how do i handle stress as an enneagram type 9 when our ac unit blows up and our house is kind of torn
apart well stay tuned and find out let me explain our ac unit blew up a few days ago and when i say
blue up we have two ac units you know we live in arizona and i think the high today is 113 degrees
it's really muggy it's really humid um it's our monsoon season so it's definitely the worst timing
of the year for your ac unit to break our ac unit literally blew up friday we noticed friday morning
that our downstairs unit was not working anymore and we called somebody in and they literally fixed
it four hundred dollars later and while they were filling out the paperwork our other ac because
we have two of them because we have a two story blew up i'm not even kidding you guys freon was
going up in the air i guess the motor burnt out or something i'm not really for sure and so that was
a few days ago and we had the air conditioning guys come today and they replaced both units
and let me tell you it's still really hot in our house it's it's like 83 degrees in here right now
and if you notice some sweat on my face that's why when this happened on friday and we knew
well we're gonna have to stay downstairs because our downstairs unit is the only one working right
now so we only have cooler air downstairs my husband was like we can bring in some air
mattresses and we'll be fine and i was like um i don't think so we are moving our king mattress
downstairs literally i need some kind of comfort right now this is this is like freaking me out
and so i'm an enneagram nine and i'm actually an so slash sp what that means is i'm a social and
self-preservation that self-preservation was going crazy that instinct in me was like no no i need my
comforts i need my bed downstairs and so we moved my bed downstairs we moved my kids beds downstairs
we moved their computers downstairs because our upstairs literally got up to 100 degrees
it was crazy you can't live up there so today's video is what happens when an enneagram nine moves
way towards their stress point like when i say moves i mean like dive's deep right i'm like
enneagram nine and i'm like running towards the average unhealthy side of the six because guys
it's been such a ride it's been so many ups and downs these last couple of days but the real thing
is is i wanted to be real i want to let you guys end my journey i wanted to give you a real example
of what happens when an enneagram 9 has something that stresses them out and i know a broken ac
maybe that doesn't seem like such a big deal but it is to me and the reason why is you know like
i said you know you live in arizona it's so hot here and i've kind of had this fear we've lived
in this house for four years and it's always been they've always told us like your ac units are over
20 years old you might have to replace them and i just knew i'm like that's such a big expense and
so the purpose of this video let's take a look at the stress point what have i been doing what does
it look like in real life what does an enneagram 9 really do in a real moment when life is chaotic
and it's not there's no peace surrounding them and they're stressed out let's take a look at that
and then the last piece i want to cover is how did i overcome it right i did i did overcome it guys
and i want to give you a few actionable steps that i was able to take in order to overcome it
before the ac even was fixed and for those that don't know where the enneagram 9 goes in
their stress their stress arrow their stress point their chest lane whatever you want to call it it's
called so many different things um it goes towards the six the average to unhealthy side of the six
and guys that is exactly where i went these last few days what does that look like
stressed out worried worst case scenario thinking oh my goodness i lived there those are some of the
behaviors that the type 9 will exhibit when they are under stress and they are moving towards the
average unhealthy side of the six that's what was happening with me this was a nightmare for
me one of our friends just had their ac go out a couple weeks ago and i remember thinking like oh
i feel so bad for them and i just so thankful that that hadn't happened to me and like i said we live
in arizona no ac in the summer that's a terrible problem to have it's so hot and then also some
of the things that were going through my head was do we have budget for it this is a really big hit
on our budget how much is it going to be for two new air conditioners right and also do they have
our air conditioners in stock because our friend who had the same problem they didn't have hers
in stock hers was a a bit different than our situation but still i'm thinking all these
worst case scenarios is going through my head is keeping me up at night my mind is racing i have
no inner peace and the thing is my word for the year's breakthrough and i've just really known
and felt we're gonna have a breakthrough in a lot of different areas and one of the areas was paying
off our debt and so what this does not help with that right this is like adding on to our debt and
so that was another reason why i was like oh this is just terrible and i'm worried and what do we do
and the thing is an enneagram 9 normally doesn't live here and enneagram 9 usually is at peaceful
calm go with the flow easy going it's all good and that's where i live 90 of the time but when
something like this happens i get so stressed out and that's what i was doing and i want to let you
guys get on a little bit of a secret you know what i did all weekend so this happened on a friday
i laid here in my bed and i binged watched tv shows i just couldn't do it i literally withdrew
it was very overwhelming i were true i pretended like nothing was happening i binge watched
two seasons of a show and i just laid here in my king-sized bed pretending like everything was okay
