This is Stuff You Like and honestly we're
all born naked and crying and unable to
talk or control our limbs. Everything on
top of that is learned behavior. So why do
we look down on date coaching? Probably
because not all of the coaches are
entirely ethical. And that's a shame.
Today's topic is the movie Hitch in
which the plot it goeth thusly: Alex
Hitchins is a dude who was a dork who
got burned in love. Now he's a player
who teaches other men to find true love
by methods which range from entirely
unproblematic to... kind of sketchy. Sarah
Melas is a gossip columnist, Albert
Brennaman is an accountant in love with a
celebrity whose account he works on. So
Hitch and Sarah have a date or two and
these go horribly wrong while in the
background she's trying to figure out
who the date doctor is and how Albert could
land a lady like Allegra and her friend
Casey got screwed over by some dude who
Hitch refused to work with because his
clients actually like women he doesn't
do it and quit it
(here is our misunderstanding by the way)
and it all comes out in the end: Hitch is.
the date dr. Albert hired him
Allegra dumps Albert. Sarah publishes a
story about a pitch makes a plea to a
leg refer Albert sick and concludes that
actually he didn't do anything
Albert's crazy dancing whistling ways
won her over all by himself and hitch
and Sarah get over there
misunderstanding and get together in
yada yada and it's not a good movie
let's start there the script is weak a
lot of the jokes don't land and the
leads don't really have that much
chemistry and frankly I don't care of
hitch and Sarah get together
I mean emotional issues are not they
seemed pretty happy before and it's just
what everyone else is telling them and
by them I mean Sarah you need to find a
partner the cast isn't bad overall and
New York does look fabulous
to be honest I think the people who made
our best in this movie worth in New York
City tourist board thing is I think the
premise has some real potential that it
just Falls dine in some fundamental
places pitches big revelation is that it
was the inner beauty of Albert that
snagged Allegra's attention and he did
nothing but that's demonstrable not true
without the advice that hitch was doing
night Albert would never have gotten to
go on a date with allegra ever and the
love story between hitch and sara is odd
and often boring and engagingly kind of
creepy and generally just not
well-written the big romantic
declaration in particular is
cringe-inducing so much wasted potential
at least for me because here's the thing
i love self improvement in movies
dating advice life advice sports
montages all of it and I especially love
the concept of someone who coaches you
in social situations they used to be
this TV show called would like to meet
where they took my people with mostly
kind of iffy dress sense and they got
the new wardrobe and told them about
body language and then they pack them
off on a date somewhere nice and i loved
it because it's not like they were bad
people they were generally just shy and
not very good at styling themselves and
they've never been taught about flirting
or dating and they never just picked it
out by osmosis one said to have a few
tips and got some clothes that actually
fit awfully went into the world like
beautiful slightly more socially adept
butterflies boil it down to its most
basic aspect and that's pretty much what
hitch does it teaches you to be your
best self in social situations however
he also at least initially seems to be
on board with some kind of underhanded
tactics to get a woman's attention and
also treats them like they're not people
with free will but maybe that's the
lesson maybe that's what he's supposed
to have learned by the end of the movie
basic principles there are not women are
individuals i mean i think that's what
they're going for but the thing about
that is most of the advice he gives is
actually really good and useful and
applicable and should be adhered to
using my problem here
the bigger Sarah confronted with the
speed dating thing and he says that hey
maybe a guy would like to have a plan
because just saying I like you to a
woman isn't gonna work is probably one
of the better parts of the film but it
doesn't go into detail but why that's
not going to work it tries to
acknowledge that women are people with
unpredictable feelings but the writing
kind of let's have done we're supposed
to see hitch is a kind of ethical pickup
artist someone who wants men to impress
their true love and live happily ever
after but that first doesn't acknowledge
that hey maybe the lady they're
interested in would never in a million
years be interested in them and second
they do some kind of sketchy things like
the thing with the dog to get said
ladies attention it kind of saddens me
that the whole date coaching pick up
fish movement has such a bad reputation
I mean
I understand why I had such a bad
reputation it's not entirely undeserved
but it still makes me sad because that
just makes it harder for man in
particular weren't supposed to ask her
advice on anything ever especially not
related to feelings to get advice on
dating and relationships on how to
approach women without getting pepper
sprayed I don't want that to be the case
i want there to be places where young
men or older men or anyone who just
hasn't quite got a handle on this stuff
can go and say for example
hey why is it bad to approach women have
headphones in and then they can get an
answer that they understand and then
they don't do that and then life is
improved for everyone
everybody and that's why I really want
to like hitch because it's all about
presenting your best self and learning
how to correctly interpret and act in
social situations and i love that
because we're supposed to be able to
pick this stuff up automatically but a
lot of us don't
and so I want there to be a way that we
can learn it without stigma but no
because even hit shuzo ethical still
making people dogs run away so the thief
man who's in love with a woman can
affect a daring rescue
I mean on the scale of terrible things
is not as bad as say negging which is
where you until someone so as to improve
your relative social status and make
them like you and think you're alpha
something i don't know but I'm thinking
the movie would be better without the
dog thing the thing is some part of the
pickup artist movement itself like be
confident be yourself but the best
version of yourself be interesting here
our body language cues and what they
mean are great and very helpful but when
it comes with a side order of women
aren't really people that just sort of
computers and if you press all the
buttons in the right order sex comes out
and that kind of toxic entitlement
mentality that you know if you do all of
the things that women are buying to fall
at your feet then it gets gross and of
course it leads to this sub movement of
people who have spent lots of money on
pickup seminars but still can't get
women to sleep with them and so we're
angry about it like this is good for no
one still for all its faults i have a
little bit of a soft spot for hitch
because will smith is the world's most
charming man i'm casting him as someone
who helps you with your relationship
woes makes looking for help with your
relationship was less likely to be
laughed out i want or real-life ethical
date coaching to exist
dang it i wanted to be something you
have to admit to having to go to and yes
I am an old married person who never
wants to go on a date ever ever again
but I want this to exist for other
people so to that end
remember kids listen to what the other
person is saying and then respond and
thanks for watching I hope you enjoyed
this episode of stuff you like
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just like all of these nice people and
you can also hit me up for terrible
and/or brilliant dating advice on
twitter at gilbere up and i hope to see
you soon