Hey guys welcome back to my channel, I'm so glad that you're here, and if you cannot tell from my
ridiculously big smile right now
I am so so excited about this week's topic um I
Wanted to make this video for a while, and I was just kind of doing some work
and I was like you know what I'm gonna sit down and make this video because it needs to happen because a lot of the
Questions that you guys ask me. It's they're different questions, but they all boil down to really the same thing and I say this to
Anyone that is a client of mine or?
friend follower supporter or whatever is
everything starts with you and
Everything that you want in life has to do with this simple thing
I mean it has to do with a lot of things
but I mean really it comes down to this simple thing so this video is all about learning how to
master your emotions and
Really understanding what self parenting is?
When I thought of really making this video, I said you know, maybe I'll make two videos
Maybe I'll really just dive into mastering your emotions
and then I'll make something on self parenting because I know I talk a lot about self parenting and
I know a lot of you guys
May know what I'm talking about, but you probably don't because I know I never heard about self parenting
I never heard the word before at all and it wasn't until
I was going through something really difficult that I actually found a
Brilliant brilliant woman her name is Margaret Paul. Definitely go check her out and
She talks all about it's called inner bonding and really
For me it's this
This is self parenting so
And self parenting has a lot to do with being able to master your emotions
So when I wanted to make two separate videos
I said you know what they're kind of cousins
But you need both like they just intertwine and you can't have one without the other so I'm so excited about this video
And I'm gonna stop rambling right now, and let's get right into the video so I want to start with
Mastering your emotions now if you were to Google how do I master my emotion you might get a lot of different stuff?
So but for me and my practice and what I help my clients with this is what mastering my emotions means to me
So if I this is about just really being a charge of how you feel in every single moment and most
Importantly not allowing external factors to play a part in where my energy goes
So I'm trying to keep a high vibration all day long. I'm trying to be as
You know happy and positive and excited about life as I can
That doesn't mean that horrific things sometimes don't happen in life or painful experiences don't happen
We have to be able to
Experience everything in life. This isn't about suppressing anything
This isn't about just being positive and every single moment and you know
Pretending that though that life is you know rainbows and sunshine every single day
No
But this is about learning how to when we are going through those difficult times
Learning how to parent ourselves through those times and get through them in a healthy way
mastering my emotions, also has to do with learning about
abusive behavior
It's about learning about narcissistic abuse emotional abuse different types of Defense you know mechanisms
Or tactics that that people will use it's about learning where my wounds are with inside myself. You know
What are the things that I carry wounds with and what are the things that I'm vulnerable to?
That way you know when someone does something?
That kind of stings you you know where it's coming from where is that sting coming from if you don't know?
You know the stuff that's going on inside of yourself, then you're going to allow people to
Offend you hurt you you know make you
basically you're allowing others to have a control over your vibration and learning how to master your emotions is taking responsibility for
your life for your happiness and every single moment so if
You know I'm on the phone with my friend or my sister or whatever and they're having a bad day of course
I'm gonna have empathy for that person and be there for that person
But I'm also gonna learn how to protect myself and not allow some of their stuff to really affect me
And that is especially true when you're dealing with abusive people
so we can't always control who we come in contact with we of course can control who our partners are and
Friendships are but we can't control who family is and even though we can
Not have relationships with some people it might be unavoidable that we're gonna see them from time to time
it's unavoidable that we might have to work with someone that is really abusive and
You know is completely unhealthy and toxic and negative or whatever and we have to learn how to be able to engage with these people
So a lot of people ask me a ton of questions a lot of people ask me
You know how do I increase my self confidence?
How do I deal with this narcissistic person and I want to get out of this relationship?
And what do I do and I have a friend?
