hi i'm josh i'm ollie i'm rev chris
and today you're going to be giving some
jolly
relationship advice right
[Music]
there's a legendary subreddit called
relationship advice
we are probably going to get complaints
in the comments that we have sanitized
this
list somewhat as they should do i am a
legitimate
vicar he's emotionally fragile we're
just going to be scratching the surface
a little bit give you a taste and see
what you have to say because i'm
interested as well
first up it's been 12 years
he still hasn't proposed i don't need to
see any more people have a problem with
getting engaged these days what do you
mean i call it the notting hill syndrome
the idea that you will walk around the
corner
and one day you'll spill orange juice on
julia roberts and you'll fall madly in
love
we're just waiting for the right person
to just bump into us it doesn't happen
guys love is commitment and work so are
you sort of
saying that in your experience a lot of
the reason people don't propose is
because they might
meet someone else who's even more
magical than the person they're with
right now
i think i think there's a little bit of
that if you're in a relationship for
more than i think two years and you're
thinking should should i marry this
person
three questions to ask yourself do they
make you
a better person i think you have to be
attracted attraction can come in varying
forms but you know if you're attracted
would they be a good wife would they be
a good mother or
would they be a good husband would they
be a good father and obviously there are
telltale signposts about negative
relationships like
i'm not saying if you have been together
for such and such amount of time you
should simply just get married because
you might actually need to leave that
relationship if there's abuse if there's
constant criticism and you're trying to
be formed and pushed into a person
you're not if you're not supported there
are many more fish in the sea
you don't have to just put up with it
you can leave there's a toffee guys
flipping
you guys just oh chris could you come
over oh by the way
boom life problems on the internet we
could have been reading memes
yeah what happened to christian memes
part four i think i got reverse catfish
last night
i'm actually this girl on tinder she was
significantly bigger than girls i
normally date
but we have literally everything in
common so i figured i'd give it a shot
so i decided to meet up
at this nerd bar last night after
waiting a few minutes this beautiful
woman comes over and starts trying to
flirt with me
that's very strange so i assume she must
be after something free drinks drugs my
kidney i don't know
so i explained to her that i'm actually
waiting for someone and i don't want to
give a bad
first impression by chatting up some
other woman when she walks in
that's when she springs it on me that
she's actually the one i'm waiting for
she told me how she lost 130 pounds over
the last couple of years and she
wants to make sure guys are actually
interested in her she was also testing
me to see if i would ditch a fat girl
if someone hotter showed up so here's
the thing
i don't know how to feel about being
tested i'm not sure how i should proceed
i don't know i would just say humble
yourself she'd be like okay she's
probably been hurt
she'll give her the space why be annoyed
you can't just be like
i'm done get over yourself go for a
drink
my best friend asked me if i would be
her
sperm donor for her surrogate and i'm in
love with her but she has no idea
wow we met in college and we've been
best friends since then she got ovarian
cancer that was stage three a few years
back and survived
she mentioned a year ago she was
considering surrogacy the thing is i'm
in love with her
i have been for years and she has no
idea regardless of how she feels i still
want to donate
and if she doesn't feel the same way i
will love her as my best friend
he probably knows the answer and if he
loves her he should definitely tell her
i think it will be complicated but love
covers over much complexity speaking of
notting hill syndrome it does actually
read like the beginning of a rom-com
no i think there's a i think there is a
film about this kind of event there's an
update
i appreciate all the feedback most of
you were so nice we met up this morning
i could barely eat and she could tell
something was up oh my god
i sat down and told her everything how i
realized i was in love with her several
years back
i told her that i'd never said anything
because i didn't want to jeopardize our
friendship her face turned white then a
myriad of expressions came over her face
and she started
laughing till tears came down her face i
honestly was stunned my stomach was in
my throat and i honestly thought that
almost 12 years of friendship were down
the toilet she half laughed and sobbed
that she was in love with me too
we hugged and i told her that there was
no one else on earth i want to have a
child
with but her i know this isn't a rom-com
that thing's going to end up
not working out for us in the end
however i'm pretty sure that if there
are such thing as soul mates
she is mine oh thank you guys and gals
for giving me a cruise
yes done come on all right next step
that's good that's good i'm glad it
worked it's been six plus years and i
feel like nothing is there anymore
we're not married i just feel like the
spark the passion the desire to stay is
fading
i come home and i'm more excited to see
the dogs that's not a good sign
i mean i i have a dog you're more
excited to see the dog than you have to
see me i think
how do you think that makes me think
it's true people forget that
relationships are relational and that it
doesn't just
happen they need commitment they need
sacrifice they need creativity
you need to put energy into it to get
something out of it and i think a lot of
people get comfortable
they get relaxed and their spouse
ends up becoming more like a brother and
sister
so i would advise this person to be like
okay why do i fall in love with her
and then how do we rekindle that and
the independence of the other is quite
good thing for
the two individuals within the
relationship we need
the wealth of relationships outside of
our own relationship
to help us become the individual that we
initially fall in love with this is why
it's so good that you have gabby
you know and you're an idiot
