There's the frostbite thing. The losing his virginity thing. And the thing with…Aunt
Margaret?? Harry spills it all in "Spare." And since she can't clap back for herself,
he set his sights on his great aunt. Despite the familial relationship between
Prince Harry and Princess Margaret, the two didn't always get along. In Harry's earlier years,
he felt intimidated by his great-aunt's imposing presence. As he wrote in his book, "Spare,"
"Growing up, I felt nothing for her,
except a bit of pity and a lot of jumpiness. She could kill a houseplant with one scowl."
Because the young prince viewed his great-aunt as a "cold" figure,
Harry claimed that he tried to avoid her. He reportedly contemplated what
Margaret thought of him, but from his perspective, he wrote,
"I'd wonder if she had any opinion of me. It seemed that she didn't. Or else,
given her tone, her coldness, her opinion wasn't much."
"Boom."
But royal expert Gareth Russell thinks Margaret liked Harry just fine,
telling the "To Di For Daily" podcast,
"I did not get the impression that she didn't like him."
Even in his book, Harry had to admit that he
and Margaret weren't really close enough to have bad blood, adding,
"I didn't know Princess Margaret, whom I called Aunt Margo. She was almost a total stranger."
The two might not have shared the closest bond, but that doesn't mean that Margaret
never reached out to her nephew. In his book, Harry recounted the
time that the princess gave him a decorated ballpoint pen — or "biro" — one Christmas.
Unfortunately, Harry explained that he didn't understand the gift at the time,
prompting Margaret to try to defend it. He recalled,
​​"It wasn’t just any biro, she pointed out. It had a tiny rubber fish wrapped around it. I said:
'Oh. A fish biro!' OK. I told myself: 'That is cold-blooded.'"
But the princess had a habit of gifting unusual presents. Margaret's lady-in-waiting,
Lady Anne Glenconner, told The Telegraph,
"Though she went to a lot of trouble, you never quite knew what you were going to
receive. Sometimes we'd be given handbags that had clearly been worn by her."
When Princess Diana died in 1997, Margaret felt especially sympathetic toward Harry.
As Gareth Russell recalled to the "To Di For Daily" podcast,
"She said: 'It's so awful, but particularly for poor Harry because his birthday was quite close.'"
The princess was also concerned with the fact that Harry was only 12 years old at
the time. In his book about the Queen Mother, "Do Let's Have Another Drink," Russell wrote,
"Princess Margaret felt desperately sorry for Diana's sons, especially the youngest,
since it is 'terrible to lose your mother at that age.'"
"We know that some children can die of neglect."
But Margaret's negative view of Diana could have prevented
her from bonding with Harry. According to Russell,
she even resented the way the world mourned her untimely death. Russell noted of Margaret,
"She had no sympathy for the public's mood. She told a friend that the reaction was unhinged,
'rather like Diana herself.'" Despite all the bad blood flowing
between Margaret and Diana, they had quite a lot in common. In "Spare," Harry confessed
that his vision of his great-aunt evolved considerably after his childhood, writing,
"Aunt Margo also wasn't that dissimilar from Mummy. Both rebels, both labeled as sirens."
Margaret and Diana both deviated from their expected roles by
pursuing extramarital affairs. During her ill-fated marriage to Antony Armstrong-Jones,
Margaret stepped out with winemaker Anthony Barton. Similarly, Diana had lovers of her own,
including an intense relationship with military officer James Hewitt.
Ultimately, both princesses ended their respective marriages, breaking protocol.
The press reacted explosively to the resulting scandals. Margaret was portrayed as selfish,
while Diana was accused of being attention-hungry, with one 1995 Women's Wear Daily article alleging,
"[She] always longed to take her place in the front row — leapt at
the chance despite warnings she’d send the photographers wild."
Harry also claimed that some of Margaret's history reminded him of his own. Like Harry,
Margaret was once second in line to the throne. He wrote in his book,
"[Margaret's] relationship with Granny wasn't an exact analog of mine with Willy,
but pretty close. The simmering rivalry, the intense competition, it all looked familiar."
"You should kind of be sitting there, a little bit in the monarch's shadow, and just wait your turn."
Margaret was said to lament certain aspects of being the second-born princess. She apparently
struggled with the contrast between Queen Elizabeth's education and her own,
and she detested the way she was portrayed in the press. Writer
Gore Vidal remembered Margaret once telling him:
"It was inevitable when there are two sisters and one is the queen,
who must be the source of honor and all that is good,
while the other must be the focus of the most creative malice, the evil sister."
