Welcome back to Things Mr. Welch is not allowed to do in a rpg numbers 101 to 200
101.
I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING. 102.
I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer's dime.
103.
There is no such thing as a Club 3 of Cup Checks
104.
Nor is there a 1 Longsword, 5 against party members.
105.
I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
106.
I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.
107.
There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet. 108.
No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer.
109.
Not allowed to kill a vampire with any part from a DC-10 larger than my car.
110.
Not allowed to serenade the party even if my character has an internal tape deck.
111.
I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother.
112.
If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.
113.
My Droid is not allowed to paraphrase any Jack Nicholson soliloquy.
114.
The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once.
115.
My musical instrument does not double as a personal flotation device.
116.
Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.
117.
I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day.
118.
I will pick a more traditional paladin weapon instead of a sledgehammer.
119.
My character's names cannot be anagrams of playboy playmates.
120.
Not allowed to kill another party member with a boomerang again.
121.
I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc.
122.
The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal. 123.
Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.
124.
I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.
125.
Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.
126.
Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.
127.
Not allowed to download AOL 6.0 on the Arasaka mainframe.
128.
Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind.
129.
Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism. 130.
I am not authorized to form the head.
131.
Not allowed to bet how many times the lich bounces.
132.
There is no such feat called "Death Blossom" 133.
My acrobat cannot balance on the warlord's head for more than one round.
134.
The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"
135.
I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.
136.
I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills.
137.
I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy. 138.
If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.
139.
My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just play by ear'
140.
The Dutch language does not exist in the Forgotten Realms.
141.
My maid does not know kung fu. 142.
Not allowed to give a 4 year old a sugar rush just to jack up the CR later.
143.
Not allowed to by a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.
144.
There is no such thing as pleather armor.
145.
I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody
now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents.
146.
Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.
147.
Hobbits are not allowed to have Norse ancestry. 148.
There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
149.
Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.
150.
Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format.
151.
Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.
152.
When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.
153.
I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.
154.
I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.
155.
I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason.
156.
When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option.
157.
Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.
158.
I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells.
159.
Airlocks do not double as trash disposals. 160.
I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.
161.
I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by
that creepy guy.
162.
What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.
163.
Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.
164.
I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.
165.
I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.
166.
Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elvis LP collection.
167.
I was not recruited by Star League for any reason.
168.
I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.
169.
I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility.
170.
I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.
171.
My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
172.
At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.
173.
I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.
174.
There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.
175.
I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the News.
176.
I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans.
177.
Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.
178.
There are no profanities in Celestial. 179.
Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty.
180.
I have neither the touch nor the power.
181.
I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos. 182.
No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
183.
There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement.
184.
A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope.
185.
My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl.
186.
No cutting line to be a god.
187.
I cannot gain more than three drama die per session for making the GM pee.
188.
I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf.
189.
Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.
190.
Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.
191.
My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett.
This goes double for Star Wars characters.
192.
If the gun is best fired using the artillery skill, my character is not allowed to have
it.
193.
Not allowed to kill vampires with seismic charges.
194.
When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.
195.
I cannot use a silent feat enabled power word stun and blame it on the dog.
196.
I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another country.
197.
My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his country just to
stay sharp.
198.
Not allowed to steal my own soul.
199.
My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'
200.
I cannot name my character cliche canon characters from other systems.