♪ Holla at ya boy, I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot ♪
♪ Patron and La Croix, well into my 30s ♪
♪ And still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ I've been a grownup for a long time now ♪
♪ Can you help me tie this tie? Because I don't know how ♪
♪ All of my friends have good jobs, houses ♪
♪ Pensions and stocks ♪
♪ But moving on is an achievement ♪
♪ I can't seem to unlock ♪
♪ My clothes are all arranged in a giant pile ♪
♪ I think my cat is dead in there ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't seen him a while ♪
♪ Wear clothes four days in a row ♪
♪ Smoke cigarettes in the shower, when I was a kid ♪
♪ By now, I thought I'd work at Nintendo Power ♪
♪ If you invite me out to something, I'm probably ♪
♪ Gonna pass, tonight is the high school reunion of ♪
♪ My senior class, they're all talking 'bout their children ♪
♪ Wives and career paths, while I'm at home high as hell ♪
♪ Making dick castles in Minecraft ♪
♪ I call this beauty the Wang Trade Center ♪
♪ It gets hit by penis planes on the 'leventh of Schlongtember ♪
♪ And never forget, better yet, always remember ♪
♪ Not a single penis plane hit Tallywhacker Seven ever ♪
♪ Jizz fuel cannot melt steel boners ♪
♪ But insurance paid off double to their Bilder-balls owner ♪
♪ I know that was a sophomoric rhyme ♪
♪ But that is not all that I'm doing ♪
♪ With the years of my prime ♪
♪ I also run a forum ♪
♪ For hentai of Land Before Time ♪
♪ This is Littlefoot and Ducky ♪
♪ Engaged in a sixty-nine ♪
♪ But it's embarrassing to be this age and still start ♪
♪ To sweat when someone asks to use your laptop ♪
♪ For the Internet, here we go ♪
♪ This game is called Autofill Russian Roulette ♪
♪ And there's only three safe letters in the alphabet left ♪
♪ Oh, God, please don't let 'em type a "Y" or a "P" ♪
♪ Or an "X" or an "R" or a "T" or a "B" ♪
♪ Yo, on second thought, hey, give that laptop back to me ♪
♪ Angle the screen and discreetly click Reset History ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Huh, maybe I don't respect myself ♪
♪ Taco Bell four times a week, I don't do this for my health ♪
♪ But I cannot eat at home because ♪
♪ It always makes me nauseous ♪
♪ Brita filter ain't been changed ♪
♪ Since W. was still in office ♪
♪ Yeah, take to the streets, we running all this ♪
♪ Doughnuts in the parking lot down at where the new mall is ♪
♪ So while you sit and watch TV with your dumb wife ♪
♪ And dumb baby, I'm out there bombing the city ♪
♪ And got the whole squad with me ♪
♪ Yeah, the squad's pretty much just Raoul ♪
♪ He speak English not that good ♪
♪ But he still seems pretty cool ♪
♪ He doesn't know it, but he's ♪
♪ Probably like my closest friend ♪
♪ He lets me read magazines without having to buy them ♪
♪ Dinner at a gas station, taking out some cash ♪
♪ Eat an egg salad sandwich standing over the trash ♪
♪ Got so much garbage in the car that I can't see out the back ♪
♪ My entire grocery list is just liquor and snacks ♪
♪ Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms ♪
♪ It's time I grow up, but I don't know how to start ♪
♪ For Halloween, I gave kids Nicorette and old Pop-Tarts ♪
♪ Sleep with the TV on, 'cause I'm not cool with the dark ♪
♪ And I'll turn around and go home instead of parallel park ♪
♪ Friend's wife is breastfeeding ♪
♪ At brunch on the strip ♪
♪ Put my shades on so they can't tell I'm trying to see nips ♪
♪ Still need to ask them both to help me figure out what to tip ♪
♪ Then take an Uber home because it's noon and ♪
♪ I'm pretty ripped, and I don't know if it's heroic ♪
♪ Or depressing as shit, but don't think I'll figure ♪
♪ Life out, so I might as well quit ♪
♪ And if you ever get tired of trying to work it all out ♪
♪ You know where to come and find me ♪
♪ If you want to hang out ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit ♪
♪ Holla at your boy ♪
♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪
♪ Well into my 30s, and still permanently lit ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit. ♪
♪ ♪