(spooky upbeat music plays)
(loud growl)
(loud growling continues)
(laughter)
- Seventeen bottles of pop on the wall,
seventeen bottles of pop. Take one down, pass it around.
Uh, Oh no! I just lost count! Where was I?
- I don't know dude. I've been trying to
zone you out for twenty minutes.
- Oh well. I'll just start over
999 bottles of pop on the wall.
999 bottles of eh...
- Ahh! Seriously where are our friends?
They've been gone way too long.
- Maybe it's a normal length of time
and it just seems long as someone your size.
(laughs)
- Argghh! Hey, creepy pasta!
(loud swoosh coming from fire)
- You rang? Ha ha ha
- Ever since you started telling us stories
around the campfire, our friends have been disappearing.
What's going on?
- Yeah, where's grapefruit? Where's my sister?
Where's my best friend?
- I'm not your best friend.
- See Pear's talking from inside a fire
or something. That's not normal! And we want answers now!
- All right. All right. You caught me.
my newest creepy pasta will explain everything.
- What?! Just tell us
- It's entitled, Ronald McDonald face.
- Ooooohh! Lets hear him out Little Apple,
This one sounds really good. And I'm not clowning around.
(laughs excitedly)
- Oh, it's good all right.
I believe the two of you will love it to death.
(maniacal laugh)
- uuumm
- Now then. Once upon a time, there were two friends.
A young orange and a young outrageously tiny apple.
- Not necessary dude.
- One day the two friends learned that McDonald's
was planning to offer some healthier options on its menu.
Orange juice with its breakfast
and apple slices with its happy meals.
This of course worried them slightly,
as they were both now on the menu so to speak.
but they decided to have fun with it.
The two friends started pranking each other
by placing pictures of Ronald McDonald's face,
in surprising locations for the other divine.
inside the refrigerator, under the toilet lid,
on the ceiling above the others bed.
the prank which they called Ronald McDonald face
was all in good fun
at first.
because after the dominion apple,
got Ronald McDonald faced by a picture taped
to the bottom of a table.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I think you mean top of the table.
- No, I mean, bottom.
I'm telling you, this apple was very short.
- Hee hee hee haa haa ha ha
- Arrgghhh!
- Offended that the table prank
had cashed in on his shortness,
the apple decided to escalate the prank war.
Soon, the friends were hiding wall sized pictures
of Ronald McDonald's face. Any window they opened,
any closet door, any light switch they flipped
was liable to terrify the living heck
out of them. The two friends began to live in fear,
terrified that the next Ronald McDonald face might be just
around any corner, behind any door.
They even began to dream about Ronald McDonald face.
After weeks of sleepless nights they called a truce,
but that didn't stop the Ronald McDonald faces.
Still they appeared. At home.
At work.
At school.
In the bathroom.
In the night. The Ronald McDonald faces were bigger
and scarier and more surprising than ever before!
And what's more. Ronald McDonald's expression
was growing more sinister with each and every appearance.
his eyes began glowing red and he began to wheel knives
with astonishing frequency. The orange
and the apple both swore they were honoring the truce,
which could only mean one thing.
The newer scarier Ronald McDonald faces were appearing all
by themselves.
just as they came
to the horrifying realization,
a gigantic Ronald McDonald face
burst through the wall
and swung a knife down upon them!
Instantly the two friends awoke in their beds.
Having just had the exact same nightmare.
They were relieved to find no knife marks on their bodies.
It seemed they were safe from Ronald McDonald face.
At least for now,
that is until one day McDonald's announced
a new menu item.
This was a hamburger, but it was no ordinary burger.
You see this burger had some very
curious ingredients included in it.
Ingredients you'd never think belonged in a burger.
That's right. On top of the patty
and lettuce and special sauce.
This burger contained...
- Pasta!
- What? No. the ingredients were...
- Pasta!
- What are you talking about?
Who would ever put pasta on a burger?
- I don't know. You said the secret ingredient was weird
and what's weirder than pasta on a burger?
- Uh, I suppose that's true but
- So pasta was on the burger! and then Ronald McDonald face
burst in and ate the burger!
(Ronald McDonald face screams)
The end! (laughs)
- Whoa, hey friends. Where have you been?
- You wouldn't believe us if we told you,
but it was Chattanooga Tennessee.
- Where's creepy pasta? I'd like to have a few words
with that guy.
- Don't worry. I'm with you always.
(maniacal laughter)
(water splashes on fire)
(coughs)
- Okay. So that might've been a mistake.
Not only because it's too dark, but also
because orange is inevitably going to say the line
- Hey! Who turned out the lights! (laughs)
(all groan in unison)
- Okay! Found my flashlight. Its all gonna be okay.
Just got to switch it on and...
(flashlight clicks)
(Ronald McDonald face growls)
(everyone screams)
(upbeat music plays)