(bright guitar music) (people laugh and chat)
- Hello and welcome to the channel.
Now today, we're gonna mix it up slightly.
We're gonna ask two of our normal home cooks
to take one of my guilty pleasures and make it gourmet.
- Not that guilty pleasure, we vetoed that one.
- Oh no. (chuckles queasily)
(cheerful jazz music)
- So yep, if you get home late
and you haven't got time
to even throw together a quick supper,
the cheese and cracker option is perfect.
Simple, humble, delicious.
Hits the spot every time.
- [Jamie] Now I think our version of cheese and crackers
is already different
to his version of cheese and crackers,
so he's already- - You've gotta have
a few different cheeses.
You gotta have some grapes, some celery,
little bit of chutney, maybe.
- On your own?
- Yeah.
- So what we have to do is now surpass that.
- But also stick to the brief,
which is what he's rubbish at.
(screen wipe whooshes) So cheese and crackers.
- Why don't we look at the individual elements
of a cheeseboard.
- If you went to a three Michelin star restaurant,
what would that be?
What's the poshest cracker that you can get?
You could do it like a cheesecake
but if you had it put a glossy, red glaze
over the cheesecake to make it look like an Edam.
- He loves it 'cause you're making a giant Babybel.
(all laugh)
We need to do something elevated with the biscuit.
- Grapes is where there's something we need to consider.
- Whipped goats cheese or whipped blue cheese
or something like that. - Whipped Feta.
- Yeah, whipped Feta, that was amazing.
- [Mike] I think that's a plan.
- Yeah. - Cool
- Now we just gotta make it.
- Easy.
- Where you starting?
- We're gonna start with the crackers.
Making them ourselves.
- Gourmet. (both chuckle)
- Much like when I made noodles from scratch.
- No. - No.
- No, no. - Much like when I made a bean
and sausage cassoulet from scratch.
So just to clarify,
you've come up with an idea, in your normal brains.
You've run it past the food team
just to make sure it's not insane,
but essentially, you're running at this blind.
It's your first time.
- Yeah, the food team did say it was slightly insane,
but we're doing things that we've done before on the show.
So we're not completely stepping out our comfort zone,
apart from one element, which is a complete test.
- So for our spelt crackers, I'm combining spelt flour,
salt and baking powder into a bowl.
I'm gonna add in some seeds,
some honey, little bit of water,
mix it all together onto a baking tray, into an oven.
Gourmet. - Why spelt flour?
- Well it's impossible to make spelt crackers
if you're not gonna use spelt flour, isn't it?
Otherwise they're just crackers.
- Yeah, that's a very valid answer.
(Jamie laughing) I'll ask a better question.
Why have you chosen to make spelt crackers?
- Because we've got spelt flour.
(Ben laughs)
(upbeat funky music)
- So where do you think Ben went wrong
in making things gourmet?
- 'Cause there's been a lot of abuse in the comments.
And when I say abuse,
I mean constructive criticism, of course.
- I think in each video that we've done previously,
you've gone wrong in different ways.
- You've changed the brief
and never actually got anywhere near the original brief.
- Your version of making gourmet
actually across all three of those episodes
was to make a different dish that already existed.
Why not make something completely new?
- That's a lot of butter.
- Actually gonna pick some of this butter out,
but some of it's already attached itself to the spelt flour.
- You don't see this in Michelin star restaurants do you?
- That's 'cause you don't look in the kitchens.
- True.
- They're all fingering floury butter.
The thing for me that makes cheese and crackers so perfect
is you have the texture of the crunch.
You have the dairy fat of the cheese,
which is either a chew or it's creamy.
You also have some sort of acidity,
of some chutney or some piccalilli,
some fruitiness from some grapes on the side,
maybe a stick of celery, or refreshing crunch,
that kind of bitterness.
And it just works
and gives you the excuse to open a glass of mead
or beer or wine to go with it.
- So Babybels, somewhat flavorless.
- Aw, it's a subtle flavored cheese.
It's got a slight tang.
- We're mixing that with the cheddar, from your board,
and then a bunch of spice to do a compound cheese.
We're taking basic cheeses
and making them gourmet in flavor.
Do you wanna spice this or not?
- Yeah, yeah.
I just also need some room to make a floured surface
so I can roll out my dough to about two millimeters,
and in rectangle shape
and then cut it into eight separate rectangles,
move them onto a baking tray and pop them into oven.
- All going into a blender (clears throat)
and then to compound.
(mixer rattles and whirs)
(upbeat funky music)
- [Ben] It looks like a lovely dough.
- [Barry] That is beautiful.
- [Jamie] Yeah, I'm quite surprised.
- Nine times out of 10, when I make crackers,
I actually like to do it between sheets of greaseproof
because you can get it really thin without it sticking,
but I think you're doing it anyway.
- Cheese has been blitzed up.