That's really toxic
And all of these things of course we need to learn about codependency and all of those things because those are where our wounds are
but the other aspect of all of this stuff is learning how to have positive and healthy self talk and
You know how you feel in every single moment comes from the thoughts that you're thinking so
It could come from you know your friend being mad at you and because she was being kind of cranky now
It was sudden like you don't feel good and now you're cranky
but that's because you allowed that person's energy to affect you when you learn this stuff you learn how to
Be around anyone and put a bowl around yourself that way you're deflecting
their negativity or their stuff off of you again, it doesn't mean that we're not there for people it just means that
Especially if it's a talk to a toxic or abusive person it means that their stuff is not going to affect me
I don't need their validation. I know how to stand up for myself, and I know how to love myself
throughout dealing with this person, so what is self parenting self parenting is the ability to
Really counsel yourself coach yourself
Love yourself through an experience or a feeling so if I'm having a feeling whether it's fear self doubt anything
That's coming from my ego anything. That's coming from ego
Is that negative tape that's playing and that's really important to understand that we have those two parts of ourselves
We have our ego self, and we have our true self our true self is our soul our essence. It's the part of us
That's you know connected to God the universe
Source whatever it is that you want to believe in?
It's the part of us that is unconditional love
It is I always say the good angel and the bad angel
So you're a good angel is always encouraging you it believes in you it knows who you really are at your core
Your ego self or your negative your you know your bad angel
That's the part of you that wants to just keep you living in fear
It doesn't like change it wants to keep you kind of stuck and safe it thinks that this is
Actually helping you to keep you stuck and safe um and really it's not and again
I'm not gonna get into the ego, and how it was formed because that's a whole new video in itself, but really understanding that
Anything that is negative that you're thinking is coming from that ego self so anything that is positive and hopeful
And self loving is coming from your true self so when I teach people this process of self parenting
I always use the analogy of if you have children great, but if you don't have children
That's totally fine, too
But if someone you want to be able to get to a point where you're recognizing a thought that your thinking your
Recognizing a negative thought fear-based you know self sabotaging wants to keep you stuck
You know the thought that's unmotivated and telling you to kind of lay in bed
And don't go to the gym today or whatever those thoughts are all of those new eco
Thoughts all those negative thoughts you have to be able to recognize when those thoughts are happening that's number one so if you can't recognize
When those thoughts are happening then you're gonna get wrapped up in that thought and it's gonna be really easy to do um
So I always tell people to when you start doing this and you start practicing this stuff
To set a reminder on your phone a couple times a day
And just check in with yourself and just you know check in how am I feeling?
Do I feel happy do I feel hopeful so if you'll accept it about life
Do I feel kind of down?
But I feel tired do I feel stressed or I feel angry and really having learning to really have
Conversations yourself inside of your head like and be curious about what it is that you're feeling okay?
I feel stressed right now. Why do I feel stressed and really keep?
Digging into this pretend like you're having a conversation
with someone that you really love so if your son or daughter or
bestfriend
Parent whoever someone that you really really love and care about more than anyone in the world, right
That person came to you and said I'm feeling stressed. What would you say to that person you would say well?
Why are you feeling stress?
And you would be curious you would want to help this person you would want to dig out the reasons why this person is feeling
Fear or insecure or they feel like they don't have any confidence or they're scared of the future or they're feeling lonely
Whatever the feeling is so when you start digging. Okay? Well why do you feel lonely? I feel lonely because blah blah blah
Then you need to practice
Thinking and having this conversation in your head, then you need to practice having this conversation inside your head and asking yourself
You know okay? You feel stressed you feel lonely. You're feeling insecure and
Speaking to yourself the way you would your friend or someone that you really love which is honey. You're feeling lonely
understandably, so you know always
Validating what you're thinking because if you can't validate your own thoughts and feelings and then that means you're going to search for people outside
Of yourself to do it for you
And that's codependency 101 so you have to be able to really love yourself through a feeling and don't judge your feelings
That's so
Important because if your son or daughter came to you or your best friend or your mother or whoever it is that you you know?
