There are lots of talented actresses in Hollywood, but that's not what this video is about.
We're here to discuss the actresses who reliably make us cringe, grimace, and cover our eyes.
Those stilted line readings.
Those glassy eyes.
These actresses desperately need acting classes.
Once upon a time, Tara Reid was a bonafide It Girl, although we were never entirely clear
what "It" was.
Ever since starring in a slew of late '90s teen comedies, Reid hasn't exactly wowed moviegoers
with her acting chops.
That's probably because she doesn't really have any.
"That's nice.
Really, really nice.
Can I have a ride?"
"Sure."
"Vicki, wait!"
"Not for you."
Known for playing the theoretically adorable Vicky in American Pie, the actress evidently
didn't know what to do with her newfound fame.
Opening up to The Mirror in March 2019, Reid explained:
"At the time of American Pie my career was so high, it was blasting, and then it dropped.
All of a sudden, you go from one extreme to the other."
So which extreme is this?
"You guys, honestly, it's beyond….It's my favorite one.
It's so ridiculous, it's so bad that it's good."
Being nominated for a bunch of Razzie Awards certainly didn't help her reputation, although
one of her films was so preposterously bad, it managed to revive her career.
"Nick!"
The 2013 film Sharknado has already become a cult classic, a fact that Reid finds rather
surprising.
Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter in 2018, the actress admitted:
"It's amazing to me what happened with this little film.
It still blows my mind away.
It really does."
"It's got my foot, help me!"
As a child star, Lindsay Lohan delighted audiences in The Parent Trap.
She was once considered a talented actress, but then, something happened.
She grew up.
Lohan has starred in a bunch of really terrible films, and she's been nominated for several
Razzie Awards.
In fact, she won two Razzie Awards for the 2007 buzzkill I Know Who Killed Me, cleaning
up in both the "Worst Actress" and "Worst Screen Couple" categories.
And then there was the 2012 Lifetime calamity Liz & Dick, which saw the Bronx native playing
Elizabeth Taylor.
The performance was widely mocked, with The Hollywood Reporter writing:
"Lohan is woeful as Taylor from start to finish.
But, whatever you do, don't miss Liz & Dick.
It's an instant classic of unintentional hilarity."
"I think you might need a little bit of this."
"Urrrhuughh."
"Vodka!
Hair of the dog."
"Ayeeeyah...I need a dog's 'ole coat."
"That bad?"
Yes…that bad.
But it sounds like Lohan hasn't given up hope for a career renaissance somewhere down the
line.
In 2010, she told Vanity Fair,
"I know that I’m a damn good actress, and it’s been my passion since I was a child...I
want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies."
Sadly, we're not clear on what era she's referring to here.
Maybe 2009, when she starred in Labor Pains?
"You are so grounded!
FOREVER."
Madonna should probably just stick to singing, because the artist behind "Lucky Star" has
managed to collect nine Razzies for her film roles over the years.
It's not difficult to see why.
"When I was a kid, I liked to steal strawberries.
I'd sneak into the neighbor's yard at the end of the street."
The worst part?
She knows that people are judging her.
After starring in Evita, Madonna told The Los Angeles Times:
"When I was chosen to make the movie I knew I wasn't Andrew Lloyd Webber's first choice.
I don't think he was particularly thrilled with my singing abilities.
I knew I was going in with odds against me.
That's an awkward position to be in.
You feel everyone's waiting for you to stumble."
It's that rare Madonna performance that was actually hailed by critics, although Roger
Ebert was quick to point out that
"The movie is almost entirely music; the fugitive lines of spoken dialogue sound sheepish.
Madonna, who took voice lessons to extend her range, easily masters the musical material."
Some of Madonna's peers have voiced their concerns about her acting abilities, and in
no uncertain terms.
In a 2017 interview with Andy Cohen, sassy actress and singer Patti LuPone had this to
say about Madonna's performance in Evita:
"Madonna is a movie killer.
She's dead behind the eyes, she cannot act her way out of a paper bag.
She should not be in film or on stage."
Maybe LuPone could offer Madonna some acting classes.
We're sure that would go over really well.
"You make it sound like you were seduced."
"I was the one that kept saying no."
"You weren't saying no.
You were saying NOW."
Yes, we know, we know: Paris Hilton isn't really an actress.
But the socialite turned businesswoman has certainly appeared on the silver screen from
time to time.
Who could ever forget her appearance in House of Wax, a dippy 2005 horror film that features
Hilton screaming a lot?
The Hollywood Reporter was absolutely ruthless in its review of the film, writing that,
"[Hilton is] so bad she steals the show."
You'd think she would've taken the hint and pulled the plug on her acting career, but
no.
She followed up House of Wax with the 2008 comedy The Hottie & the Nottie.
Hooray for us!
"Yeah, that'd be fun."
"Yeah?"
"But...the timing's terrible."
Sadly, the critics weren't any friendlier this time around.
Rolling Stone's Peter Travers gave the film half a star out of four, writing:
"We'll always have Paris, at least to kick around, thanks to a zombified performance
worthy of George Romero in this limp-d--- of a comedy."
At least she knows how to take a joke.
When House of Wax came out, producer Joel Silver printed "See Paris Die" t-shirts as
a part of the marketing campaign.
When Fox News asked her about it, she simply said,
"At first, I wasn't too keen on the idea, but, um, whatever.
I can laugh at myself."
Demi Moore wasn't always considered a bad actress.
In fact, she was a true Hollywood icon for many years.
In the early nineties, It seemed like Moore could do no wrong following the success of
the romantic drama Ghost.
The film cleaned up at the box office, earning $500 million worldwide.
But then, Moore's luck seemed to change.
She starred in a series of ferocious flops, including a disastrous adaptation of The Scarlet
Letter in 1995.