Goes very creamy.
And then, in some parchment paper,
wrap it up into a sausage
and then into a fridge to cool, to solidify.
- So far, you're making a flavored compound cheese
and you're making your own crackers.
This seems like cheese and crackers.
- Gourmet cheese and crackers. - Well, homemade, for sure.
- The original plan was to solidify that
with little cubes. - Yeah.
- I quite like the creamy texture of it.
Shall I hold some back and then mix and match,
and it's on a plate? - Oh yeah.
- Half and half? - Perfect.
- Yep, I like it.
- Gourmet is a noun.
It's a person, it's someone who takes pleasure
in eating and drinking,
and therefore, to make something "gourmet"
as an adjective,
you have to make it suitable for said "Gourmand".
Do you think that's what you're doing?
- In that case, I think this dish works perfectly for you,
because not only is this a sophisticated,
well put-together dish,
but also, we know you love your theater
and this is gonna be a show and a half.
- [Ben] Originally from the French meaning "wine taster".
(laid back indie music) Why the egg white?
- It's gonna help create a lovely golden crust.
- A nice shine and crisp crust.
- [Jamie] Mm.
- [Ben] And something that the seeds will stick to.
- Woo, gourmet.
Into an oven for 12 minutes.
Then for another five minutes, at 160,
see how they get on.
- Okay, what would you rather?
- I'd rather set a timer
so I know what's going on. - For goodness sake.
- You know about that whole thing about finishing a job?
- Yep. - Yeah, that's the job.
(laid back indie music)
- So Jay, you're doing Parmesan crisps, or Parmesan tuille.
- Tuille!
- Parmesan one of those ingredients
I love to have in the fridge
'cause it's got a relatively long shelf life.
Wonderful flavor to add to so many things.
- While Jamie does that,
onto the caper jus, or sauce.
We've got some sultanas
that have been soaking in water overnight.
We're gonna drain those off
and add that to a bunch of capers and blitz it up.
Mike had it in a Store Cupboard Ingredient episode,
and he had it with pigeon, which was a game changer.
So we had to steal that and use it in this.
- Interesting that to make it gourmet
you've just added French words.
- Isn't that what all chefs do?
- That's what I did with the cassoulet, yeah. (chuckles)
- (chuckles) Yeah.
This is... (upbeat music)
(jar lid pops)
- So for clarity, equal quantity of dried fruit and capers,
but the weight of the dried fruit is when it's dried,
not once it's absorbed all the water
and rehydrated overnight.
(blender whirring)
It's going so long, there's some steam coming off of it.
(upbeat guitar music)
(utensil banging)
- And there's no other way of doing that?
(crew laughs) - I know.
I've wondered that.
- Have you got a little skewer there, Jay?
- I mean, if only that jug had a spout on it.
- I imagine it tastes a lot better than it looks.
- [Jamie] It's like a horrific Mr. Whippy.
- Shake it off.
Let's stop. (laughs)
Okay, fridge.
- So Parmesan crisps done.
Compound cheese done.
Crackers done.
Caper and sultana puree done.
- Now, whipped goats cheese and ricotta.
Jamie, you do that.
I'll bang a pomegranate.
When de-seeding a pomegranate,
do it in water and then, when the pith floats to the top
and all the pomegranate stays at the bottom.
Also, it reduces the chance
of getting pomegranate all over your lovely white shirt.
- There's some lovely ways of cutting a pomegranate
that mean it's much easier in life.
You can actually segment it down by its natural sections
or, as we've done a number of times, through the middle.
And then I always like to hold it over my open hand,
fingers open and just hit it on the back
with a back of a wooden spoon or a rolling pin.
And it pushes out all the seeds.
(heavy rock music)
(marker pen scratching)
- Whip together goats cheese, and ricotta.
And that will help you make
whipped goats cheese and ricotta.
(heavy rock music)
- Lots of elements to this cheese and cracker plate.
But each of them quite simple.
- Ebbers, what kind of cheeses
would you usually expect on your cheeseboard?
- I think you need a selection.
It's good to have some blue for those who like it.
I do, a blue vein.
It doesn't always have to be super blue.
A little subtle blue, perhaps.
- Like a light blue.
- Something hard and matured.
Cheddar is classic. (Jamie snorts)
Something goaty or maybe sheepy.
- (sniggering) Right.
Sorry, are we still talking about cheese boards? (laughs)
(crew laughs)
- It's quite lumpy, innit?
- It's the goats cheese skin. - Yeah, skin.
(bowl banging)
- [Ben] Told you should have peeled it.
- [Barry] One thing with gourmet is
you can't have lumps, can you?
- No.
Unless you specifically say
that it's lumpy - Lumpy.
(heavy rock music)
- For me, yeah.
Celery does belong on a cheeseboard,
but I'm not a massive fan of a big stick of it.