if you're an enneagram nine can you relate to that and because why this is one of my coping
mechanisms numbing out it's an it's a typical enneagram nine coping mechanism and i'm married
to a type eight and he went into go mode he went into do mode he was like okay what do we gotta do
and even though like he was so willing to be like okay we're gonna figure this out i'm still a type
nine i might have an eight wing but i'm still at the core type nine and i still want to retreat
and withdraw and just go i don't know what to do i don't know what the answer is i felt frozen
um what's the right answer who do we hire what if they're the wrong company it's just all these
worst case scenario scenarios happening and that's what was going on and so that's what my stress
point looks like that's what happened that that you know is a very real life scenario that i've
just walked through the great thing is because of the enneagram and all the work that i've done
um inwardly i recognized the patterns right away i recognized these stress patterns and was like
wait it's a rumple strip right when you're going towards that stress point it's a rumble strip and
it was waking me up it woke me up and i was able to see like oh those are my coping mechanisms
those are that's my stress pattern that's what i always do and yes i did cope for a couple days
i don't think that's wrong toping is okay but you can't live there you can only camp there you can't
set up a house there you only camp there and to be honest some of this wasn't even me going towards
the average unhealthy side of the sixth i think it also had to do with the levels of health and
if you've researched the enneagram i haven't done a video on this yet it is coming so subscribe if
you want to learn more about the levels of health of each type but there's a healthy level there's
an unhealthy level there's an average level and within those three there's three levels in each
and so there's nine levels of health if that makes sense i actually think i was diving down my levels
of health and that's where the numbing out came that's where i just don't i just need to pretend
everything's okay that's what you were seeing with the enneagram type nine the anxious and
worriedness was more of the type six and because of all this knowledge and self-awareness that
i've gained i recognized it so much faster than i used to and what did i do i stopped i processed
and i pivoted those are three important things when you're heading towards your stress point
stop process and pivot first thing i stopped numbing out right i had to get up out of this
comfy bed which i love this bed i could live here all day but it's not healthy right but i stopped
i was like okay i've gotta get out of my bed i've gotta stop doing what i'm doing i've got to stop
pretending that everything is okay when it's not the next thing is i processed it and i know okay
these are my copied mechanisms they do not sustain me long term it's a very short-term fix and so i
was able to recognize and process what was going on because of the red flags because of the stress
point and go okay i recognize that i'm coping right now that's not healthy long term i need to
pivot what does pivoting look like for a type nine the first step is recognize the patterns
what are your patterns of coping and i would say any all types right now these will work with all
types when you're moving towards that stress point so recognize your patterns what are your
patterns of um coping and do they work do they work long term we need to ask ourselves what do
we need to change in order to pivot the second pivot was realizing i don't have to stay down
this path i don't have to you know stay here the enagram gives us such great self-awareness
and so i was able to go hmm i don't want to stay here this is not going to sustain me and
the key is being aware so whatever type you are i know for me i'm a type 9 i don't have to stay in
the constraints the box or whatever it looks like i need to use this in order to grow and to move
forward not to be like well this is just who i am i'm a type nine so i'm just gonna lay here forever
and i'm not gonna do what i need to do and just accept it that's not healthy that's not a great
long-term strategy that's a very short-term strategy which i did and i agree it works
for a short term and like i said even if you're not an enneagram type 9 this will help you look
at your type and look at and i have a video on stress arrows and i'll link that down below but
look at your type and look at where you go and then look at what are the average to unhealthy
pieces of that type and learn to recognize those signals those red flags in your own life that will
help you process things when you're going through them and what does pivoting look like for me
personally well the first thing i did was i got a bible and i looked up some verses and i just
spent some time with the lord that's my first step and i will say let me see if i can find my phone
monday so all this happened um all this happened sorry i had to answer a text okay
all this happened on a friday well that previous monday when i was spending time with the lord and
if the lord put this on my heart he said hillary you're the verse is your strength will come from
settling down in complete dependence on me isaiah 30 15. really he gave it he gave that to me on
monday and i was like yes lord i totally agree and i was thinking of other things in my life
and those are still applicable then by friday i'm like complete dependence like no i see what are we
gonna do dependence okay so that's what happened i thought that was kind of funny the second thing
was as i prayed i prayed for peace and wisdom and strength and knowledge and just that the
lord would meet me here in the place that i was because the peace i was praying for was real peace