But critics still had high hopes for the star.
As Empire wrote in its review:
"For all the talent on display, this is a waste of movie."
Her movie Striptease quickly became a punchline.
Moore shaved her head for 1997's G.I.
Jane...but at the end of the day, she shouldn't have even bothered.
The film earned her a Razzie for "Worst Actress."
"So when a man tries to rescue another man, he's a hero, but when he tries to rescue a
woman, he's just going soft."
At the time, a Disney exec told Newsweek:
"We don't know what to do.
People just don't want to see her.
We would have to drag them kicking and screaming to see this movie."
January Jones shot to fame playing the ice queen Betty Draper on AMC's Mad Men, but when
she starred as Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class, audiences began to wonder whether "icy"
was the only thing she could play.
Complex magazine noted that
"The physically hot Mad Men star plays a character who's authoritative and dominant in the comic
book series with robotic vapidity...Jones downgrades the character into X-Men's version
of an Austin Powers Fembot."
And how's this for chilly?
Jared Gilmore played Betty Draper's son in Mad Men, but he left the role in 2011.
On his way out, he made sure to offer some advice to his replacement, telling TV Guide:
"Be careful around January [Jones].
She's not as approachable as the others...Everyone else is so nice."
Perhaps Jones' alleged iciness has something to do with her lack of experience.
In 2014, she told GQ:
"The fact is, I had zero credits when I arrived [in Los Angeles], I had no pull, no experience.
I had never worked and had no training."
Milla Jovovich has starred in loads of horror and science fiction films over the years.
The 1997 sci-fi thriller The Fifth Element put her on the map, and in 2002, she debuted
as Alice in the first of many, many Resident Evil films.
As it turns out, Jovovich's hubby is Paul W.S. Anderson, the director behind the post-apocalyptic
franchise.
That may explain how she landed the role.
"I made you."
"Yeah.
Big mistake."
Jovovich seems perfectly content starring in this middling fare.
As she told The Georgia Straight in 2009:
"When we started, I was a hot chick with a gun and now I am [an] old chick with a gun."
In 2019, the model-turned-actress appeared in the Hellboy reboot, which was met with
abysmal reviews.
This inspired Jovovich to write on Instagram:
"All my raddest films have been slammed by critics.
It's f---ing hilarious...EVERY.
SINGLE.
ONE."
Hey, at least she's got a sense of humor about it.
When Kate Hudson starred as Penny Lane in Almost Famous in the year 2000, it was impossible
not to compare her to her legendary actress mom, Goldie Hawn.
"We are not groupies."
"This is Penny Lane, man.
Show some respect."
In his review of 2004's Raising Helen, Roger Ebert wrote:
"Kate Hudson, who stars, seems to be following in the footsteps of her mother, Goldie Hawn;
both have genuine talent, but choose too often to bury themselves in commercial formulas."
Hudson went on to star in a bunch of rom-coms, all of which were instantly forgettable.
In 2019, Buzzfeed News wrote:
"Increasingly, Almost Famous [feels] like a fluke: a role in which Hudson played some
version of herself, and never found another one where she could pull off quite the same
trick."
Harsh.
What?!
Dude.
Could it be that Hudson's been led astray by industry bigwigs?
Some folks seem to think so.
The Alliance of Women Film Journalists awarded the star the special mention of "Actress Most
in Need of a New Agent."
We'd take it one step further and say she needs a decent acting coach, too.
At least Hudson pivoted into another successful career, as the head of activewear brand, Fabletics.
Here's Megan Fox acting her heart out in Transformers, Michael Bay's 2007 blockbuster.
"Whoa, nice headers.
You've got a high-rise double-pump carburetor.
That's…pretty impressive, Sam."
In 2011, her co-star Shia LaBeouf told The Los Angeles Times:
"This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role
in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America."
But a 2009 survey revealed what moviegoers really thought of Fox.
As Reuters reports,
"Megan Fox was overwhelmingly voted both the year’s sexiest female actress, and the actress
who gave the worst performance of...2009."
Fox didn't do much to help her case.
That same year, she basically acknowledged that acting lessons wouldn't hurt.
Discussing her performance in Transformers, she told Entertainment Weekly:
"I'm terrible in it.
It's my first real movie and it's not honest and not realistic.
The movie wasn't bad, I just wasn't proud about what I did."
When asked if she thought she was a good actress, she admitted:
"I think I could be.
If I really buckle down, I think one day I could be a very good actress."
Back in 2011, Jennifer Love Hewitt received quite the unfortunate acting title.
As the AV Club reports,
"Thanks to a joint effort between Slate and Rotten Tomatoes, naming the best and worst
actors and directors of the past 25 years is now a matter of statistical certainty."
So far, so good.
But here's one statistic that's not so cheering.
According to the AV Club:
"Jennifer Love Hewitt has been found to be the worst actress of the last 25 years, with
the dubious distinction of having never starred in a film that’s achieved a 'Fresh' rating."
But wait, there's more: In 2016, the actress had a brief stint on the dreary CBS show Criminal
Minds.
The casting choice dismayed several die-hard fans, and some of them even petitioned to
get her off the show.
That petition stated, in no uncertain terms:
"We can only stand so many more episodes of this Lifetime Movie-style acting."
As of the making of this video, this nasty online plea has closed, and it only garnered
42 supporters.
Still, that's gotta hurt a little…right?
"Yeah, I took a year off when I got Meg and it was…the best year of my life."
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Criminal Minds showrunner Erica Messer revealed
that the actress was written off the show so that she could give birth to her second
child.
She told the publication:
"Jennifer wanted to be able to give this second baby everything she gave her first, and [that
means] taking time off to be a full-time mom."
Please don't tell that to the 42 people who signed the petition.
Just let them have this.
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