a sentence, like a question.
I guess like in a perfect world,
how would you...
What would your life look like,
and your life with me, like in a perfect world?
- I dunno.
I don't think that like anything was ever
meant to be like perfect.
And so whatever it is now, like that's what it is.
I don't know if that answers your question.
- It does.
It's your answer to my question.
- Yeah that question was very vague, so,
I don't know like what you meant by that.
- Okay.
- We can talk about it later.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
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