not pre not peace created through just coping and watching tv and not dealing with life right again
that served me well for a day or two um but going forward i really need true peace and so that's
what i was praying for and true peace is that even when your life is chaotic and things are going on
around you you have an inner peace and that's what i was praying for i realized i needed to know okay
how do i grab myself again how do i settle down and find my real piece again my internal piece and
as a type 9 that's what our biggest desire is not all types have that same desire but for our nine
one of my biggest desires is internal peace and so that's what i was searching for and i would say
for you what does that look like for you because i know you might not be a type nine watching this
so i would ask you what does this look like for you what does it look like for you when you're
going through something like this the next thing i did is i started to research right researched
i looked into our finances and i thought okay do we have the finances to cover this do we
need to get credit for this do we have room in our budget do i need to make room in our budget
and i did some practical things and the the i'm not gonna lie there's a piece of me that just
wants to bury my head and not deal with that finances for me are super overwhelming and so
even though my husband who's a type 8 was also dealing with this i kind of came alongside him
and was like okay we do have to figure this out together we made some calls and we got
like four bids and we did the research and to be honest another hard piece was making a decision
even if like my type 8 husband's like oh we can make this decision i'm still like is it
the right decision what if it's the right not the right company you know like so i really struggled
with that but in this pivoting process i was like no we need to make a decision and move forward
and so we did and so in the end going towards our stress arrow is not always a bad thing right it's
a rumble strip it wakes us up don't look at it as i should never go there no it's actually okay
um there's a reason for it there's purpose behind it it like i said it's meant to wake us up and it
definitely woke me up when i started identifying all these ways that i was coping so for you what
do you do in stress what are your red flags it's important to know these things before
it happens and the big thing when people ask me well what am i supposed to do what does it look
like for me well what worked for you in the past there are definitely times in your life where
you chose a healthy cat to go on and i would i would just say well what did that look like
and when you're looking at what worked in the past and healthy decisions that you made this
is what helps you pivot and so go back to what you know sometimes good healthy coping place ask
yourself what was i happy long term with not the short term like i used to shop a lot and i would
use it as a coping mechanism but that was a very short-term happiness not a long-term thing right
because it wears off and so for you i'm asking you what is your long-term what in the past has
worked long term this is what helps you pivot and to not live in your stress point for long
because the purpose is yep you're heading towards it but you can pivot and not you know live there
and set up a house there right you might even camp there for a little while like i did
but you don't want to live there forever because there's purpose in going towards your stress point
but if you stay there for too long there's pain and so i think it's very i think it's a great
idea to be able to recognize this okay to sum this up whatever type you are i'm a type nine i think
it's important for not us not to just stop and be like well i'm a type nine so this is what i do no
i'm a type nine but i can pivot and i can choose a healthier way to cope i can live in a healthier
spot i can know my health ariel my stress arrow it's important that we have enough self-awareness
so that when this happens we can pivot we could choose a different path and go back to the
healthier side of mind type in your time right so that's all i have today guys i just wanted to give
you a real moment a real genuine moment of what's going on in my life how i handled it i just wanted
to be real and authentic in my process in my bed in my real life this is what's happening today
hopefully i'll be back upstairs tomorrow when the house cools off in the end i hope that the
sharing i just did with you helps you to recognize and identify where you go and stress and what you
can do and stress um to pivot faster that's the goal not to live there for a long time because i
used to this might have if this was like a long time ago um before i had so much self-awareness
i don't even know i probably would have watched tv for weeks and just been like
i can't deal with this at all and instead it was days so progress right that's all we need
progress moving forward i'm never gonna arrive it's never gonna be perfect i have grace for
myself have grace for yourself that's the purpose of learning the enneagram so we can love ourselves
and have grace for ourselves better and we can give that away to other people too let me know
in the comments below if this helped you and what are some ways that have helped you be able to
pivot and go back towards the healthy side of your type or your number or whatever we're calling it
i would love to know in the comments below also don't forget to subscribe i have lots of content
coming to you guys i put out two videos a week and don't forget to like this video it's so important
i appreciate you guys i love all you guys thank you so much for watching today and being in my
living room with me and being in a real moment with me i hope it helped you until next time bye
guys