- [Narrator] Hey Psych2Goers.
Are you currently in a relationship
you feel isn't working out?
You may be trying your best
to save what's left of the relationship
and are making sure you're making the right decision.
But sometimes it's better to have a good,
healthy separation with someone
rather than staying in a dying relationship.
This is why it's helpful to understand some signs
that someone may not be for you.
So here are a few signs.
Number one.
You feel like you can't be yourself around them.
Which parts of yourself do you change
when you're with a person?
Is it a certain personality trait of yours,
your looks, your style?
Why?
You may feel like this
because you're afraid of them viewing you in a certain way.
This is not a good sign
because it means that you think
that they're only attracted to a certain idea of you.
If you feel like you have to alter a part of yourself
just to meet another person's standards or to be of value,
you might be going through a personal problem,
brought on by self-esteem issues.
This type of behavior may be improved
by talking to your partner, friends, family,
or a mental health professional.
Please remember that you're beautiful just the way you are
and your self-worth isn't determined by the way you look.
Number two.
You always initiate conversations and dates.
Are you always texting them first?
Is it you who always reaches out to them
and asks what they're doing, how their day was,
or if they wanna go out?
Does it feel like you're the only one putting in the effort?
Someone being indifferent towards your efforts
can actually have a negative impact on your self-esteem.
Not having open, healthy communication in your relationship
may cause anxiety and self-blame.
Bring this issue up with your partner
to understand each other's sides of the stories
and find solutions.
If this type of behavior doesn't change after awhile,
it's probably an indication
that this person really isn't for you
because you're worth more than a half-hearted relationship.
Number three.
You don't feel their trust.
Do they often threaten you with breaking up
if you do something they don't like?
Are they the overly jealous type?
Have you been forbidden to talk to specific people
because your partner doesn't like them?
Your partner not trusting you
may be a manifestation of their own insecurity.
This might stem from many possible causes
like childhood upbringing or bad experiences in the past.
It's encouraged to talk to them about this behavior
and tell them how you feel when they try to micromanage you.
You may also get help by encouraging them to talk to you,
their loved ones, or a therapist.
If their behavior doesn't change after awhile,
then it's probably best to give them some space
to sort out their own problems by themselves.
Number four.
You fight instead of having healthy arguments.
Arguments, if done right,
are healthy parts of a relationship.
They can promote individuality, openness,
and respect between partners.
Through arguments,
you learn more about the other person
and their perspectives on different topics.
This helps you view future events through their lens
and understand their ways of thinking.
Arguments stop being helpful
when it's all about the fighting
and no longer about the growth.
When you notice that your fights
are getting more frequent and intense,
involving toxic relationship traits,
such as the use of negative terms,
physical abuse, and manipulation,
then it might be best
to ask for outside help and intervention.
Number five.
You can't open up to them about anything.
Your partner is your other half and your support person.
It's only fitting
that you feel comfortable around them enough
to talk about diverse topics, both serious and lighthearted.
If your partner constantly cuts you off,
doesn't validate your own opinions,
and spends most of the time talking about themselves,
they may just be looking for someone to talk to.
It's best to clear out any misunderstandings
in the relationship beforehand.
Do they just want someone to vent to?
Are they irritated when you talk about yourself?
If your partner does these things
out of narcissistic tendencies,
then they really may not be for you.
Number six.
You're very defensive when asked about them.
Somehow, your friends often seem to know
when things are going south in a relationship.
This is because they care about you a lot.
They tend to ask questions and observe you and your partner
when you are together.
Do you often feel the need to defend your partner
even though no suspicious questions are being asked?
It probably stems from how you perceive your partner
based on their own actions.
What are you defensive of?
Is that their attitude?
Have they done something
you don't want to tell your friends?
It might be a good idea to ask yourself these questions
and why you don't like being asked about your partner
in the first place.
If there really is an issue,
you might want to talk about this with your partner
to address the main problems in the first place.
Number seven.
You're afraid to let them meet the people you're close to.
Are you postponing your partner
meeting your friends or family?
Why do you think so?
It might be because you already know
they're not going to hit it off well.
The people close to you know you well,
sometimes even better than you know yourself.
The fact that you're avoiding the inevitable meetup
shows that you think there is something wrong
in your own relationship.
It might be a good idea to ask yourself
about the reasons for this fear in the first place.
Is it because of how your partner behaves?
Do you think their personality clashes
with the people that you're close to?
Have they done something your family will not approve of?
It's encouraged to talk to your partner about these things
for their own awareness too.
After all, not all people will get along at first.
However, most of the time,
the people you're close to only want the best for you.
So if you think they'll have a negative impression
of your relationship partner,
they're really might be something wrong.
Number eight.
You're constantly on the lookout for new partners.
Are you often asking yourself
if they're the right person for you?
Do you repetitively imagine yourself
being together with other people,
asking yourself if it would be a better match?
If you're always thinking about other people
or looking at others during dates with your partner,
that might be a sign that you're not as invested
in the relationship as you think you are.
Attraction to other people is normal.
It's just an act of noticing good traits in others.
But when you decide to act on those harmless feelings,
it's where things go awry.
You may feel this way
due to a lack of excitement in your relationship.
It might also be a method of escape
from a restrictive relationship
or a way of seeking comfort from others
because of bad communication habits
in your own relationship.
Whatever the reason is, it's important to ask yourself
why you're doing this in the first place.
Are you unsatisfied?
Does the thought of breaking up with them frequently
come to your head?
It's encouraged to discuss these points with your partner
to come across a mutual understanding
and conclusion together.
Number nine.
You don't feel like you're becoming a better person.
Have you reached a point in the relationship
where you've become stagnant?
Are you no longer interested in your hobbies?
Does it feel like you are not improving?
Collective growth is important in a relationship.
Your partner inspires you to be a better person
and vice versa.
However, if you both reach a standstill
where you feel unmotivated by each other's presence
and instead feel tired and weary,
it might be better to take a step back
and give space where it's needed.
A lot of this is caused
when the relationship becomes a routine,
instead of something exciting with your other half.
If you're starting to feel like it's a task
rather than an expression of love,
then it might work to find other ways
to get yourselves engaged in the relationship once again.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Sometimes, breaking up with them
is the breath of fresh air you might actually need.
And number 10.
You're staying in the relationship out of comfort.
Has it become a habit to stay in the relationship
just for the sake of it?
Are you afraid of the thought of being alone
if you break up with them?
If you think the relationship has reached its end
and there's no possible way for it to go anywhere else,
it might be best to end it properly.
It's nice to keep in mind
that not all endings have to be bad.
Sometimes you just have to do it and let life move on.
It may help to acknowledge
that you've done all that you can,
and that is what is important.
Sometimes, letting go is better than holding onto something
that no longer brings you joy or growth.
It's good to continuously ask yourself, are you still happy?
It sucks being in a relationship
with someone who you feel isn't right for you.
Do you have someone like this in your life?
What made you say so?
Please share your experiences in the comment section below.
We'd appreciate hearing about your stories.
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Thanks so much for watching and we'll see you next time.