How's it going, gorge? Stop your gawpin', and let's get warpin'!
Now, for a guy who claims to be a Skywarp fan, it's certainly been a minute since I gave him any meaningful airtime.
I mean, it's not like he's shrunk away. He's crushin' it out there!
He's all over the main lines, new Masterpiece on the go,
he's never more than five paces behind Starscream, chucklin' at something on his phone,
but the last time I gave my gormless goth BF an actual official numbered episode was friggin' 2016.
So it's me, isn't it? I'm the one that's not keeping up. Standard.
So let's teleport to the top with the most recent and mighty decent bite-sized banger that is Transformers Legacy Skywarp!
So yes - from Basics, to Scout class, to Legends, to Core class, the slightly-small-size Transformer tallness tier just keeps on scurryin' on,
rolling with the reboots and regularly re-badging for no appreciable reason,
and as of last year or so, Core class has been flingin' us a fun-sized fstful of baby-scale badasses
based on all-timer characters with a side sprinkling of originals and unexpected oddballs
and so far they've been great, honestly!
Like, the Soundwave was actually my top toy of '21, dishin' up a dinky downscale of his own Masterpiece,
the Megatron's a fun little fury box, and also there is a Starscream
which, of course, tills the soil for a repaint crop of anything between 1 and infinity billion
but let's just start with one, yeah?
This one.
Yes indeed, War-class Skycorp here shoves his way onto shelves in a shower of shorty shenanigans as a palm-szed purple planeman
and a righteous representation of the stable Seeker Deceptijet dudeod
and while yes, he is just a little guy, just a little birthday boy,
the job he's doing would be plenty impressive for a toy of any size!
I mean, the general look is picture perfect - all razorblade wings and intimidating shoulder towers and the chumbly beehive bod.
Like, d'you know what I mean? This is one tight little blighter!
The detail here is just delectable, with a tasteful level of crispy greeblies that augment but don't overwhelm,
like these inlaid leg lines, these simmerin' inner wings, and some perfectly presented extreme air-vent areola!
And honestly, it's astonishing how sharp that face came out.
That is, I do struggle to be blown away by a simple Starscreamy head in the current year of our lord
but this clean, and this expressive at THIS scale? Not bad, baby!
And the articulation's honestly an easy match for a lot of way bigger figs.
Knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, full head spin, bonus 90-degree wing flap? This is scorchin' stuff!
This is good as toys three times its size, plus it's little, so it's (a) cute, and (b) portable.
I'm serious, I'm taking this thing out for a vanilla latte. See ya!
But in a bewildering blue-sky bummer, somebody somewhere made the dumbass decision to start futzin' with his equipment.
I'm sure you've clocked the absence of the trademark zappers which, honestly, a lot of bots would probably get away with,
but like, these lanky arm lazers are such a crucial part of the Seeker style guide that he looks wrong without 'em; incomplete.
And there's no way we're fillin' that very noticeable void with whatever THIS thing is.
I don't know what that is. I don't even know what it's SUPPOSED to be.
Like, clearly it's a component of something, isn't it?
We're doing like a build-a-figure accessory accumulator with the other Core kids.
Who IS Gherkin?
So I suppose it's the hilt of some kinda stuck-together Skywarp sword? My favourite Zelda game.
But on its own, it's f**kin' useless! Like, is it a tuning fork? Tongs? Like an early Bart Simpson slingshot? Tongs?
Armada Megatron's head? Tongs? A Magnet?
Some kinda angry 3? Good band name, but it's no good on its own, is it? It's no fun! It's confusing!
Tongs!?
But I guess, worst case scenario, I'll have to also buy Hot Rod and Iguanus. Ohhh nooo!
Best case scnario - 2mm ports. Same as Action Masters! Whayyy!
Oh! Baby.
So as a fresh take on the Seeker-type archetype, this cheeky chad appears to have been designed entirely around an all-new transformation
that puts that wing-flip on the Y axis.
You like, unclamp the chest and then 180 the entire torso around, it's friggin' rad!
And YES, it's a total cheat. Yes, it leaves the full bod plate wildly visible and upside-down on the underside
complete with arms and feet and antikibble cockpit, but it's cool! I'm not mad. I am incapable of mad.
It's just where he keeps his Orangina!
And the jet mode is such a joyful dart of delight!
Delart. Eurgh, that doesn't work, does it?
It's perfect, right? The wings, the detail, the energy?
It's a charming little mischief machine with an endearingly cartoony beat and it still feels kinda nasty?
Like, it's got a bit of edge - it's a fighter jet and it's black - but it's shaped like a friend!
The cockpit comes off kinda warm and comfy, the nosecone's all cushiony and round,
the vibe is daft and I am lost in it.
But again, we gotta face the inevitable needling knowledge that this wack-ass accessory -
- really does nothing for it. Like, I'm trying to enjoy it sarcastically, but nothing's coming.
Ooh, handlebar moustache on a jet! Is that anything? No.
It just suffers without the null-rays, without that extra bit of pointy flair!
But y'know what? You can just borrow some off Combiner Wars Skywarp. He won't mind, he's not doing anything!
There ya go, Perfect. See? Just outsource it! What's the problem?
So, I dunno! I'm into this. Legacy Warpcore here is the most unambiguously fun
Skywarp I've seen in years, easy. Even with the asterisk of weaponry weirdness,
it's unequivocally an adorable, accessible, engrossing and enchanting take on my favourite shady shitebag!
And it really throws such a spotlight on what a mediocre move Earthrise Skywarp was.
Like, I don't hate the toy itself. It's impossible to hate the toy itself!
It's a solid, serviceable Skywarp, it's a safe pair of hands, but it IS the Classics toy.
And yes, I LOVE the Classics toy. There was a time when I had twelve of it.
I liked it when it came out in 2006 and just never really updated my opinion on it.
Of course it'll always stay close to the portion of my heart that is a nerd -
right up in my collector ventricle - my nostalgiaorta - but it really is all cubes, ain't it?
And sure, the Earthrise one's a bit bigger, a bit smoother, it tackles a few of the issues, but enough already, right?
There's improvement, but there's no invention. This is an HD remaster. This is playing the hits. It's mid and it knows it.
Same.
While this little Legacy legend breathes fresh fervour into a firm fave!
It's just so encouraging to see that we can embrace such an established and beloved robot design
and still find ways to make it new and surprising!
I know the third party scene's keeping at it. We see your good work and long may it continue
but isn't it so pleasant to be able to just nip down the shops and grab something THIS good for less than 15 quid?
And maybe that's what the weapon is!
Simply a visual representation of the massive dub that is Transformers Legacy Skywarp.
In a bit, babes.
Bosh! We are on it. Cheers for watching, everybody! Sometimes you just gotta do a quick one about your favourite guy, right?
Massive thanks as always to all the patrons but particularly, David Morrison. Thank you mate. Next time, baby girl!
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Limited appeal, keeping it real.
Tongs!?