We're sinking. We've gone down.
That was something went wrong.
I think that was the skirt collapsed at the front.
This meant we had to initiate our emergency crash procedure.
Do you know what I think this calls for, gentlemen?
-A hit of oxygen. -Oh, yes.
A good idea. Let's cheer ourselves up.
-Hey! -Ah!
-Hang on a minute. -Why is yours so small?
Why have they given you that one?
They've given you a sparkler canister from a Watney's Party Seven.
One more push and it will be out.
Chaps, you do realise what we've just done?
-We've exhausted the air supply. -We've used all...
We've used all our oxygen for fun, while sitting in a sinking van.
This is Hovervan One calling Avon rescue.
Avon calling, Avon calling, help.
Happily, because we'd only covered four of our 50 miles,
the crane didn't have far to come.
And after we'd fixed the skirt and refuelled again,
we were back on the road.
-Happy? -Yep.
-All is going well in the engine room. -And relax.
Sadly, though, the relaxing didn't last long.
-Oh, God, there's a lock. -We've got to go through the lock.
Can you go through locks in a... Do they let hovercrafts in?
To make matters worse, there was no lock keeper.
-Do you two feel up to a lock? -I've never done one.
Never done one in my life.
You've got to get the water level, but don't shilly-shally
because I'm going to be all by myself out here.
With Richard and James ashore...
Go, go, go! Get off!
I was a multitasking machine.
Oh, this is tricky. I'm having to drive and do all the engine stuff.
I am Mr Sulu, Scotty and Spock all rolled into one here.
Hang on, the water in the lock has got to be the same level as the boat.
-So we got to let... -So we have to go down that end.
-No, no, no. -Yes.
No, really. I've got a two-gallon fuel tank. Take your time.
It's quite loud when you're not on it, isn't it?
People probably will have to get used to the idea
when people have hovervans that canals are a little less tranquil
than they have been historically. It's a natural progression, really.
You have the pony when canals first began...
-Superhuman effort. -Yes!
...then internal combustion came and boats got diesel engines.
Now this is the future.
Here we go. Going in.
Yes, bit of power.
Power solves all things, as we know.
Yes!
Right, if you wind, I'll push.
Look at this!
-Locking down. Are we locking down, or... -I don't know.
We're locking down. Keep forward... What the hell is that?
-The boat will go wherever it goes. -Close all the paddles.
Yes. What's a paddle?
What are they doing?
Honestly, my dog would know how to work a lock. Look at them!
Sorry. Going to have to do the winding.
-That's down. -What?
-It's down. -Hammond, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Who's driving?
[bleep]
-I thought it would stay there. -Well, of course it won't!
The hovercraft has run amok in a lock.
-Get back on board! -Get in the hovercraft.
To try and capture our errant hovervan,
Hammond and I formed a pincer movement.
But sadly, as I climbed on board, the pincer movement went a bit wrong.
Oh, no!
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
-Have you fallen in? -No.
I'm the wettest a human being has ever been!
-Sitrep. We've... -Ruined it.
Well, we've knocked a man out of his boat.
Now we've jammed up the whole River Avon. Right, now, here's what we must do.
We must get it out of the lock and then we will get a tow
and then we can edit all of this out.
Having done all of that, we were back on the move...
-James, which way is it here? -Keep right.
..and reflecting on the many positives that had come out of our journey so far.
-We have had some calamities... -A couple.
-But they're not bad ones. -Not really.
Weren't for us.
I mean, apart from the broken windscreen,
the hovervan is working just as well as it ever has.
Yes, it's expensive.
I don't think we'd be able to sell this
for much less than a quarter of a million pounds.
Realistically, no.
-But... -It's money well spent.
...when you're up to here in the sitting room
and you could have made your escape,
you could have done and you chose not to buy one of these vans,
that is, I think, the essence of it.
-Hang on a minute. -What?
-Hang on. -What?
-Which way did you go back there? -You said right.
-I said left. -No, you didn't, James. You said right.
Whoa... What's that? Is that a weir?
-Turn it round. Turning, turning. -Turn it round. Go the other way.
Yamaha, give me every single rev that Yamaha engine has got.
-Give it more. -It's at the limit. There is no more.
-That's all there is. -We're being sucked.
-I'm going to turn it round. -Why are you turning right now?
-Do you want to go over backwards? -I don't want to go over it at all.
No, he's right. Go over forwards. It's better.
Holy... [bleep]
[bleep] Hammond, I want every bit of lift you can manage.
-I'm giving it everything it's got! -We're going over! We are going down!
-Oh, my God! -Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
-Yes! -Oh, God, we're through!
-We're still here! -It worked! It worked! It worked!
We went down a weir!
-And we're alive! -What a machine!
-That's the best thing I've ever survived! -I knew that would be all right!
-Did you? -I'm going to go back up.
You what? Don't be bloody stupid!
-Oh, come on! -You couldn't turn it round up there!
-It's not going to go back up. -Yes, come on, hovervan.
In the Shakespearean style,
horsepower, horsepower, my kingdom for some horsepower!
-It won't go up! -It will! It won't go up!
-You can't give it that many revs! -Power!
-Power! -Jeremy, that's too much...
-Oh, my God! -What's that smoke?
-You've ruined the engine! -You've blown the engine up!
-Power! -You've killed it!
You pillock!
And with that, back to the studio.