I can't
It's the middle of the summer!
I can't
Ok, no no no. Ok no, no I-
Alright fine, fine I'll do it
Miel's dog, Roux, wants a sweater. Damn it! I'm going to make her the most perfect chic dog sweater Pinterest has to offer
But I'm going to need some help
No
No, no, no
Already did him
No
Ahhhhh
*smooches the picture of Phil*
*phone rings*
Is he ignoring me?
*ringing continues*
Hey, Phil, are you doing?
Ant-man yeah, that's a really really good nickname
Yeah, Phil. I was trying out a new nickname for you. Fill me up
I have a really quick question. I think that you can help me out. Yeah
Yeah, if I wanted a flashback to five years ago. I would call you up for hair styling advice
Yeah, so it's calling because nails dog rou was asking me if I could make this really cool chic sweater that she saw on
Pinterest, I don't know anyone that would be better for helping me
I saw your snazzy jacket, and I'm like Phil has got his a fashion game on lock. Ok-
Really?
from London to La? tonight.
I...had no idea
How long is that flight?
14 hours
So, I'll see you at like 6 a.m. then?
Alright
Let's do it. See you soon. Bye wow
A: OMG, Hey thank you so much for coming all the way out from London
P: No worries
A: Let's get to it then
P: Where is the Little Pupper? A: Ah, she's hiding? She's-she doesn't want to show her face until she's wearing the best clothing
A: First off, Thank you so much phil for coming all the way out here from London. P: Thanks for having me!
A: Yeah!
A: Yeah, you were actually the last person I thought that would agree to this
P:Yeah?
A: Because you live a 14 hour flight away. That's.. that's dedication
P: I know, it's just what I do when I want to steal the perfect dog...
P: *cough* *cough*
*Anthony stares*
P: Sorry, I- No, I mean come and visit
A: Right..
A: Um, So she really wanted this sweater that she saw I looked it up and-
P:It's not just a dog sweater. It's a chic dog sweater A: it's a chic ya
A: But here we can see how it's gonna look
P: Omg
P: This already looks hard to make. I'm seeing arrows and diagrams.
So, did you bring a jacket that we can cut up?
A: I don't have any sweaters that I want to ? We're going to alter these. This is um..
Instructions, we're going to get it wrong now
A: No, We're fine! This was a bad point in my life when I thought it would look really good if I were to drop crotch
jeans. P: wow that is a dropped crotch. Is this going to be the? A: yeah this will go around her neck this is dog head A:yes
P: This is dog butt A: yes P: these are dog legs. Woof woof woof
A: Uh, exactly yeah, I can see it alr- *Phil attacks* A: Ahhhh
P: Do we got scissors? Or are we just tearing this with our teeth? A: UH I have scissors and a sharpie. P: Is that all you have? A: What else do you-? P:What about-
P: Glitter A: Gli-? No P: Sparkles A: I mean, no no
P: You need to make it special somehow. Maybe we can cut some stars into it A: YES
P: How long is the dawg?
A: I'm gonna guess about... here. P: Ya, and what shape is her butt?
A: About that (●ᴥ●) P:That's a nice curve (¬‿¬) A: Ya
P: *whistles* A: Wowww P: I can't whistle by the way so that's how A: Wait- for real?
P: *Attempts to whistle again*
A: Woah ~a lotta people can't whistly Anthony ;(~
A: UH if you wanna do the cutting P:My mom said I should never use scissors all- A: She's not here today
P: Ha-ah
P: Right, here we go. Why are my hands shaking?
A: Are you nervous?
P: I Don't know why but here we go. A: Oh my God! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) P: ヾ｜￣ー￣｜ﾉ Woah
A: OK you can go do it. P: Da(n) (^L^)
A: These are my cool Justin themed *blah blah* I can't leave with- P: Anthony! No dropping crotch for you anymore. It's all about the dog
A: ⊙﹏⊙
P: I'm just gonna do a big
P: *Snip* A: Woah P: *snip* A: Oh P: *snip* A: Ok
P: There! A: Alright. Ya ya ya, I think we're done P: Ruff A: I think that fits right!
P: Pet me Anthony ( ಠ◡ಠ )
P: Woof! Ruff...Ruff!
A: That feels good your hands are so smooth actually P: Ya I know, I moisturize them
A: Alright, so now wants me to curve it in... P: Oh
P: I'll draw again A: Let's see ya
P: Woooo woah! A: Yes
A: Alright. P: I' gonna get my fingers chopped off. Anthony I need all my fingers. *Panics*
P: You're dangerously close.
A: Oh, I did not do a very good- P: No, that's- that's not good. (A: That is baaaaad.) That is not chic
P: How many tiny dog coats have you made in your life?
Ok, and I can tell
A: This looks pretty good! P: I mean, sure.
So now we need to cut a hole in it?
*still Phil*: So I just shove this-is this through it? A: UH P: Just stab it through?
P: YES
P: Let's release all your frustrations into this
A: Don't call me Padildo! P: Ya! A: Not my name! P: Padilla (like hella) A: Padilla... P: Padil-... Padill... *correctly* Padilla! A: YAA
P: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. this looks exactly like the image *laughs*
We can fix this. Look. This is what I learned in Tiny Dog Coat School.