We go for ribbons and then straight into ice, cold water.
They curl up.
So should look really pretty and gourmet on the plate.
- Use celery, but make it gourmet.
- I agree with peeling celery, there's nothing worse
than getting those stringy bits in your teeth.
Ribbons is a nice touch.
You've mentioned the word "theater".
What on Earth does that mean?
- Well, two ways Ebbers,
we don't wanna give the surprise away to you,
but here is an illustration of what it should look like.
(heavy rock music)
- [Ben] I like it and that's why I forced you to commit.
- [Barry] I have to draw this,
(Jamie laughs) which will be interesting.
- Okay, still lots going on.
What else you got left to do?
- We've got the cheesy base,
the cheesy shards.
We've got our crackers.
We've got compound cheese,
celery, now.
A few grapes.
Making the vinegarette
and some oozy, warm truths.
- What's going in your dressing?
- Putting up the honey and red wine vinegar dressing
and probably a splash of oil,
but I might put that first.
- I like the little nod
of red wine vinegar with the cheese board.
Often a choice that I go for,
although actually a nice glass
of crisp white, high acid can also work, or a port.
I mean, if you need to emulsify it,
you can also add in a tiny little bit of your egg yolk.
- That sounds a really cheffy thing to do.
- A little bit of mustard, for example,
in a French dressing,
will give you that same kind of emulsification.
- [Barry] Just a little bit of egg yolk.
- [Jamie] A little bit of egg yolk.
- Just literally, like a drop, pinprick's worth.
- Right, what he's done there is put half an egg yolk in.
(mixture slopping) So...
- Now it's time for the star of the show.
We had this in a pretentious episode,
Scamorza cheese, beautiful, smokey cheese,
that when heated up,
it becomes something that
I'd never experienced before in cheese.
It was chewy and stringy.
It was everything you could ever wish for in a cheese.
- Okay, let's get this thing plated up.
You've got all your elements.
How does it come together?
- Ebbers, is there a countdown?
- Well, yeah, I'm just waiting for cheese and crackers.
- Okay, give us a countdown then.
- Three, two, one.
(Jamie's hands clap)
- Ebbers, would you mind just popping out for a little bit?
We've got to do a few little finishing touches.
(screen wipe whooshes)
- Right, and...
- In case, boop.
(chair bangs) We got you there, sir.
Okay, Ben.
Time to remove the blindfold
and lift the cloche.
- That was under a cloche anyway,
the blindfold was irrelevant. - Yes, well.
Reveal your gourmet cheese and crackers
in three, two, one.
- A little guilty pleasure.
- Start the music.
("In the Hall of the Mountain King")
(bombastic orchestral music)
- What a feast.
- What d'ya think?
- Well, he's taken the simple, humble plate
of cheese and crackers
and made it celebratory and something to share.
I kinda like it.
- I feel like we Rowan Atkinson'ed it.
- A little bit.
- It was a little bit "Love, Actually".
- [Barry] Yeah.
- I'm looking forward to trying each individual bit.
I'm confused by what it all tastes like together.
- May I?
- Yeah, dig in. (chuckles)
Cheers. - Cheers.
(bright guitar music)
- Your crackers aren't as onomatopoeia as I'd hoped.
(Jamie giggling)
- More bready than crackery. - Mm.
- The whipped goats cheese, lovely.
With the sharpness of that sweet caper, sultana tang.
The funky cheese, the Parmesan,
which we know of a Parmesan crisp.
- That chili cheese packs a punch.
- And some fire cheese.
It's all delicious.
I like the little bit of honey
that comes through in the crackers.
The thing is, the guilty pleasure
of a throw together plate of cheese and crackers is simple.
But when you turn it into a cheese course
rather than a cheese board, especially in France,
it's the course that comes before dessert.
And I feel like that is something
you could put down on the table
for a whole group of people to dig into
and they would be more than happy.
It's all delicious.
- And they got the experience of seeing it.
- Yeah, but nobody needs to see that bit.
The unedited version of that wasn't great, Jamie.
(Barry snorts)
Well, there's no denying,
it's yummy and it's kind of impressive
and it looks very inviting.
Is it gourmet?
I dunno, 'cause we've changed that definition so many times,
which means it's over to you guys, comment down below.
Did our two normal home cooks
make cheese and crackers gourmet?
Comment "Yes" or "No",
and more importantly, "Why".
What's the definition of gourmet?
- They do cat food that's gourmet, don't they?
- Do they? - Yeah.
- Wow. - Yeah.
You can buy gourmet cat and dog food.
(production card beeps)
- (chuckles) Is that your drag name?
"Snack Sized Waxed Cheese."
(both laughing)
- There's nothing snack sized about it.
- Right. - Oh dear.
Oh dear. - Excellent, lovely.
Ruined that.
(crew laughs) - Cool.
(Jamie giggling) - Right.