Hello, my name is Jalen. I'm 21 and in a Christian university.
I'm bursting with confidence, a handsome man, muscular, very social with friends.
In a lucrative degree field, a senior, a small symbol status, though I am short, 5'4.
I wonder if this is going to piggyback off of what we just talked about. I use your TED technique and
it's extremely effective. I cold approach groups of girls, or a single lady if she's alone. I build
rapport with her friends to gain acceptance and then I use TED with the girl I'm interested in.
I eventually go in for the close by setting up a date a few days later. Here's my issue,
after setting the date, they tend to disappear. 90% of the time they flake or give an excuse over
text. My thought process is that they are picking other guys over me that are taller since I'm 5'4.
My perspective is that it's this way because I don't have an active presence around her and I'm
not there to continue to spike emotion. But a few other men that have observed me approaching women
have stated that I have game, but I'm confused on why I'm not able to have
most of them show up on a date. I mainly just want an answer or to see where I'm slipping up.
Alright, well since I can't see what you're doing, but it sounds like you're doing pretty well,
the way I can diagnose this issue is probably a few things might be happening. First of all,
the fact that your 5'4. Yeah, it does not help. I agree. Women do say they want tall men,
they go for tall men. It's just the reality. Does that mean that you can't get a woman being 5'4?
Absolutely no, it doesn't mean that. It means... you can. You absolutely can. (I stumbled over my
words over that.) Yeah, you can. I'm working with a guy right now who's like 5'1, 5'2,
who's 40 and we've already gotten him a few girls and gotten him laid in the coaching program,
and he's 40. He's not even at your youthful age. Although men do
tend to increase in sexual market value as they get older. But anyway. What do I think you're
doing wrong? There's a few things without actually seeing what's going on. Either one, you said here,
"I eventually go in for the close by setting up a date a few days later." Stop doing that.
Either set up a date right there and then in the approach. So when you're talking to them set up a
date, or set up a date that night over text or the next day. Do not wait a few days later. Because
they're gonna forget about you. I don't care if you're 6 feet tall or 6'5. They still might
forget about you a few days later and go "ah, who was that guy again? I don't really remember."
And remember that they are getting bombarded with information. I think that social media and
and our screens on our phones are screwing us up and screwing our brains up a little bit
and we can't focus and concentrate like we used to. Anyway, I think that every day that goes by,
you exponentially decrease your chances of her wanting to see you again.
Unless you made a really good impression. Which brings me to the second point.
But before we go into the second point, the first point – stop waiting so long.
There is such a funny scene in Swingers. I think I've said this before on the podcast.
You gotta watch... guys, you gotta watch the movie Swingers. I bet you most people have not heard of
that movie because it's like an indie movie from the early 90s. It's with Jon Favreau, so Vince
Vaughn and Jon Favreau. If you don't know who that is, they made a movie in the early 90s called
Swingers and it's about guys who are meeting women and dating life in LA. And they said that they
wait six days to call the girl. And that was like a joke in the movie. But that might work in 1992
because we didn't have a lot of other ways of meeting men and we weren't distracted all
the time. So maybe that worked. Maybe they did remember that guy a little bit more in
the early 90s. But it's not happening today. My next point for you is that
you might be having conversations that are going faster... or I should say
too fast. So you're talking to her for two, three minutes, you think it's like a long time,
but it's really not. You get her number and those two to three minutes, maybe even five minutes,
hell maybe even five to seven minutes, just wasn't enough time to really build attraction. Women need
more time. They might not become attracted to you right away. They might think you're attractive or
not attractive as a person physically. But that's not enough for them to want to sleep with a guy or
respond to a guy. They need more context, right? So you need to spend more time in the approach.
I would err on that side. If you're not spending more than 10 minutes,
do not expect that girl to want to see you again. I know, I get it guys. You do an
approach and you're in there for five minutes and it feels like forever. It's not though,
it's five minutes. Just because it feels long to you, it's still five minutes, which means it's not
enough time to really build attraction. I need you to focus on spending more time in the interaction
so that she can become more invested in you. And that happens when you increase the time.
I want you to make sure you're doing that. My guess is if you fix both of these things, that 90%
that you said, you said 90% of the time they flake or give an excuse over text,
will drop maybe by half. Or you need to approach more women.
Maybe you're approaching a couple women a week and your game is tight enough to get the number.
But it's not enough of a sample size or enough data, enough approaches to get
what you're looking for. I would definitely try to increase the amount of approaches.