>> STEPHEN: HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. MY NEXT GUEST IS A FORMER MONK,
A "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, AND THE HOST OF THE
POPULAR PODCAST, "ON PURPOSE." HIS NEW BOOK IS "8 RULES OF
LOVE: HOW TO FIND IT, KEEP IT, AND LET IT GO."
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," JAY SHETTY.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
V. >> Stephen: VERY WELL-KNOWN
PERSON NOW. YOU'RE A PODCASTER, A SOCIAL
MEDIA SUPERSTAR. BUT YOU HAD A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
OCCUPATION NOT THAT LONG AGO. THIS WAS IT.
YOU WERE A MONK. >> UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?
LIKE CATHOLIC MONKS MAKE CHEESE AND BRANDY.
THEY PRAY A LOT. >> NO CHEESE, NO BRANDY.
WE USED TO WORK UP AT 4 A.M., TAKE A COLD SHOWER, IMMEDIATE
YOU TAKE IT, YOU WEAR TWO SETS OF CLOTHES, EVERYTHING YOU
POSSESS FITS INSIDE A GYM LOCKER.
>> Stephen: YOU SLEEP ON THEpF? >> A YOGA MAT.
YOU LOSE YOUR IDEA OF HOW YOU LOOK.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK VERY HAPPY, I HAVE TO SAY.
IT LOOK LIKE A HAPPY LIFESTYLE. HOW LONG WERE YOU A MONK?
>> FOR THREE YEARS. IT WAS A SPECTACULAR EXPERIENCE,
GETTING TO INVEST IN MY SELF FOR THREE YEARS IN A DEEP WAY HAS
REALLY PAID DIVIDENDS. >> Stephen: ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO STAY FOREVER? >> I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO STAY
FOREVER. LEAVING FOR ME WAS REALLY
CHALLENGING. I MOVED BACK INTO MY PARENTS
HOME. >> Stephen: WHICH IS HARDER
MOVING INTO YOUR PARENTS HOME OR BEING A MONK?
>> BEING A MONK. YOU ONLY GET TWO SETS OF CLOTHES
AND IF YOU DON'T WASH EVERYONE KNOWS.
>> Stephen: EIGHT RULES OF LOVE, I'M CURIOUS, BUT WHAT IS
THE VALUE OF THIS ESTHETIC LIFESTYLE, I'M CURIOUS.
>> BY 30 ODO THIS, BY 40 DO THIS, BY 50 DO THIS.
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU HAVE?
>> BY THREE YEARS TO NOT WORRY ABOUT WORRIES OR EXPECTATIONS,
TO BE ABLE TO HEAR MY INNER VOICE WAS A BEAUTIFUL PURSUIT.
(APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: WHAT MOTIVATED
YOU TO LEAVE? WHEN DID YOU SAY LIKE OKAY, I
GOT WHAT I NEED OUT OF THIS OR THERE IS SOME OTHER CALLING FOR
ME RIGHT NOW? >> I ALMOST THINK LIKE THE MONKS
HAD A BREAKUP CONVERSATION WITH ME, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME, THAT
SORT OF CONVERSATION. THEY REALIZED I HAD THIS
REBELLIOUS SPARK IN ME WHERE I WANTED TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY,
SHARE THINGS IN MODERN ACCESSIBLE RELEVANT WAYS, WAYS
THAT WOULD IMPACT A LOT OF PEOPLE AND I BELIEVE I CAME TO
THE CONCLUSION THAT AFTER THREE YEARS I WASN'T A MONK.
THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL REVELATION TO ME.
>> Stephen: AS I SAID BEFORE YOU'RE A STAR ON SOCIAL MEDIA, A
STAR ON SOCIAL MEDIA COMES WITH A LOT OF LIKES.
>> YES. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU MAKE
SURE THAT THAT ASPECT OF SOCIAL MEDIA DOESN'T CORRUPT YOU
SPIRITUALLY, SO YOU'RE NOT WORRIED WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE YOU?
>> YEAH WELL-BEING MARRIED HELPS.
MY WIFE IS THE BEST HUMBLING AND GROUNDING FORCE IN MY LIFE.