Harry echoed these sentiments, writing in his book,
"I was summoned to provide backup, distraction, diversion and, if necessary, a spare part. Kidney,
perhaps. Blood transfusion. Speck of bone marrow. This was all made explicitly clear
to me from the start of life's journey and regularly reinforced thereafter."
Margaret and Harry were given more freedom than their older siblings. Throughout the '60s,
Margaret partied with some of the biggest names in Hollywood, including Barbra Streisand,
Marlon Brando, and Elizabeth Taylor. Harry has also been known to rub shoulders with
celebrities. He's even rumored to have gotten drunk texts from Cara Delevigne.
But with A-list parties comes a culture of excess. According to the book,
"Ma'am Darling" by royal expert Craig Brown, Margaret became so entrenched
in booze and tobacco that she invented a way to do both at once. Brown wrote:
"[She] tried to combine the smoking and drinking by gluing matchboxes onto tumblers,
so she could strike matches while drinking."
Harry, too, has abused alcohol,
which he discussed with Oprah in his docu-series, "The Me You Can't See."
"I wasn't drinking Monday to Friday,
but I would probably drink a week's worth in one day on a Friday or a Saturday night."
Both Harry and Margaret eventually committed to living a healthier lifestyle. While Harry quit
drinking in order to maintain his relationship with Meghan Markle, Margaret did so temporarily
out of concern for her health. The two royals shared similar views on
romance — each falling in love with someone from outside of the fold. And, ultimately,
they suffered the consequences. In 1953, Margaret was engaged to Captain Peter Townsend,
a divorced man many years her senior. Because of Townsend's marital status and his position
as a commoner, Margaret could only wed him if she renounced her rights to the throne.
Two years later, Margaret prioritized duty over
romance. She ended things once and for all with the captain, telling the BBC:
"I have been aware that, subject to my renouncing my rights of succession,
it might have been possible for me to contract a civil marriage. But,
mindful of the Church's teaching that Christian marriage is indissoluble, and conscious of my
duty to the Commonwealth, I have resolved to put these considerations before any others."
Harry also got engaged to a divorced commoner, but he wasn't forced to renounce his title. Still,
he and wife Meghan eventually stepped down as working members of the royal family.
Margaret and Harry both faced serious pressure in their public roles as royals.
And each reported struggling with their mental health. In 1967, as Margaret's marriage to
Antony Armstrong-Jones was crumbling, the princess reportedly experienced symptoms
of psychological distress. As royal expert Andrew Morton explained to the Daily Mail,
"Margaret had phoned a friend while he was hosting a party, threatening that if he did
not check on her immediately, she would throw herself from her bedroom window."
When the friend called Queen Elizabeth,
the monarch seemed unconcerned, apparently telling him,
"Carry on with your house party. Her bedroom is on the ground floor."
While some believe that Margaret's mental health issues were never officially diagnosed,
the same cannot be said about Harry. He wrote,
"I was an agoraphobe. Which was nearly impossible given my public role."
Harry has since been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
At least one royal expert believes that Harry struggled more with the heir/spare
dynamic than Margaret ever did. On "To Di For Daily," Gareth Russell revealed that
Elizabeth and Margaret got along better than some people imagine. He revealed,
"I don't think I would necessarily buy into the idea that there was an
antagonistic relationship between Margaret and Elizabeth. I don't think that is how
either sister characterized it — from the records that we have."
Margaret's lady-in-waiting, Lady Anne Glenconner, echoed this sentiment, telling People,
"She was terribly loyal to the Queen. […] She never said anything."
"She always talked, um, was very proud of what the queen had done and all that."
This sisterly bond contrasts greatly with William and Harry's dynamic. In his book,
Harry went so far as to describe William as his, quote, "beloved brother and arch-nemesis."
"There has always been
this competition between us, weirdly." Although Harry and Margaret had much in common,
the two would never form an alliance. In 2002, Margaret died in her sleep
following a series of strokes. At the time, Harry was only 17 years old. In his memoir,
he mourned the adult relationship that he and Margaret were never able to build, writing,
"It struck me that Aunt Margo and I should've been friends. We had so much in common. Two Spares."
Margaret once mused that she was born too late, but perhaps, as author Jenny Diski once put it:
"She was born too early."
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues,
help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).