A: Oh good. Yaa Phil ;) it in *fill it in*
P: Ey, alright.
A: This is going for like a kind of uh... P: I wanna say breezy. A: Ya!
A: Look, how wide that is. P: That's nice. A: Okay, That might be good. P: Yeah. A: Phil, I have to say you were just a little over-ambitious, I felt
A: But this, this is proven that I think that you you really are the dog avenger (?) P: I am dog whisperer, dog avenger
P: I feel like we need to cut a star in the top or something. A: A star? Ooo P: Then it'll be like a furry star. A: YES
A: Should we draw the star? P: Yes A: Draw a few shapes. P: Okay
P: Ok, that is how to draw a star! A: That's great! P: Now draw something British
A: Uhhh (●﹏●)
P: What's this? A: You're going to have to guess. P: It's the queen... It's Big Ben!
A: Yup! Alright we're going to cut Big Ben on Rue's back!
P: So, I'm going to be the star and you can do Big Ben
A: Don't hurt yourself! P: I'm scared!! *Blood spurts*
P: Okay. I'm in!
A: You almost split your finger off . P: I know but that's what I do for my art. A: Right right.
P: I'm having trouble with this star now.
P: Or as how you say it *hard bad American accent* Starrrrr A: How do you say it? Staawr? P:Staw
P: If you want to speak like an American just put a loads of Rs in everything
A: If you want to speak like you're from England for lots of Ts. P: yeah A: Can I get to the cup of water? *in British accent*
P: *Laughs* That's offensive. I'm gonna stop making you a dog coat. *Anthony laughs*
A: That looks like a bullet hole. K, now I'm gonna cut out Big Ben
P: Do you wanna know a fact about Big Ben?
A: I'd love a fact about Big Ben
P: Big Ben is the name of the bell and not the clock tower. A: Oo
A: I drew everything except the bell. P: Ya, so you technically failed
A: I'm-I'm a stupid American. P: You are.
P: That is Big Ben?!? *Anthony dying* That is offensive to my people
P: Looks like you could put this as a Balaclava. A: What?
P: You guys don't say balaclava (no, we don't)? A: What is this?
A: Ba-la-clava
P: It's one of those- It's like a sock that you put over your head with two eyeballs
A: Oh, you mean a ski mask? (YASS)
P: No, I mean a balaclava
P: So, you need to draw some stars on it or something or write something? What could we write?
A: Say "Chic Bitch". Cuz she's a female dog.
P: I'll do "chic" in my chic-est letters.
A: You want me to write the "bitch"? P: YA *Anthony laughs*
P: You can write there
P: with like a kiss at the bottom A: Oh, ya ya ya
A: That- P: Look at that. A: Chic Bitchhh P: Look at it!
P: Is she gonna like this? (I'll have it instead if she doesn't...js) . A: I think she's gonna like it!
P: Are we done? A: Done! Wow. Uh..
A: Should we go try it on her? P: Let's do it -.-
A: Alright! Are you ready?
P: Hello, British people are friendlier, I promise.
P: We made you a little sweater!
A: We made you your a chic sweater!
P: Do you want to try it on?
A: She needs to think about it for a second.
P: This is gonna transform your life to a new level of comfort.
A: You were so excited about this before but now..
P: I think she's seen who made the sweater and now she's having second thoughts?
A: Yes, she is.
P: *as Roux* I thought this was Channel but it's actually Phil!
A: Alright, let's try it on.
P: She wants it! A: Here you go, Rue.
*Drumroll*
P: Put her head down!
A: Um... Still doesn't.. *Phil laughs*
A: Um, we might have uh miscalculated the uh arm.
P: I think we made it for a tiny chihuahua. Look at this!
A: How do you feel about that? I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but it's still pretty good, right?
A: Oh my God, you love it? Aww. P: I think she hates it
A: Mm.
P: I think she hates it Anthony
A: Do you-
P: I flew all this way and she hates the outfit (৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)
A: Awww
P: I think it was the foul language. The fact that you didn't have any glitter.
A: Yeah.
P: It was the fact that you made it out of something that your crotch was pressed against.
A: Let's take it off you.
*Sad music plays*
P: I'm sorry. Can we just put this in your room? *Anthony weeps because of his failure*
A: We'll make it up to you next time. P: Yesss ;(
A: We'll get it next time, ok?
P: We'll do it!
A: Phil, it's ok. It's ok, Phil.
*Sad music vanishes*
P: Well, ok. I think in forgiveness you should just let me take her to England. Forever.
A: Tell-tell Phil thank you even though you know, he was a failure and I had nothing to do with it.
A: Well, thank you Phil for coming all the way out! Thank you Roux for, um, attempting to wear the sweater even though you ended up hating it.
P: Yeah, so just put Roux in my suitcase and I'll be on my way.
A: I think she's gonna stay here.
P: Ok, I guess I'll stay here too then! :) Forever.
A: Say "goodbye" Roux!
P: Bye!
Roux: Cya later, bye guys! Press a like!
P: Is that what you think her voice is?
*Anthony's bad voice for Roux*: Cya later bye!
P: Cya later, bye guys! *Awkward* ...
P: Woof woof woof