- Wow, that was cruel.
- That's really -- - That was so cruel!
- Yeah, breathe.
- Whew, my word!
Have you ever gotten a parking ticket?
I bet it just ruined your whole freakin day!
Well, we're going to ruin today for eight people.
For science,
and for my own sick pleasure,
but primarily for science.
And don't worry, we're totally going
to cheer them up after, but how we do it is
what today's experiment is really all about.
We're going to try to cheer them up in two different ways,
either by using sympathy or empathy.
According to University of Houston researcher,
Dr. Brene Brown, these two responses have the potential
to yield very different outcomes.
So, we thought we'd put her claim to the test.
We invited participants in
and told them we'd be running them through an experiment,
but that it wasn't quite ready to go yet.
In the mean time, we had them fill out
our classic happiness test from season one.
I keep a stack of these babies in a drawer at home.
Don't say that's weird.
All fake happiness scientists have that drawer.
Moving on.
As soon as they were done with the test we pretended to cut,
and told them we had to set up the experiment.
- [Director] All righty, and let's cut.
Guys that's a cut,
cut, cut, cut...
- While we shuffled things around,
one of the crew came in
and told our participant
they had gotten a parking ticket.
- Hey guys, is anyone parked out
on the street with a white Infiniti?
- Me
- You didn't park at the meters did you?
- Yes
- Do any of you guys have a black Toyota?
- Oh, please don't tell me it's a Toyota Yaris.
- Yes - Oh my gosh, seriously?
- Yeah
- What happened?
- No - This was just on there.
- Oh, why did I get that?
- Did I just get a parking ticket? Shoot.
- I swear, I just put money in the meter.
- I paid it for two hours and a quarter of.
- I paid for the parking meter.
- Did you?
- And it said approved.
- Cause the sign said two hours at like 10 p.m.,
so I was like, oh I should be okay.
- Son of a gun.
- Kinda sucks
- Did you get a parking ticket?
- Yeah - Oh
- I thought that street was safe though,
cause today's Monday, right?
- It is Monday.
- So it said, no...
There's street sweeping on Tuesday,
and it said two hours between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
- Are you sure it wasn't 10 a.m. and 6 p.m.?
- I should probably take a picture of it and try to...
- It's like dang.
I don't know how I got a ticket.
I'm not in the red.
- Now, I try to cheer them up.
To one batch of volunteers,
I would show some sympathy
by acknowledging their frustration,
but trying to get them to look on the bright side.
Did you get a parking ticket?
- Yeah.
- Whoa, that sucks.
- I'm not exactly sure why.
- Good thing they caught it.
Maybe you would have gotten towed
if it had been there longer, or something like that.
- That's true.
- Yeah
Gotta look on the bright side.
- It could have been worse,
I guess.
- Oh man. - You know?
It's not like your gonna get towed or anything.
- Do they do that around here?
- They're vicious.
Yeah, at least you didn't get towed or something like that.
- Okay
- Maybe you could fight it.
- I hope so, cause I'm kinda like,
that's a little...
- Yeah
For the other batch, I would show empathy
by sharing their frustration, and embracing it.
Did you get a parking ticket?
- Yes, but I just paid for two hours.
- Ouch!
- They're the worst.
- They just blow your whole day.
- Yeah
- I'm stunned. It was 63 dollars.
- Oh no.
Tickets are so expensive.
Maybe they made a mistake or something.
That sucks though.
- The credit card didn't go through, or something.
- Maybe, yeah, cause you just walk away
right after you do it. - Yeah
- It said approved before we walked away.
- Oh shoot, I swear my car was, one time,
13 inches from the curb
and they were like too much.
- That's ridiculous. - Yeah
I've gotten parking tickets from the city
and like, that were not fair.
And I know everybody says that,
but I swear.
After knocking back one full dose
of either sympathy or empathy,
we had our participants take a re-worded happiness test
to see how they were impacted.
- Do you need me to take that quiz again?
The answers are gonna change.
- Actually, that's a really good idea,
just for the sake of us, for our data.
- Do you want me to take this when I'm rolling or now?
- Keep in mind, I didn't actually
do anything to make their ticket go away.
Both groups still took that second test
thinking they got a ticket today.
Ready to start the experiment?
- Yeah. - Cool.
You've actually already done the experiment.
You did not get a parking ticket today.
- Oh!
- That's amazing!
- All right, so breathe.
- That's awesome!
- Yeah. You feel a little better?
- Yeah
- That makes me really happy
- That looks so real. I was like,
I thought it was a ticket and I was like, wait a second.
- I know I checked the signs.
What did I do wrong?
- The group I sympathized with
saw their happiness go down by an average of 6.71%.
Not shocking, really.
What was surprising was how
the people I empathized with felt afterwards.
We expected their self-reported happiness level
to decrease but not as much as the other group.
In reality, their happiness went up
by an average of 6.92%.
Turns out, misery really does love company.
- I felt like we were on the same team,
like the same side, like oh you know,
this guy know exactly what I'm talking about.
- Feeling like I'm not the only person
that gets a ton of parking tickets.
Made me feel better and I was like, okay you're good.
Like this will, you know, blow over.
- If someone really sits down
and is like, oh my gosh we'll figure this out,
I'm on your team, then you feel like
they're kind of going above and beyond
being a decent human being.
- That sucks that you had to go through that,
you know, that's like the typical,
like your average response.
People who really care, they'll be like,
yeah I've been there, you know.
They'll take the time to relate with your situation.
To help you feel better to get you out of it.
- Now, I'm not saying trying to maintain
a positive outlook isn't a good idea,
but right when someone's feeling the pain
the best thing you can do to cheer them up,
is to understand them and make them feel a bit less alone.
- You just need someone to talk to,
and we just need someone that is genuinely listening
to our problems and sometimes all
you need to do, is like, let it out.
- Could you forget how that can make you feel,
and how instantly that can make you feel better?
- People will definitely feel a lot better
when then know that you've been where they've been.
Even if you haven't been there,
and you haven't gone through what they've gone through,
at least try to relate in some type of way.
- So, next time someones hurting
maybe don't tell them to look on the bright side.
Instead, try to look at their bummer situation
from their point of view, on their level.
And how does showing empathy affect the empathizer?
Well, we'll find out next time
on the Science of Empathy.
♫Soulpancake