>>> WELL, LUCIAN, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
I KNOW THIS IS A HARD DECISION BUT I THINK YOUR LIFE WILL BE
MUCH BETTER ONCE WE REMOVE YOUR HORN IMPLANTS.
>> IT WILL JUST BE NICE TO HAVE A FLAT FOREHEAD AGAIN.
BEEN SO LONG SINCE I SLEPT ON MY FACE.
>> AS SOON AS YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WE CAN SCHEDULE THE SURGE.
>> I'M SORRY, I HAVEN'T TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND YET.
CAN SHE COME HERE EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN'T HAVE INSURANCE?
>> OF COURSE. >> SWEET.
TRINA! >> HEY.
WHY ARE WE IN A DOCTOR OFFICE, LUCIAN?
AM I PREGNANT? >> NO BABE, YOU CAN'T GET
PREGNANT FROM THE SEX WE HAVE. SIT DOWN.
>> THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, THEN I WAS LIKE, MAYBE?
I DON'T KNOW. >> TRINA, THE REASON THAT YOU'RE
HERE IS BECAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING RID OF MY HORNS,
HAVING THEM REMOVED. >> WHAT?
DID YOU JUST SAY YOU'RE GETTING YOUR HORNS REMOVED?
>> YES. >> WHY?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW HOW I CAN'T GET ANY JOB ANYWHERE?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH?
>> I THINK THAT THE HORNS ARE WHY.
>> YOU DO? >> I'D HAVE TO AGREE.
THEY'RE TERRIBLE. I THINK IF LUCIAN WANTS TO GO
REMOVE HIS HORNS, WE SHOULD SUPPORT HIM.
>> ARE THE HORNS HURTING HIM MEDICALLY?
>> THEY'RE NOT HURTING HIM, THEY'RE MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE HE
HAS A BAD PAST. >> I WANT TO GET RID OF THEM,
TRINA, OKAY? YOU KNOW HOW YOUR DAD AND
BROTHER WON'T SPEAK TO ME? >> YEAH?
>> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I'M A HUMAN MAN WITH HORNS.
>> YOU DO? >> I DO.
I DON'T THINK THEY LIKE IT. >> MOST PEOPLE MISTRUST MEN WITH
HORNS. >> YEAH, I'M SORRY, WHERE DID
YOU GET YOUR DOCTOR DEGREE? >> I ATTENDED HARVARD MEDICAL.
>> IS THAT GOOD? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW, IT SOUNDS SKETCH TO ME.
OKAY, SO WAIT. IF YOU GET YOUR HORNS REMOVED,
THEN WHAT ELSE ARE YOU CHANGING? >> NOTHING.
I'M KEEPING MY GAUGES, MY EYEBROWS ARE STAYING GONE.
THE 9-VOLT BATTERY INSIDE MY NOSE WHERE THE CARTILAGE USED TO
BE STAYING. >> OH, GOD.
>> SO, I MEAN, WHAT, ARE YOU JUST GOING TO HAVE YOUR CAREFUL
HOLES SEWN UP TOO? >> I'M KEEPING MY CALFHOLES
OPEN. YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO SEE
BONE. >> WHAT ABOUT TISSUE?
>> YEAH, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE ALL THE MEAT INSIDE MY LEGS.
>> MAY WE PAUSE FOR A SECOND? YOUR CALVES ARE JUST AN OPEN
WOUND? >> WHAT, IT'S JUST GOING TO BE
SO WEIRD WITH YOU NOT HAVING HORNS.
>> I'M SORRY, YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ME.
YOUR BONES AND MUSCLES ARE VISIBLE VIA CALF HOLES?
>> THE HORNS ARE JUST A LOT, TRINA.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOAT AT THE PETTING ZOO KEPT TRYING TO
CHALLENGE ME? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH? >> I THINK HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS
A RIVAL GOAT BECAUSE I HAVE HORNS TOO.
>> YOU DO? I DON'T KNOW, I'M TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND. >> ARE YOU TRYING TO STAND,
TRINA? BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD WHEN YOU
GOT YOUR BUTT CHEEKS REMOVED AS A JOKE.
>> EXCUSE ME? I DID THAT AS A PRANK.
OKAY? IF I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALONE IT
WOULD HAVE BEEN A JOKE. I HAD MY MOM WATCH SO IT WAS A
PRANK, THANK YOU. >> OKAY, I'VE GOT TO CUT IN
AGAIN. YOU REMOVED YOUR BUT CHEEKS AS
A JOKE? >> AS A PRANK.
I'M SORRY, WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
>> HARVARD, I TOLD YOU THIS. >> SORRY, I RGOT.
MY WHOLE LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.
DO YOU MIND IF I DO A BAG? >> I'D ASK THAT YOU NOT HUFF
PAINT IN MY OFFICE. IT'S NOT ME, IT'S THE BUILDING.
[ LAUGHTER ] LOOK, 75% OF PEOPLE WHO GET FAKE
HORNS END UP HAVING THEM REMOVED WITHIN SIX MONTHS.
>> THEN THAT MEANS THE OTHER 25% GET MORE HORNS PUT IN?
>> NO, THAT'S NOT AT ALL WHAT I'M SAYING.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S VERY STUPID THAT YOU WOULD
THINK THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S JUST IMAGINING YOU AND NO HORNS IS PISSING ME OFF.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK LIKE A BANKER.
>> NO, HE'S NOT. EVEN WITHOUT THE HORNS HE'LL
STILL BE A WALKING DISASTER. HE'S WHAT WE IN PLASTIC SURGERY
CALL COMPLETELY RUINED. >> SEE?
>> ALL RIGHT, FINE. BUT YOU'LL KEEP EVERYTHING ELSE?
>> I'M KEEPING EVERYTHING ELSE. >> ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP THAT
BUTTCRACK A ZIPPER? [ LAUGHTER ]
ARE YOU? >> HEY.
YOU HAVE MY WORD. >> MAY I SEE YOUR CALF HOLES?