>> DUDE, I'M SO NERVOUS. >> WHY?
THEY'RE ESCORTS. WE'RE PAYING THEM TO LIKE US.
>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THEY'RE HERE.
LET THEM IN. >> YEAH.
>> WELL, HELLO, WE'RE YOUR DATES FROM ELEGANT EVENINGS.
>> MAY WE COME IN? >> WHY, YES, OF COURSE.
>> EXECUTIVE SUITE. IMPRESSIVE, YOU TWO MUST DO WELL
FOR YOURSELF. >> OR THEIR DADDIES DO.
>> A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH, I >> WELL --
>> NICE TO MEET YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
DANIEL? >> YEAH.
>> I'M MELANIE. DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE,
SWEETIE. >> SO THAT MAKES YOU TODD.
I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE. >> OH, I LOVE WHAT I SEE.
YOU'RE EVEN SEXIER THAN YOUR PICTURE ON THE WEBSITE.
>> YEAH, WE'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
SO, LIKE, WHAT DO WE DO FIRST? >> WELL, FIRST WE HAVE A LITTLE
CHAT. AS YOU KNOW, ELEGANT EVENINGS,
PROVIDES HIGH CLASS LADIES SUCH AS US AND THERE ARE RULES.
SUCH AS KISSING. I WILL KISS BUT ONLY WITH THIS
AMOUNT OF TONGUE. >> IS YOUR TONGUE OUT?
>> I ALLOW KISSING WITH FULL TONGUE, BUT ONLY ON THE CHEEK.
>> ALL RIGHT, GOOD TO KNOW. SO WHAT NOW?
>> WE'RE NOT DONE. CERTAIN LAUNDRY DETERGENTS CAUSE
ME TO BREAK OUT INTO AN ITCHY RAISED RASH.
SO YOU WILL HAVE TO STRIP ALL THE SHEETS OFF THE BED AND WE'LL
ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY ON THE BARE MATTRESS.
>> JUST A BARE HOTEL MATTRESS? ISN'T THAT A LITTLE GROSS?
>> IT'S NOT NEARLY AS GROSS AS THE RASH, DANIEL.
>> AND TODD, WE NEED TO COME UP WITH A SAFE WORD.
>> OH, I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT. I DON'T NEED A SAFE WORD.
>> UH, YEAH, YOU DO. I'M A POWERFUL WOMAN.
UNDERSTAND? I MEAN, STAND UP.
>> OKAY. >> JUST LOOK AT OUR SIZE
DIFFERENCE. I'M GONNA RAG DOLL YOU, MAN.
IT'S GONNA BE LIKE A SNEAKER IN A DRYER.
KAD ONK, KAD ONK, KAD ONK. >> OKAY, YEAH, LET'S PICK A SAFE
WORD. >> GOOD.
OUR SAFE WORD IS, I'M SCARED, PLEASE STOP.
>> OKAY. QUESTION.
WHAT IF I WANT TO ROLE PLAY? >> THAT'S FINE.
BUT I CAN ONLY ROLE PLAY STEWIE FROM THE "FAMILY GUY."
>> STEWIE FROM "FAMILY GUY" IS MY ONLY OPTION?
>> YES, IT'S THE ONLY VOICE I CAN DO, BUT I'M REALLY GOOD AT
IT. HELLO, BRIAN, LOOK AT ALL THESE
IMBECILES. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU WANT SOME STEWIE TONIGHT? >> YEAH, LET'S PLAY IT BY EAR.
>> AND, DANIEL, IF YOU WANT TO ROLE PLAY, I ONLY DO PATTY
PENDERGAST. >> OH, I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.
>> OH, SHE'S AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER.
SHE'S A SLUMSY MAID AND SHE HAS A CATCH-PHRASE.
OOPSIE DOOPSIE, I MUFFED IT UP AGAIN.
>> THAT'S REALLY CREATIVE. >> TODD, I NEED TO SEPARATE
BUSINESS FROM PERSONAL. SO TONIGHT, I WILL BE WEARING
THESE LINDSAY VAUGHN OAKLEY ALPINES.
>> YOU'RE GONNA BE WEARING THOSE THE ENTIRE TIME?
>> YES, SIR. WHEN THE CLOTHES COME OFF, THESE
GO ON. >> AND DANIEL, I HAVE A VITAMIN
D DEPLETION DISORDER. I REQUIRE AN EXTREME AMOUNT OF
MILK ON A DAILY BASIS. AND WHILE WE'RE BEING INTIMATE,
I WILL TAKE SEVERAL SUDDEN MILK BREAKS.
AND, I'M TELLING YOU THIS NOW SO THAT YOU'RE NOT SCARED BECAUSE I
WILL SCREAM SOMETHING LIKE, GET OFF ME, YOU DOUCHE, I NEED MILK!
AND I WILL CONSUME MILK FRANTICALLY.
>> THANKS FOR THE HEADS-UP. >> YEAH.
DO YOU LADIES MIND IF WE JUST TALK FOR A SECOND?
>> YEAH. >> NOT AT ALL.
>> EXCELLENT, THANK YOU. >> DUDE, I WISH SOME OF THIS
STUFF SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE WEBSITE.
>> YEAH, FOR $5,000 EACH, I WISH IT HAD SAID, ONLY ROLE PLAYS AT
STEWIE, AND IT'S KIND OF BAD AT THE VOICE.
>>. >> YEAH, OR WILL STOP SEX TO
CHUG MILK. >> YEAH.
>> HOUSEKEEPING. PATTY PENDERGAST AT YOUR
SERVICE. >> THAT IS SO NOT A TURN ON.
>> OOPSIE DOOPSIE, I MUFFED IT UP AGAIN.
>> BRIAN, DO YOU WANT STEWIE TO PUT THIS ON NOW OR LATER?
>> WELL, IT WOULD MAKE A GOOD STORY.
>> YEAH. >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S LOSE OUR
VIRGINITIES.