- I want to say congratulations to my good friend Oprah.
"O" magazine is celebrating its 15th anniversary.
[cheers and applause]
I--she is my friend. I love her so much.
She's like my sister from another mister,
and she's been doing a lot of interviews
about the anniversary,
and she was asked what her favorite cover was.
And I have to say, I was really flattered
by her answer.
- The fundamental truth is, there is no competition.
The best cover in 15 years was Ellen DeGeneres!
[cheers and applause]
- Thank you, Oprah.
All right, I have to admit, that's not real.
We did a tiny bit of editing,
but I have something to show you that is real.
I don't know if you've heard,
but Vice President Joe Biden recently was at an event
in Washington.
Did you hear about this?
He was holding a baby,
and he took the pacifier from the baby's mouth,
and he put it in his own mouth.
Now, some people think it was gross,
but, you know, he was just trying to have some fun
with the baby.
And to be honest,
I wasn't really surprised when I saw that,
'cause he's got--you know, he's got a sense of humor,
and he's just very playful.
And he was here on my show a few months ago,
and look what he did to me.
You must be here for another reason
besides my birthday.
What are you in Los Angeles for?
- I got your nose.
[cheers and applause]
Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
[laughter]
- Then he gave it back to me, so that's good.
Speaking of things on your face,
let's talk about selfies.
Selfies are so popular right now,
and the selfie sticks have become so popular,
they're banned in a lot of places
because they're a nuisance.
And I know that people need to take pictures of themselves,
so I came up with something brand-new,
and it's called Ellen's Selfish Stick.
It's not a selfie, so it's different,
'cause it says "selfish" right there, see?
So this has not been banned anywhere yet.
And I know you're thinking
it looks just like a selfie stick,
and that's what makes it genius.
But I've taken things a step further,
because what if your selfish stick isn't long enough?
Like, what if you need a wide-angle selfie?
And that's why I came up with this.
I'm always thinking.
Okay.
[cheers and applause]
All right.
Let me-- all right.
[cheers and applause]
Go all right? All right, that's very cool.
Yeah, I came up with that all by myself,
and somehow I magically take pictures with it, so, yeah.
This is the world's longest selfish stick.
It's a super selfish stick, and it doesn't fold for storage,
but why would you want it to?
That's what I say.