(coughing)
- You all right?
- Yeah, I think I have something in my throat.
(clears throat)
(funky music)
Can I take a Halls if i already took an ibuprofen?
Is that dangerous?
(funky music)
(gargling)
- My sister, she had a friend back in college
who had a sore throat for like a week
and now she talks with one of those talk-box thingies.
- Why are you telling me this?
Mom, what's our family throat history?
It is so what this is, I did my research.
- Yahoo Answers isn't research.
- Are you gonna stay with me when I'm diagnosed?
Like, are you gonna shave your head in solidarity?
- You don't have cancer.
- Well, I'm looking on here, and this woman
thought she just had her period, but it's cancer.
So, I'm gonna give you my passwords for everything.
When I'm gone, I want you to be with Alison.
She could take care of you.
- Okay.
- You're not even going to put up a fight about it?
Oh my gosh, this is karma.
Remember sophomore year i got that girl Carol expelled
because I said she was taking pills?
Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
- Okay, strep test came back negative.
- How long do I have?
- Uh, what?
- He didn't even write me a prescription,
just told me to gargle with salt water.
- [Boyfriend] It's your bill.
- Thanks babe.
(dramatic music)
(gasps)
But I'm not even sick!