>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT HAVE YOU HEARD THE
LATEST NEWS ABOUT THE "TITANIC"?
FIRST OFF, IT SANK.
ALL RIGHT, SO SPOILER ALERT.
BUT THERE'S MORE NEWS.
ACCORDING TO NEW CLAIMS, IT WAS A COAL FIRE, NOT JUST AN ICEBERG
THAT DOOMED THE "TITANIC."
THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THE THE INITIAL SPARKS FOR THE FIRE
CAME, FROM BUT I'M GUESSING HOT SEX AND A MODEL "T."
AND, EVIDENTLY, THE CREW KNEW ABOUT THE FIRE, BECAUSE IT HAD
BEEN BURNING FOR THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE "TITANIC" EVEN
SHOVED OFF.
THEY EVEN PARKED THE SHIP WITH THE SCORCH MARKS FACING THE
OCEAN, SO PASSENGERS COULDN'T SEE THEM.
THEY PULLED THE WORLD'S LARGEST "DIRTY COUCH CUSHION FLIP."
SO DID FIRE BRING DOWN THE "TITANIC"?
I PERSONALLY DO NOT BUY IT BECAUSE WE HERE AT THE "LATE
SHOW" HAVE COMBS THROUGH OUR ARCHIVES, AND WE HAVE FOUND A
COMPELLING DOCUMENTARY CARTOON THAT PROVES IT WAS THE
ICEBERG TARGETING THE "TITANIC" ALL ALONG.
JIM.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> YYAAHH!
( GRUNTING ) ♪ ♪ ♪
( SLURPING ) ♪ ♪ ♪
( LAUGHTER ) >> HA-HA-HA!
HA-HA-HA!
>> ECH.
( BELL RINGS ) HA-HA-HA!
( SLURPING ) ( SIGHS ).
>> HA-HA-HA!
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> HA-HA-HA!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: YOU HANG IN THERE, TINY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KATE BECKINSALE.