next up first date help all right i
a 21 year old male i'm going to watch
annabelle tomorrow
on my first date with a 22 year old
female gotta stop you there terrible
decisions terrible
people like going one day not this guy i
am an extreme scaredy cat and gets
spooked by
jump scares easily how
not to piss my pants and ruin my first
date
i think the old ways of girls get scared
and the guys have to be strong is yeah
well i think
we're getting wise to the fact that
that's not true we're all human and some
people get more scared than others
doesn't matter if you're male female
oh like look by the way i get freaked
out if i grab you it's not because i'm
being inappropriate because i'm
legitimately about to feed my parents
i need a human pillow to get in front of
me
all right next up how can i stop lying
to everyone i've got an idea
stop lying my girlfriend smelled smoke
on my breath the other
day and asked have i been smoking i
denied i denied i denied until i cracked
and told her i had
her mom picked up on it months ago that
i just lie about even the smallest of
details but i've picked up
on it now and it's something i've done
for years and it's starting to build up
to the point where i make up stories
that i believe myself this is lying it
seems for the acceptance of others
and i would say that this person needs
probably a little bit more
than a simple oh just stop lying jesus
tells us parable about these two sons he
says the father goes to the first son
and says help me in the fields and the
first son says
yeah dad okay cool i'll see you there
i'm on way and doesn't go and then the
second son
says no i'm not going i'm tired i'm not
gonna go
but then he goes and he helps in the
field and i often feel like that second
where i'm like oh i'm
arguing like no no i don't want to do it
but then i go and do it
i said this to jenny the other day and
she said you know there's a third option
chris
you could just go yeah i'll go and go i
was like
yeah you're right i think this person
needs to just be like
i'm gonna challenge myself to tell the
truth for a week
no matter what the cost i mean the
question i've got is how can we even
trust what he's writing then
oh right i need to go guys oh what
right now yeah i told you i had an
appointment relationship provided takes
longer than you expect
it would just be me and you that'd be
weird and yeah first time ever how are
we going to coat wally oh the chairs are
going to be fine i'll see you jolly soon
all right bye
i 28 think my girlfriend 26 has been
using my gym socks
to wipe after going to the bathroom
a wee or a poo
what what
i keep all my socks and underwear in the
bottom drawer of the dresser
i couldn't figure out where all of my
gym socks had gone so i did the very
natural thing of asking my girlfriend
what happened to them she went silent
turned red and ran out of the room when
i went
to see her if she was okay she wouldn't
talk to me i told her i wasn't mad i was
just looking for my socks
she kind of mumbled i don't know
i still wasn't mad of course but i was
super confused so i asked her again even
laughed about it and she just looked at
me
and got mad and said i buy you new ones
on my way out i grabbed the garbage to
take outside when i got outside i lifted
the lid off the garbage can and i
noticed a small plastic bag
sitting at the top of the garbage
already in there and there were socks in
the back
i opened the bag and immediately
regretted that decision inside the bag
were several pairs of my gym socks
covered in what looked like poop as soon
as the smell hit me i knew
it was poop as soon as my girlfriend saw
the bat she flipped outside yelling at
me she said i shouldn't be going through
the garbage and i was disgusting for
bringing it back into the house
i asked her is this your poop
she started sobbing again and ran out of
the house so now i'm sitting on my bed
with a bag of poopy socks on the floor
and a lot of questions in my head
i feel like ollie's missing out really
would i love this one
it wasn't
is there a follow-up there's an update
oh thank god
update she texts me back she's clearly
embarrassed but she felt she owed me an
explanation
i found the reason she always does the
laundry is because she was hiding the
fact that she uses
socks to wipe with primarily her own
she admitted she has done this for a
long time
her reasoning as best as i can
understand because she is a germaphobe
and is afraid of her getting her hands
messy in any way
so instead she uses socks because it
covers her entire hand
she used mine because she doesn't have
any other socks
i hope we can laugh about this later i'm
trying to find the humor in it now but
i'm still waiting out
wow do you want me to give advice to
this situation
this isn't this isn't covered by my
biblical knowledge it's not you don't
get training for this
i can imagine i've never done it like a
fabric sock
you could really do a lot more work
get in there you could clean it clean it
i'm not in but you know
clean well i hope they reached that
solution together i hope there was uh
some good
premium closure wow
all right okay moving on yesterday
me 33 year old male 1 wife's
34 year old best friend contacted me
and told me that her husband
and my wife are having an affair and my
three-year-old daughter
is actually his daughter
[Music]
gosh when lies come to light the bubble
can be burst
yeah and when the bubble is burst it can
be so rocking of someone's world
the guy even says everything was a lie
right yeah
it's like how do you even go forward and
what you need
at this point is you need strong
friendship you need people to
remind you of who you are and you need
time so yeah i would encourage this guy
to
not make rash knee jerk reaction to know
that his daughter is still his daughter
he still loves her
that she is not part of the lie and then
go forward with the process of dealing
with his wife and
his friend that is a heavy one to end on
we are a complex bunch us humans we each
have an inherent
value and the complexities of
relationships
are just vast and you are precious
and so is the other even if they're
being foolish and silly they're still
precious
and they just might need healing and
time i hope that
maybe for some of you at home that
you're in relationships maybe that has
been a little bit
insightful and that was the internet's
relationship advice we'll see you jolly
soon bye