Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron. And some of you out there may be celebrating today's release of the new iPhone, and I celebrate in my own way.
I'm gonna be microwaving some iPods. This one right here was given to us by Dan Piddington, and this one by Michael Kurtske.
And, atothej1822, apparently, you can fix that iPod video for $40, which is why I'm listening to it right now. Thanks, man!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number-one concern. That's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, because nobody likes roasted nuts!
We also have these masks and goggles, to protect our eyes and our lungs and all that stuff. And some fans, to circulate the air. And Lacey, the new love of my life!
She's everything I wanted but never really had.
Jon: Even though she's the smallest microwave you've ever had!
Yeah, before, I thought bigger is better- I don't think so! I don't think so! It's not the size of the magnetron. It's the ratio between wattage and cubic feet, I think!
Jon: Or the radiation cancer you get!
That's a good point! So now, we're gonna do every guy's dream: two iPods at the same time, baby! Put those in there. I wonder how long I should put those in there for?
Okay, iPod, iPod... I'm gonna go for six minutes.
Jory: Ooh! I thought I saw a spark already!
Jon: I'm not gonna lie- this is like a wet dream for me! To watch Steve Jobs's precious creations melt away in my microwave!
Jory: The screens look like they're already bubblin'. Oh! You can kinda see through the mini's buttons! Sometimes, you can see right through! It's like it's staring at us. I don't like it...
Jory
Jon: Oh! Maybe not! And it's done!
Jory: 'Cause you notice, the other electronics we do, catch fire by now.
Jon: The iPod is now conducting its own electricity experiments before completely submitting to Jory's will!
Jory: Hmm... That's true, that's true!
Jon: They're making a nice click-click sound, and I don't think it's the wheel!
That's a good point! It's like crying out in pain! Oh, wow! It's really smoky now! I can't even see in there anymore.
Jon: I suppose if it catches on fire you'd find out about it, right?
Jory: I don't know!
*iPods explode*
Jon: WOW!
Jory: Okay! That's a good place to stop!
Jon: Holy [beep]! Were you watching that?! That was one of the push-button doors! That means that must've been a really big blast!
Jory: Do you smell that?
Jon: Oh, wow! Wow!
Jory: I think that's the battery that exploded.
Jon: Good way to break Lacey in! This thing's only two experiments old! You've already completely wrecked her!
Jory: Oh, jeez! I was not expecting it to explode!
Jon: Or blow the door off! Jesus Christ, that was intense!
Jory: See, right around there? That's "Closing Time." And right over there is that song you never listened to.
Jon: And that's the one by Ace of Base!
Jory: Up there? That's the song you have on "repeat." I don't know why, but you may still be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave an iPod?
Jon: I would say, "Yes, it is!"
Jory: If you can't get it repaired, you might as well blow it up in a microwave you bought on Craig's List, am I right?
Jon: You're gonna upgrade to the iPhone today, anyway! You might as well toss the old one in your microwave!
Jory: I'm still gonna say NOT a good idea to do it in your home microwave, but go ahead and give it a try! Why not? What's the worst that can happen?
Jon: Well, THAT, but yeah! Alright!
Jory: Okay, that's it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
*end credits play*
Jon: Somewhere, somewhere in the world, a rich man wearing a black turtleneck is crying!