- Hey, let me tell you about something I--
This is--this is something I found out about.
There's a trend that-- this is--it's on YouTube.
It's called "unboxing videos."
Have you heard of the unboxing videos, anybody?
[scattered crowd response]
Some people have, most people have not?
Good, I'm not-- [laughter]
I'm not the last one to--
Usually, I like to be up on what's going on,
and I found out about this, and it is crazy!
Okay, people post videos of themselves
opening things that they bought.
[laughter]
And it's usually just their hands.
It's usually just hands opening boxes, that's it.
I've got two questions. Number one:
why? [laughter]
Number two: seriously, why?
The videos show people opening up, like, a new pair of shoes,
or a watch or a cell phone or something like that.
It's strange, and here's what's really strange,
other people watch them.
[laughter]
Not just a few people. A lot of people.
Like, it's extremely popular.
The--it's--the most popular unboxing videos are toys,
and this is--I-- this is one of them.
(speaking very mildly) - This egg surprise is from
"Jake and the Neverland Pirates."
[quiet jazzy music plays in background
It comes with a Peter Pan mini-figure.
This is awesome.
[laughter]
Again...
why? [laughter]
I've taken Ambien that doesn't make me that sleepy.
[laughter]
How many videos--how many views do you think it has?
A thousand? Ten million?
20 million? 30 million?
40?
100 million views!
[audience exclaims]
100 million views, and I'm mad, and I don't know why.
[laughter]
Here's the other thing: the woman opening that toy?
Just from those videos, she's become a millionaire.
[audience exclaims] And all I know is,
if that lady's a millionaire, I am working too damn hard.
[laughter]
[laughter and applause]
I'm working way too hard.
[cheers and applause]
I mean, all day long, we're putting words together
that we think are clever, and ideas, and
I want to entertain you and I want it to be exciting.
Guess what I'm going to be doing every single day
when I come out here?
Andy, bring me my box.
[cheers and applause]
Thank you, Andy.
Thank you.
Oh...
Oh, hold on.
[laughter and applause]
Have to put my thumbs on.
Okay.
Can I have some unboxing music?
[quiet jazzy music plays]
Okay, oh! [laughter]
Let's see what today's box is.
Oh...
Something in the box,
What is it? Oh...
Look, it's something, and we don't know what it is, so...
let me and my thumb rings open this.
[laughter]
Listen to the music while I open something.
Ugh, it's so hard to open it.
[laughter]
Let's see what's in here.
Oh, it's getting exciting,
'cause we don't know what it is yet.
Oh, what is it?
[laughter]
Scissors.
[laughter and applause]
So wonderful, scissors.
[laughter]
Oh, we can't open it, it's so...
hard to open scissors.
[laughter]
No...
Oh, I cut myself.
Let's open this box of Band Aids.
[laughter]
Band Aids. [laughter and applause]
See what's in here.
Oh, it's a Band Aid.
[laughter]
Let's put that on. Let me just open the Band Aid.
Oh... [hoots and cheers from audience]
Yeah, it's a Band Aid going on my finger.
[laughter]
Lookit, this is awesome, yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for watching my unboxing video.
[laughter and applause]
See how many views this gets!
And now we dance together!