NO MATTER HOW MANY LIKES I GET. (APPLAUSE)
>> NO MATTER HOW MANY LIKES I GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA MY WIFE'S
MORE IMPRESSED IF I DID THE LAUNDRY CLEAN THE DISHES LIKE
ORGANIZE THINGS AT HOME. SO THAT'S WHERE I GET THE POINTS
AT HOME. THAT'S THE LIKES AT HOME.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN THIS NEW BOOK AS I SAID
BEFORE, EIGHT RULES OF LOVE, HOW TO FIND IT KEEP IT AND LET IT
GO. WHAT ASPECTS OF YOUR OWN LOVE
LIFE, OF ANY FLAVOR, HAVE YOU LEARNED THE MOST?
>> SO I WANT TO TELL YOU THIS STORY OF HOW I PROPOSED TO MY
WIFE. >> Stephen: OKAY.
>> AND SO WHAT I DID WAS, I'D LINED UP THIS EXTRAVAGANT BIG
GESTURE OF LOVE. SO WE'RE WALKING DOWN THE BANK
OF THE THAMES IN LONDON. THIS A CAPELLA GROUP SINGS, THIS
BRUNO MARS SONG, AND I ASKED HER WILL YOU MARRY ME?
SHE SAID YES. ANY TABLE, I HAD TO FIGHT FOR
THAT TABLE. OUR DINNER CAME IN IT WAS COLD
BECAUSE IT WAS FROM A RESTAURANT FAR AWAY.
TRIED TO EAT WHAT WE COULD, IT WASN'T THAT GREAT.
WE WALKED AND THE CORNER AND TO HER SURPRISE THERE WAS A WHITE
HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE READY TO TAKE US AROUND LONDON.
WE JUMPED IN. SHE'S SHOUTING OUT SHE'S
ENGAGED. I HAD ALREADY ASKED PERMISSION
OF HER PARENTS OF COURSE, HER MOM AND DAD OPENED THE DOOR, ALL
OF A SUDDEN THEIR EXCITEMENT TURNS TO FEAR AND THEY LOOK AT
HER AND THEY SAY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, ARE YOU OKAY?
WHAT DID HE DO? THAT WAS THE DAY THAT I REALIZED
THAT MY WIFE WAS ALLERGIC TO HORSES.
WHEN WE GOT BACK SHE WAS COVERED IN HIVES LIKE ALL OVER.
EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT, THE HIVES WENT AWAY, BUT I BUILT A
PICTURE OF WHAT LOVE SHOULD BE, FROM PICTURES AND MOVIES, THE
THING MY WIFE WOULD HAVE CARED ABOUT MOST WAS THE QUALITY OF
THE FOOD AND I MESSED THAT UP. AND I DIDN'T REALIZE SHE DIDN'T
NEED THAT HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE. THAT PROPOSAL COULD HAVE BEEN
ANYONE'S AND EVERYONE'S. THAT FROAM OF LOVE WE HAVE TO
DEFINE IT FOR OURSELVES, IT'S SO SPECIFIC.
(APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: YOU SAY HOW TO
FIND IT HOW TO KEEP IT AND LET IT GO.
WHEN DO WE LET IT GO? WHY WOULD WE LET IT GO?
>> YEAH WELL I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE HAVE BEEN MADE
TO FEEL THAT WE'RE INQUAD AND UNWORTHY WHEN WE DON'T HAVE LOVE
IN OUR LIFE ESPECIALLY ROMANTIC LOVE AND I FIND THAT WE
SOMETIMES HAVE TO LET GO OF LOVE NATURALLY, WHEN SOMEONE WE LOVE
LEVERS NATURALLY. OR WHEN IT NO LONGER HEMS US BE
WHAT, IF WE FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH OURSELVES IN ORDER TO LOVE
SOMEONE ELSE, IT'S TIME TO GO. >> Stephen: YOU CAN'T BE THE
PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BE TO BE WITH THAT PERSON.
THESE ARE SCENARIOS OF SOME PEOPLE I KNOW OF AND I WANT TO
GIVE SOME VICE IN -- ADVICE IN RELATIONSHIPS.
I KNEW A COUPLE IN HIGH SCHOOL THEY HAD A SUMMER FLING, SUMMER
LOVE, THEY WANTED TO BECOME MORE SERIOUS, HOW WOULD YOU HELP THEM
GET TOGETHER LIKE RAMA LAMBA LAMB A.
>> TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE. >> Stephen: DOES VERY A CAR?
>> DOES VERY A CAR? >> Stephen: THE BOOK IS,
EIGHT RULES OF LOVE, THE MAN IS JAY SHETTY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.