You know try to use this analogy with then you would never judge their feelings. I know for me
I have a son and if my son came to me and said you know I'm feeling really insecure because
You know Billy didn't invite me to his house tonight
I would never judge that thought I've never really really liked that is a ridiculous thought
I would never judge him I would encourage him, and I would remind him of who he is I would tell him, honey
I totally understand how that can be hurt full of course
that's a reason to have hurt feelings, but you have to understand that you're an amazing human being and
You know while yes, it's hurtful
Don't worry about it
Sweetie because someone else will invite you to their party and you have plenty of friends around you and people that really love you
It's just a matter of having this conversation with yourself
and really learning how to coach yourself through your own feelings and and
Learning how to love yourself through a feeling that you're having no matter what the feeling is it can be something that you think is
absolutely ridiculous
But it's a feeling that your inner child is having and you have to be able to look at yourself as that
Little girl as that little boy that you once were and how would you treat your inner child if?
You know again your son or daughter came up to you and had this thought or this feeling you would never judge them for it
You would be there for them you would support them. You would validate them
You would love them through the feeling you would remind them of who they are because in that moment they're forgetting
and that's really what self parenting is and
It's tough to think of well when would I actually use self parenting?
But you use in every aspect of life if you're going to apply for a job
And you think I'm not gonna play a bad job. I'm never gonna get it
That's when you start self parenting yourself
Every negative thought you have you have to pretend like every negative thought that comes up would be coming from your best friend
would be coming from
someone that you really love and
What would you say to that person if they were having that thought when you learn to do this stuff?
Your entire life is gonna change because you're going to be able to learn how to change your negative self-talk and turn it into
Positive self-talk and you're gonna believe that
Self-talk because you're talking yourself through the feeling you're connected to your true self you're connected to that part of you
That's that's unconditional love. That's that's connected to source god
Energy, whatever it is that you want to believe and we all have these two parts of ourselves. We all have one part
That is unconditional love and that's the part. That's supporting us
Oftentimes we only hear that negative stuff because we've listened to it for so long and I always refer to to your negative
Ego, and that negative story, that's playing as your bully
It's your bully and you've been listening to it and you've been feeding it, and you've been nurturing it
And you've been getting wrapped up in that conversation
And now when that bully talks you listen right away, and when they talk that bully talks. It's as loud as day
You haven't focused on your true self you haven't focused on
You know your soul your essence your inner child you haven't listened to that voice to really understand that the more you listen to something
Where energy goes where is that saying where the mind goes energy flows?
I think that's what it is, but the more you listen to that part of yourself
That's unconditional love and you know and you believe it
And you know that it's right because it is it's the part of you that loves you unconditionally
And it knows who you are at your core
And it knows what you're capable of but when you start listening to that more often um
And parenting yourself through those thoughts that ego. It's never gonna
Fully go away
But it's gonna get quieter and quieter and when it does start to
Resurface, and it wants to kind of hit you with something negative number one you're gonna recognize
what's happening, and you're gonna be able to shut it up right away, and that's the key to mastering your emotions, you know any
Unless you're like a really enlightened Buddhist somewhere that is just meditating all day long, but for the most part
Normal human beings they don't don't do that um
You know the the best life coach or the you know the best athlete in the world or someone
That's you know wicked successful, Oprah
Tony Robbins like all these people they all have an ego they all have a negative tape that plays
the difference between them and us is
that they have learned how to master that they have learned how to
Change that tape right away and turn it into the that positive tape and that positive tape it's what is what has allowed them to
Be successful to create what they want in life to have happiness so really understanding. This is so so
Critical towards not just gaining things having money applying for a job and all of that stuff and Law of Attraction
And like everything like that. It's really just about learning kind of take care of yourself
It's learning about how to love yourself and be happy in life regardless of
What you have around you so I hope that this has kind of helped you guys understand
What self parenting is and learning how to master your emotions and again?
Almost in every single video I talk about this stuff. I just really wanted to make a video
Just about this in itself so you guys can start learning about what this is that way when you hear in other videos um?
You'll know what it is. I'm talking about so again
I hope that this has helped you guys if you have any comments, please leave them down below
Don't forget to subscribe if you haven't already and don't forget to give this video a thumbs up if you like it
I think that's enough stuff for you guys to do and I will see you next week